My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I am 23 and he is 25. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and everyday I think about how I am so happy to call him my husband. We are now trying to conceive our first baby and are so happy to be adding to our family.
The problem is people constantly feel the need to tell me I am stupid for marrying so young and even stupider to have a child at 23/24 years old. They think because I am young I will be bad mom, end up divorced or on welfare. Apparently 23 is like being 16 now a days.
Its so uncalled for because we own a home, have great careers and have college educations and we have enough money to have several children. Plus we are very happy together!
I hear a lot that I am naive and unmotivated for wanted to be a wife and mother before I turn 30. People are anti-marriage and children unless you are 30+!
How can I grow a solid backbone and stop being so sensitive when I am 100% happy with my life
2006-11-09 08:35:08 · 22 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Let me start by saying. I am 26 I have been married for several years, have a 3 year old & one more on the way. I am totally happy. I look at most of my friends who are my age who are still single trying to find the right person to settle down w/. I am so thankful to not being going through what they are. People who are negetive about your situation are jealous! Let me know this is who you are & you are living your dream. There is nothing wrong w/ the path you are taking. More Power to You!! Good Luck!
2006-11-09 08:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by jae4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say you are not alone. I am 21 have been married to my great husband( who is 23) for 3 yrs and have been together for 5 years we have a 2.5 yr old and a 1 mth old. Being a young mother and wife can be difficult at times. my husband has a 10 hr a day job and college 3 days a week not to mention he is in the national guard and has drill once a month so our time is limited. It can be stressfull and tiresome BUT i would not change anything for the world.
I dont know what to say exactly about you being too sensitive all i can say is tell people this is your decision and your are happy about it. Tell them you know it can be challenging but that is one of the things about life you have to get over bc if your afraid of a challenge then how can you make it through life.
Being a mother is one of the best feelings in the world so dont let anyone try to deprive you and your husband of this miracle feeling, that lets face it, not every couple gets to achieve.
Also i just want to add that my husband was in iraq the first year we were married and he was not home when our first son was born it was very difficult. I just wanted to say that just because you are young does not mean you will be a bad mother my best friend will turn 19 in 2 days and she has a 4 mth old daughter and her and her boyfriend are very happy and good parents if i might add so for someone to tell you that you will be a bad mother because of your young age is like telling you that if you wait until your 40 to have a baby you will be a bad mother so i ask you what is the best age to have a baby. I think only you know when you are ready and no one else!
2006-11-12 22:23:17 · answer #2 · answered by mandy g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the wonderful marriage and the coming baby! I got married when I was twenty and divorced when I was 23 and then married when I was 24 and now I am having my second child with my second husband. Unfortunatly people are pessimistic and critical about marriage because marriage doesn't seem to last like it did a few decades ago. With new factors like both the man and the wife working and kids going to daycare and equality in marriages, people feel that this is to much for people under thirty to handle. But they aren't always right. There are some people who can handle all those things, like you and your husband and others who need some work like me... lol. Don't take their comments as insulting its not a slight against you and your husband its a stereotype and also a statistic. Most marriages of people our age fail but not all of them. The people who keep saying these things to you just don't know how to properly word that they are concerned for you and that they want you to be happy and they think that by getting married so young you will end up divorced raising two kids and hoping to actually get child support from an unsupportive ex-husband. When they say these things just say to them thank you for you concern its appreciated and I will take into account what you have said. They have every right to be wrong! Good luck and don't become pessimistic with those around you. With God in your marriage you will last and be happy together.
2006-11-09 16:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going through this situation is what gives you a backbone. Don't beat yourself up. People aren't born strong, they are made strong. God puts us through trial to make us stronger.
If you feel that you must respond, just remember to do in love. Tell them that you appreciate the advice and you know they mean well. Then remind them that you are an adult and you've been married longer than a lot of people's marriages last. This decision is best made between a wife and her husband.
Also, it is okay fr you to admit that you have some reservations. Anyone contemplating bearing children should consider things that could go wrong. However, age doesn't automatically make it more likely that your marriage will last or you'll be a better parent. I'm sure there are a lot of examples around you to disprove that theory. The only thing age does is make you an older parent.
2006-11-09 17:02:29 · answer #4 · answered by 10timesalady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 and have been married for 3 years and I heard and still hear the same things. People just need to mind their own damn business, and stay out of yours. My husband and I are very happy and have a 16 month old. and as far as I am concerned I am a better mother than some 30 year olds. Just say screw em' and be happy with what you have and ignore them
2006-11-09 17:02:05 · answer #5 · answered by sallymollyap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a sad world out there, and a lot of unhappy people. If you feel your with the right guy....i think your at the perfect age. I met my husband when i was 24...married at 27...started kids at 28..i am 31 and due anytime with #3. We are sooo happy!!!! You dont have to prove anythign to anybody. If you guys are happy...to hell with the rest of them. With the going trends now adays....23 does seem young....but if i met my husband earlier, we would have started our lives earlier. If your where you want to be..then hold your head high, and be thankful your not one of the miserable synics out there!!! Remember, when the baby comes to make sure, you find a way to keep hubby #1!!! at first it is hard, cause you want to be a great mom, but a great mom knows how to be a great wife first!!!!
good luck, i am happy for you!
2006-11-09 16:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by bangbanks72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got married when i was 17 had 2 kids by the time i was 20, 2 more in my 20s everyone said we were 2 young, that was 30 years ago.age is no guarentee of a sucessful relationship.you are
already off to a good start with a home and good jobs.you dont want to be too old when u start having kids.think of the generation gap.i was a grandmother at 36 i sure wouldnt want to be having babies of my own at that age.
2006-11-10 06:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by kim m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not gonna believe this but Iam married to a wonderful man. we have been together for 5 years and married for 3 years. We have 2 children one whos gonna turn 3 in december and a 9 month old baby!!! I love my life and we are stable with really good income and our own home!!! Iam only 19. Enjoy Life. Forget about other. Focus on what you want, afterall its YOUR LIFE.
2006-11-09 16:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by adayatatime 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I'm so happy for you guys. it's so wonderful to hear in to days world that someones happily married because marriages just doesn't last anymore .
i too was married when i was 22 n had my baby when i was 25 and its the most beautiful thing you know to have a baby and with a person whom you love the most. i was badly ill through out my pregnancy and people kept telling me my baby will be abnormal though the scan never detected that yet you can't shut any body's mouth but i had faith a strong belief that God won't do that because i have never done bad for anybody in my life. when i delivered my baby was healthy and beautiful i saw my husband holding her in his arms and i prayed to god "that's what i always wanted " it's so beautiful to see your baby in your husbands arms it's like that's what all beauty is ...now i just desire whenever i die i want to die in those arms watching my beautiful baby girl because my life is not my own its for my husband and my daughter. i want to end it with them around.
you know i would say let people talk SMILE and never reply back i think they'll get their answers pretty soon because God's watching.....all the best for you two and be sure to take good care of the third....
2006-11-09 18:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by t_k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say kudos to you! It seems at though you have answered your own question. Who cares what others say. You know what you have is wonderful, sacred, and cannot be easily replaced. Opinions are just that, opinions. Don't ever feel bad for what you've been blessed with and especially now that you've decided to add to your already awesome life.
Sometimes those that have negative things to say either secretly wish that they had the same thing, or aren't currently happy in their own situation that they make others miserable.
I know it's easier said than done, but you never have to explain yourself to others. Enjoy your life, as you seem to already be doing, and have fun trying to conceive!
I wish all of the best to you.
2006-11-09 16:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by Dianna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋