We have two teenagers living in mine and my partners house with us. My daughter, 17 and my partners son 16...?

Question

I collect £2 coins. Yesterday, when I went to put some more coin into the jar they were all gone, about £200 pounds worth! I went down to the police station to see if they would take fingerprints if I paid for them but they said that they could only do it if I reported the crime. (It's not the first time money has gone missing and I need to know who is taking it!) I was advised to confront the kids which I have done but both deny taking the money. The boy is my partners' and the girl is mine and studying in order to be a barrister. Although my partner says he loves me, I don't believe I will have his full backing if I report the crime and it turns out to be his son. I am very strong willed and if it comes to it I will report it, come what may! At the moment, I feel like the bad guy instead of the victim of crime. Please help me!!!! I had a best friend that I used to talk to about difficult situations but he died in June and there is no one else that is impartial to talk to.

Answer 1

If you find out it is your daughter or your partner's son, I don't think it is in the best interests of your family unit to report him or her to the police.

While you may see it as a "lesson taught", I think there would be better ways to teach a family member a lesson than giving a loved one a crimial record.

Just my humble opinion

Answer 2

It sounds like the situation is two-fold and must be dealt with in the right order. first you must get to the bottom of your partners beliefs. Would he want his son to do things like this and hide it from the world as if he were OK on the inside? Does he feel his son can do no wrong? Level the playing field here and see if he likes the idea of his son doing evil things. After you get your partner on board, then confront the son without being timid. Put your cards on the table and make the son look at the evidence against him. This son needs to woken out of a bad dream, so shock him. Now the other matter is this. Stealing usually means that the funds are being used for no good reason, such as food, clothes, charity, etc. You must find out where the money is going and you will find out something else about the son.

Answer 3

I would ask your partner to report it as a crime, if they did it then if it was their son you would not hold all the blame of reporting him.
I think this is the fairest solution and also if it was a burglar of some kind you may help the police get them!

Don't feel guilty you have done nothing wrong.

I hope you find a new friend to talk to. Although we can not replace those we love we can find others to fill in for them when they are not around.

I hope this goes well for you. Have a great day!

Answer 4

£200 is a lot of money to be "missing" and when a teenager is involved it's even worse! By you going to the police and giving them (or 1 of them) a criminal record, you will be splitting your family apart and nothing good will come out of it. If I were you, I'd put one of those little cameras and a few pounds here and there, once you have proof of who's doing it, find out what the money is used for and confront him/her with an open mind and hand to offer if it's needed.
There are lots of pressures on teenagers nowadays and it is very easy to go the wrong way. The only way we can help them is by showing them we know what they've done wrong, what would happen if they don't change, how they can avoid the wrongs and giving them the support and love they need, not the finger of judgement.

Answer 5

Why don't you make an appointment with a Community Psychiatric Nurse at your local health centre, contact Samaratins, talk to a Minister of your Church, Social Worker. You need unbiased information about what to do next. I think the crux of this problem is your relationship with your man. Look at it objectively, and decide for yourself, as you are a strong person you won't be surprised what you realise. Good luck - trust your own.

Answer 6

I wouldn't report it to the police as it would end up effecting your relationshipwith your partner and with the children, especially if it goes on your partners sons or your daughters record and affects there careers. I would remember that at that age they're not perfect or properly grown up yet, be stern on both of them and try not to put blame on either without proof. I would speak to them both, explain that it's not on and if you find out who it is then they're in big trouble. It may be a scare they need nothing more, you could be laughing about this with them in a few years time.

Answer 7

You should talk to your partner first. Explain to him that its not the money its the fact that a family member is stealing. Ask him to support you with this investiagtion. And if it turns out to be his child you will both work together to find out why, he is stealing the money. Maybe he's in trouble and needs help. Try to make some godd out of all this. If the boy is stealing he needs to be taught the difference between right and wrong, and you both can work together to do that.

Answer 8

you're able to desire to plot a trick question or sure catch subject. One is which you will get invisible ink from a keep and positioned it on the two the money or the jar. At supper time whilst everybody is ingesting you are able to excuse your self and then at as quickly as turn of the lights leaving everybody on the hours of darkness. at a similar time as the suspense is transforming into you are able to whip out a uv torch. Very cloak and dagger!!! The criminal could have dye on their palms. yet another is to pass the region of the jar. shop in mind which of the youngsters swiftly have lost products and are randomly looking the completed homestead for them. the different trick could be to place a random quantity back in the jar. something like 157. whilst it is going lacking make a "phonecall" to the police. it would desire to be the conversing clock for all they comprehend! you should confirm which you're making an exceptionally enormous deal approximately phoning the police and how you're incredibly bored to death with this. you should additionally blame the neighbour for result and fabricate a ludicrous tale approximately how this neighbour would have stolen the money. at a similar time as this very 'loud' unique plot is going on over the telephone you yell out that 234 kilos grew to become into stolen. Whoever the criminal is would be guaranteed to make a slip up by ability of blurting something out like 'no it wasn't' or 'coughing'. no depend if this is not a directly reaction they are going to quickly be asking many questions. If all else fails seek for which toddler is figuring out to purchase new products of clothing , video games, cd's. perhaps certainly one of them has a issue and are having to pay somebody off. attempt putting around the factors they visit on weekends. unseen of course, and dig around!!! solid success!!

Answer 9

I realize you are mad and hurt, things get sticky if your man won't back you, makes your humiliation worse. There really isn't much you can do even if you have proof. I knew my son stole from me once (possibly more), I did confront him & he denied it. It is a very hard thing to swallow but if you put the law on them it will ruin your relationships with all of them. My son was running with a"bad crowd". I went to counciling to learn how to handle him, he went as well. It did help a little. He's grown with children of his own, he's ashamed of how he treated me. We have a good relationship.

Answer 10

i would say to them both, i don't know which of you did it but if you don't own up within the next few days i will make a full report of theft to the police.
If you own up now the police will not be involved but you will be in serious trouble with me, if you choose not to own up then i will press for the most serious penalty from the police and this will affect you a lot more in the long run.
criminal record for life versus a severe ticking off, loss of privileges and a lengthy grounding period. it's your choice!