The difficulties bieng my ex has involved social services and had my new wife's children interviewd by social services, clearly after this my new wife is anti my daughter comming to spend time with us, this is tearing me apart as i love my daughter and love my new family, please help
2006-11-09 08:50:54 · 16 answers · asked by andrew s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to tell tyour wife that your daughter is a part of you and anything apart of yu is family. If she cant accept that then why did she marry you. You have accepted her family and she needs to accept yours. You dont worry everything will work out in do time you just dont let that new wife keep you from YOUR FLESH IN BLOOD!!!!
2006-11-09 08:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by homie_j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a famiily meeting... when your daughter is there. And explain the way it's gonna be to your daughter in front of your wife. The step childrenn don't need to be involved so much, as do your wife and Daughter. make up your mind what you are gonna say and sit your daughter down and get to the bottom of this, before you lose your wife over it. Your daughter might not be very happy with the end results, but, she'll get over it. If things are really bad with the daughter and the wife, I'd hide a tape recorder and when a dispute comes up over what was said, then get out the tape and play it. Good Luck, I'd hate to be in your shoes.
2006-11-09 08:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your new wife , knew that you had a daughter and that matters could get complicated. you can not afford to shut out your daughter as it will hurt both ofyou in the long run.
my friend had a stepson who made her blood boil,(personally he was not a bad kid) , i think it had to do with insecurities that he may be more important or take away from her and the father's children.
i pointed out to her that the boy ,like most children wants and needs to be accepted and that even if she never feels as loving towards him as her own children , that she should respect the fact that her husband has not abandoned his child from a previous relationship. personally i would not have much respect for a man who could do that, i would rather make an effort to be civil to the child concerned. remember that step siblings are also watching, and as a mother can she really justify her childish behaviour.,especially as the child only visits your home . you have taken hers in with open arms .
having social services in ,is a bit worrying and i suppose it would annoy me too, but not too much if i am not guilty of something.
you will need to compromise,as obviously she cannot expect you to cut off all communication, once again she would not like to be asked that about her own children. perhaps the kind social services ,who are meant to help families can step in and help with some kind of counselling. good luck on a rather shaky road.
2006-11-09 23:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by saywot? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just this last couple of months had the same problem........I walked away because MINE and HIS kids come first and im not willing to play with a CHILDS mind who has no fault in the situation because of some nuerotic ex wife who goes to the extent of calling my home and hanging up if he dont answer and other stuff you would not believe. I pray every night that her chickens will turn into emus and kick down her toilet but i wont be revengeful it takes away my time with my kids and shes not worth it. If your new wife loves you enough she will at least put some effort into your daughter and giv it a go but please dont you dare close your daughter out it will be something you will regret for the rest of your life......Do not leave your daughter alone with your new wife when she comes to visit for anything to start that may get blown out of proportion.She will need your support...good luck
2006-11-09 09:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time. you made a decision to have this new family so be respectful of them as well. how about setting up a planner were you start slowly about spending one hour a week or whatever with your daughter at a public place until your wife feels more comfortable with this transition. talk it over or any ideas with your new wife. Remember she is your new wife and what she says should be important in the matter. Maybe youtwo will find the middle ground on this issue.
2006-11-09 08:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should get a mediator involved from the social services department. you ex might be jealous of the relationship you have with your step kids, and is putting bad things in your daughters head. but on the other hand, if your new wife doesnt understand that you daughter is you first responsibility, then there is a problem in that area also. your daughter needs you just the way her kids need their father.
2006-11-09 08:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by tsd574 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are between a rock and a hard place right now...tough question...why did your ex have social services involved with your new family? did she do it deliberately? i cant get onto the fact that your new wife wont allow your daughter over there, she married you, so therefore she should accept your little girl....things seem pretty messy where you are....all you can do is reason with them both in order to have access to your daughter...this seems like an adult fight but the kids are getting dragged into it...that's not fair...you have to control these women before you go insane...
2006-11-09 08:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remind this new wife of yours that you do have a daughter and you love her, and she is and will be a part of your life!!
You also have to remind her, that your daughter is a child for heavens sakes! She's the adult. She needs to start acting like one.
IF you allow her to wear the pants and be against your daughter, your not being much of a father to let it happen.
You have enough love to go around, and remind her of this too.
Do you think the new wife would like for you to spend only half the holiday with her and her's and the other with your daughter some place else? I bet NOT.
2006-11-09 08:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear time will heal all...................... Talk it through and don't give your ex wife the satisfaction of splitting you all up. You daughter will come through in the end, but remember your Daughter in all this and how she must be feeling. Don't push her out she is YOUR flesh and blood. Be a Daddy as well as a Father. Remember the kids in all this stupid ****. My ex H is a real **** and does not see his Daughter. Good luck and keep notes of everything said you may need it someday.
2006-11-09 08:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While your daughter is not the culprit, I see where you're wife is coming from. I'm sure your daughter is heavily influenced by her mother and when she's around, you're new wife probably feels as if she's just a set of eye and ears for you're ex. Sounds like you have a viscious ex!
2006-11-09 08:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by kristieblades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋