Me and my bf have been together for years (nearly 7) now and we have just brought a house together, we are planning on starting a family soon, (ttc now) and im having a lot of ppl say that its wrong and we should get married before we have children, but I know my bf is not the romantic type and I know he wont pop the question unless I ask but that’s not really romantic so, I was thinking is it bad luck or even just wrong for me to ask him?
I mean like I would make it a special occasion and not just ask him but I just want to know what some others think?
2006-11-09 11:02:13 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think i should have elaberabted more, we have just brought a house together, so we havent lived together as such, (although i do stay at his house more offen then mine) and its not about it being legal i just think for the childs sack and i find it to be nice. I understand that there are alot of partners that are not married ant thats fine. The other reason he would have poped the question a few years ago would be i was underage then so it wouldnt have been legal then either... thank you again for all your answers
2006-11-09 11:34:38 · update #1
with the ring question i would get him one and i guess maybe get myself one im not so fussed about the for me but for him yes.. but i know him and if i was to pop the question and give him a ring he would in turn go out and buy me one so yeh im not really worried about that... thank you so much for all your good answers.
2006-11-09 13:29:40 · update #2
I think you can do whatever you want to do! If your boyfriend loves you enough to get a house with you and have children he obviously is ready to make a commitment to you. If you really want him to propose you could mention something about weddings or weddings rings and see how he reacts. Theres nothing wrong with asking him!! GO FOR IT!! YAY!! Good Luck!!
2006-11-09 11:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking your bf on why you think you two should get married. I mean, better question, do you really want to get married? I mean, you want kids, but is that wanting kids means you have to legally get married? There are a lot of couples out there who are not married, lives in the same home and have children and there is nothing wrong with that. I am thinking that the people you are talking to are thinking that you have to get married in order to start having any children. in a perfect world, maybe, but, this is not a perfect world we live in. do you know how many people are out there who the product of an unmarried union? It is more than you think. A lot more. You already bought a home together, meaning both of your names is on it. And, when you have a baby, his name is going to be on that birth certificate. Does that makes you less of a mother? Of a woman? Of anything if you do not marry this guy? Your relationship lasted longer then most people who were married. If you feel that you want a special occasion, why not get matching rings? Everything close to getting married-without the actual marriage.
Sometimes, my dear, if you listen to everyone else on what you should do instead of listenting to your gut feelings and weigh all the circumstances, then, you would not have had a long relationship like you do now.
So, enjoy your new home and live your life as happily as you can. Don't talk to so many "people" about your happiness. But, do what you want.
2006-11-09 11:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have been living together this long I think that you may have discussed the fact at one time or another of actually making it legal. After you have been living together for that amount of time you are considered married in the common law sense. I think that perhaps your boyfriend is just looking for a little encouragement and that may be in the form of you popping the question. No it is not bad luck for you to ask him Good luck and God Bless.
2006-11-09 11:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, you are probably already married in your state if you've been living together for most of that time.
Face it, he's not going to ask you. Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? You're going to have to ask him.
I didn't ask my wife to marry me. We were friends for a few months. One day she wrote me a note that in essence said that she liked me as more than just friends and she'd like to take it to the next step. So we started dating. After about 3 weeks of dating, she announced to me that she though we were "supposed to be together". I was pretty young and shy and kind of blown away that someone wanted to be with me. I agreed that we could get married and so the planning began. It can work. You don't need the fancy wedding, a proposal on one knee, blah, blah, blah. But I think if you're planning basically what amounts to a married future together......it is in YOUR best interest to make it official. Legally and otherwise. Get to gettin'.......
2006-11-09 11:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is okay for a girl to propose marriage to a guy. Two of my friends have. One of them did it while out at the bar. she knew the bartender so she had a ring put on a rubberband and placed around his drink, kinda like a wine charm but for a beer bottle then she asked as he pondered what a ring was doing hanging from his bottle... I don't know I thought it was sweet, but you'd have to know the couple. Go for it or leave subtle hints to help him know what you find romantic so that he can put something together...
2006-11-09 11:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by yasblat54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in no way, adult males decide to do the pursuing, whilst a woman comes on too sturdy, exceedingly a concept of marriage, it is an entire turn off ! If a woman proposed to me, i could run any incorrect way !
2016-10-21 13:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be kind of cute! there's nothing "wrong" with it. people just generally think of the man asking. however if he is not the romnatic type and you can't see him asking you any time in the future, go right ahead and ask!! maybe have a little picnic at a special place and ask him there!
the only problem i can think of would be the ring...would you give him one, or he you? or both!
2006-11-09 11:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by Duelen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after seven Lucky year's...Plus... Asking the question ..so close to one's heart.... should come sooner or later from you..as your bf..may be the kind shy type to ask...but starting a family on the right footing..and buying a home does show he cares about you much..!!. Good Luck have an awesome day.!!.
2006-11-09 11:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by david 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's "wrong". I think you should take him out for a nice dinner and talk openly to him about your feelings. Tell him you would like the committment of marriage especially if you hope to start a family, etc. I think talking openly with him about your feelings make take you to this anyway... good luck. :)
2006-11-09 11:11:20 · answer #9 · answered by bluecat3636 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong; it's all about what you're comfortable with. My husband and I are not "romantic", and he never "proposed" - we simply decided to get married, and started planning for the wedding. If you want to get married - just tell him you want to, that's all. Ask to set a date, and start planning. If you don't want to get married - who cares what "people" say; you live your life, and they live theirs.
2006-11-09 11:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋