There seems to be something going on between me and a co-worker in terms of some things that might need to be aired between the two of us. Last week she told me that i seem to be leading a double life and I asked her what she meant by that, she told me that sometimes I put distance between her when it comes to socializing outside the job. My life story with her has always been an open book with her, but I have learned the hard way to not mix business with pleasure and to keep my personal business separate from the job. Does she have an attitude because I don't tell her every detail of my life anymore?
2006-11-09 08:55:34 · 11 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have gotten into a situation with her before regarding sharing me business. When she gets upset at me at work, she calls all the other girls we hung out with and talks about me.
2006-11-09 09:02:29 · update #1
I guess she does. But why do your coworkers need to know so much? It's not of her business, and her trying to manipulate you into sharing everything is weird.
2006-11-09 08:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For someone who separates their business and their personal life, it seems your open book policy with her is in need of revision. Anymore? Meaning you once did? And socializing outside the job? I'm confused. Are you working with this lady or were you dating her at one time and its now cooled? If you are simply co-workers, your private life is private only as long as YOU KEEP IT PRIVATE. Once you put it out there, its not private anymore, its public. If you have found that she was not to be trusted and hence the reason you are no longer handing out information, do not engage her any further. You owe no one an explanation of what or why. But if you must, be plain and simple with something nuetral, but effective like "Its not a double life, I just learned that keeping my personal business private is much more important these days as some feel my private life is their business when it is not" and leave the room. She will get the hint and that, hopefully will end it. Ann Landers used to use this one a lot when someone would ask for personal information by looking them directly in the eye and saying "Now why would you want to know that?" and leaving the room. In other words, "you're getting no more from me and its NOYB". You owe someone who talks about you to others when they are mad at you NO EXPALANATION! Sounds to me as if you have wisely started to put distance between you and this girl. Good luck!
2006-11-09 17:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from your description, it sounds like she came to know you as more than a co-woriker, if not a friend. Then at some point, you became cautious of being friends with co-workers, a sentiment that she might not share. Now, she is left wondering as to the reason for the absence of your socialness.
Have you told her your feelings about this? I think I would be upset too if a friend stopped speaking to me without explanation.
2006-11-09 17:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by volleyjacket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably. She just needs to get over herself and realize that ya'll ain't cool like that to know everything about you and that you don't feel comfortable sharing those details with her anymore.
2006-11-09 16:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me work is work and your life out of work needs to stay that way if not u can get into trouble that is something u don't want at work if she can not respect that then she needs to go
2006-11-09 17:00:30 · answer #5 · answered by baby_lovenm69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just communicate a bit more and if that doesn't help, try councelling... thereafter, the only way left is- bidding goodbye.
2006-11-09 17:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by King of Hearts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she has an attitude!
2006-11-09 16:57:57 · answer #7 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to mind her own business and you wont be minding yours
2006-11-09 16:58:26 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably likes you
2006-11-09 16:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by Sara S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...tell her to bugger off.
2006-11-09 16:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋