I met a man almost two years ago. He's an extremely busy surgeon and has full custody of his child. It was lust at first sight but after a few months he told me he thought we should focus more on each other than sex all the time, I agreed but it never worked because the attraction was so strong. As time went on & he got busier, things didn't deepen emotionally, things grew father apart, not because of me either. Long story short, I want a real relationship and he says "he can't give me what I want" is that a male line or something? BUT he can never let me go. I've asked him to define what I am to him and he won't but says we're more than friends. We have talked for the last year and have gone on several dates but HAVE NOT slept together-him proving to me he isn't just after sex w/me. If he doesn't hear from me he always texts me to make sure I'm still there. He admits to dating others, as I do. Says he's to busy but wishes he could see me. I'm just confused, does he want me or not?
2006-11-09 08:36:31 · 8 answers · asked by BJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He can't give you what you want because he doesn't care enough about you to try. It's not a line, he's telling you the truth. He dates other women, is not emotionally connected to you and is busy with his own life. Why don't you take control of your own life, instead of waiting for him to tell you what to do, and move on. He's just not that into you, but he enjoys the little puppy-dog loyalty you offer. So to answer your question: no, he doesn't want you. That's not how a man in love behaves, it's how a man who doesn't really care behaves.
2006-11-09 08:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk about his children, find out what's up in that department. Why does he have kids but not a wife (you probably already know this)? The long answer can tell you more about him and show you his reasoning for this course of action or his motives. "I can't give you what you want." is a difficult phrase to comprehend... I think he's just showing you a way in. He might want to see how much you want to be with him i.e. even though he can't give you everything he should be able to. Or he might really think of your relationship like: good friends with benefits (which I think is sadly lame). I hope he just is indecisive because of a previously failed relationship that he thinks is his fault and dos't want the same to happen with you. You NEED to talk with him alone for a good while aout his feelings - you need to encourage him to advance the relationship. You might try consulting a counselor about your situation and see if you can get some better advice. Also, even though he's busy, try to get him to go with you so he can share his thoughts on the matter.
All things said and done, I think he wants you; but I not the best at deducing a situation involving true love...
Best wishes for your future ;)
2006-11-09 16:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by teh_popezorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm... sounds like the typical "he's just not THAT into you". Its plain and simple, if the man really wanted to be with you, he would make time for you instead of saying hes too busy. Yes, he probably does like your company, and because he knows you will always be there whenever he calls or texts he wants to keep you around. BUT.. even though I dont know you, I know that you deserve better. You deserve someone giving you their 100%. Leave him now.. if you really are dating other people, then good for you, because this guy doesnt deserve another moment of your time. You will find someone so much better in no time, i assure you. Good luck!
2006-11-09 16:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by Zoy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here's a secret about men that most men won't share. We will treat you as badly as you let us. IF you will continue to hang on hoping for more, he will let you. A few text messages are an easy way to keep you hanging. If you want more, you have to put your foot down and demand it and be willing to move on if he says no. It may mean blocking his phone calls and texts. ITs a matter of wills. He will try to get you back to where you were. Its your life, you either live it by your terms or someone else's.
2006-11-09 16:45:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants you, but on HIS terms. It's the classic male game, and it's up to you whether you want to play along. If you want a relationship, then you should move on because it's clear he's not going to give that to you. It depends on how much you like him and if you're willing to give up what YOU want to give him what HE wants.
I've been there and it's hard to walk away, but it's the right thing for you and you have to look out for yourself because he's not going to do it for you. Also, if you tell him that he can't give you what you want, he could change his tune, but don't bet on it. Good luck!!
2006-11-09 16:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by atxtallchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that since he has time to date others and no time to develop a real relationship with you, that he's not wanting a real relationship. Dump him. You don't need to waste your time on stuff like that. You deserve happiness, don't be waiting around for something that isn't likely to happen.
2006-11-09 16:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's a playa and just keeping you on a tight leash. If he's able to date other people then that means he's not too busy. Please have more respect for yourself and move on. He's not gonna give you that real relationship that you want and he's already told you that. Don't keep giving your heart to this guy.
2006-11-09 16:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must understand that he wants a serious relationship with u .... yes that is a boys line.. tht is always what i hav said to my gf... i love her frm all my heart but i m scared to admit it .. so i jus tell her tht v r mmore than jus frnds.. only person hu has gone through a lot of emotional troubles will tell his gf tht life isn't all 'bout sex.. he wants the relationship to be attached emotionally rather than just sex... trust me.. he wants a pure love relationship with u and tht's y he cares abt u.. his love 4 u is beyond words and tht's y he always wants to b wit u ...but its jus tht his wrk doesn't allow it.. continue this relationship and i bet u guyz wud end up marrying each other.. another thign is tht .. mayb he wants to marry u... the thing with relationships are tht after sex.. they break up.. mayb he doesn't want tht frm u and tht's y he's ensuring u guyz wudn't hav it early.. a relationship shudn't b all abt sex.. sex is jus a part of it.. i understnad ur feelings but jus wait 4 the rite moment ... gud luk!!! :D
2006-11-09 16:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by prabhat v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋