My boyfriend of two years recently took a job that required him to move to another state for 12 weeks. Since he has been gone I have been searching high and low trying to figure out why I have this feeling that he is cheating on me. I recently discoved that he has been chatting on line with transgender people (men that dress,act, and look like women). The problem is that now I feel like he is gay but because I am not suppose to know about this information, I am not sure how to approach him about it. He will be coming home soon and we live together but I can't imagine having sex with him let alone look at him with a strait face. I need a way to get him to confess. I have been trying to figure out his email password so that I could find out more but I have not had any look. Someone please help me!!!!!!!
2006-11-09 10:38:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Short and sweet answer:
If you can't live with the thought that your boyfriend is not honest with you, that you feel confident he may be cheating on you and/or that you feel he may be a closeted gay/transgendered man, you have already made up your mind you don't want him.
Pack your bag and move out before he gets home.
And don't hate him for what he is. Be glad you discovered it now and not later when your relationship may have developed over several years.
2006-11-09 16:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by christrivan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow!.. this is pretty heavy! Let me reread this here.. Yeah, you DO have a problem, hon. I think tho (and I'm older.. 53/F) a lot of it's not that he's into this stuff.. I think it is just curiosity. I don't know you tho.. do you consider it cheating to do this stuff? You said you didn't want him coming onto you (or..you can't keep a straight face, that was it) IF he's cheating. Would it bother you if he does love you BUT talks to these friends? Is that cheating? I guess this is what you need to sort out. Yeah, he did it.. (no doubt there, from the sounds of it..) BUT, does it really bother you? Me, personally? I wouldn't care.. (but hell, I'm older and my husband's an impotent pain in the butt.. I'd be thrilled if he was interested in anything and anyone! lmao.. meant there was hope somewheres down the line for me, man!) DO you think you can handle it, finding the e mail password (he might get all pissed off about that one.. a lotta people would)?? Just assume he IS doing it for now, like I said, work with that idea. (One thing at a time.. don't want to be overwhelmed here.) You kind of plan on overwhelming HIM ya know.. (dumping all this on him.. is that really fair of you?) you really hooked on this guy? I am thinking from the sounds of it, you guys are kind of 'so-so' with one another..(Frankly, I think ya 2 ought to call it quits.. ) peace n luv
2006-11-09 10:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not fun, sorry to hear of it. However, I think you are jumping to conclusions to think that he may be cheating on you or gay. It's very possible he may just have some transvestite fantasies and be speaking to people who do a bit of gender bending. If you've got a good sex life, the odds are he's not gay, but there is something kinky going on in his head. It's important to remember that there are lots of completely straight men who get off on dressing up as women.
You may have a boyfriend who would really like to play gender swapping games with with you, or something like that. Or he may just be entertained by the whole show that drag queens put on. Once you start learning about all the various kinks that people have, it can be as fascinating as any freak show.
You definitely need to talk about this. Sit down and talk seriously and try not to flip out. Give him a chance to explain before making any decisions. Who knows, you may find out you have a few kinks of your own!
2006-11-09 11:00:15 · answer #3 · answered by Celtic Rebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know, you should create an online name in the transgender chat room he is in. Pretend to be a transgender that is interested in him, get all the information out of him about his sexual preferences. You have to be real sneaky about, create another email account, find pictures of a good looking woman, who could pass for men, etc. From that you should get all your information straight from the horse's mouth. If he is into the transgender thing than you will know for sure, and you save and print that information. When he comes home, you can either tell you have had a change of heart or throw the information you found online about him in his face.
2006-11-09 10:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by Linda J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's some heavy stuff. I wouldn't let on that you know anything, but you may want to tell him that you're feelings insecure about the relationship since he's been gone. I'm sure that might be a turn off for some guys when they hear that, but you gotta be honest. Try not to push the situation and make him confess to something that may not be true at all. I hope that all goes well.
2006-11-09 10:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by *mxgirl115* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you are going to find anything out is by asking him for the truth. I f you have a feeling that hes cheating on you then he probably is. Wow i feel bad for you,,,,i cant imagine finding that out about my man. If i did i would be gone from him forever. Thats just gross,,and yes i would definatley call him gay.
2006-11-09 10:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he himself is transgendered and he is talking to these other people to help himself to understand his predicament. I would play with him a bit and get him to try on some of your clothes or play with makeup and or nail polish and see how he reacts. Perhaps the reason you think he might be cheating is that he is keeping this part of his life secret and he feels guilty about keeping the secret and being transgendered.
Jayma
2006-11-09 11:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-10 06:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by fechter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is confront him, this is your life you are talking about, so you want answers, and you should demand them! Tell him that the two of you need a heart to heart talk, and you want him to put every thing on the table, no matter how it may hurt. And do not be afraid to ask him questions! Tell him to be honest with you! I hope it all works out for you!
2006-11-09 10:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! If you truly feel this way, then I would pack my stuff and get out before he gets home. If you have found little things like his chat areas and stuff, and if you couldn't imagine yourself having sex with him, then just get out. If you want to confront him, then you should just come out and tell him that you found out he was chatting in these rooms and you want to know the truth.
2006-11-09 10:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋