I want to become a surrogate mother...?

Question

I have 2 children at home, and I enjoy to the fullest having babies, and giving birth. But do not want to have a bunch of kids running around! My husband does not understand why I want to do this. I guess I would like to hear from women who have done this. Or women who want to do this. Even women who are unable to bear childern themselves and looking into it from the other point of view. Or even if some men would give me there view point on the subject. If they wife has done it, or is considering it. Or even why people think it is right or wrong. Thanks y'all

I have been through all of the research, have my appointment to see a doctor, I have had serveral married couples look into my profile. It is all about me now, and my family. My kids are 4 years and 9 months, they would never understand. My husband thinks I am wanting to be pregnant with some other mans child, but he doesn't see whol real reasoning behind it. Only what he wants to think, no matter what the honest facts are. I am going to be caring someone elses baby completely as well. I think that is all the extra information that I can think of at this moment.

I am 21 years old actualy, I had my son at 16, and my daughter at 20. And I would honestly love to do this until I either decied in 5 years to have another one of my own. Or until I am tired of being pregnant, and having babies. I know that kinds sounds bad, but I don't know it is how I feel.

Answer 1

i just want to say first that just because you love being pregnant is not a reason to undergo surrogacy. if that's one of your reasons, then maybe you need to reevaluate somethings in your life. also, please consider the needs of the future child. let me leave with you something a friend told me:

Surrogacy is NEVER in the best interests of the person who is created in these circumstances.

How can it be anything other than damaging for a newborn baby to be separated after birth from the only person it knows..it's mother?!? Nature does not intend that a child be taken from its mother within minutes, hours, days or weeks of its birth. This is the critical time of "bonding"; the very foundation-stone of physical and emotional wellbeing in the life of the human child.

Sometimes, through death, abandonment (or adoption)....a child loses its mother. Hopefully its father is able to protect and nurture it...with support from family and friends. A newborn child, (whose mother has died or disappeared), is vulnerable and grieving for its profound loss. I would recommend that you read Nancy Verrier's work "The Primal Wound" for a deeper understanding of the effects of separation on mother and baby.

It is becoming increasingly acceptable to "create" a child through IVF surrogacy arrangements. This requires two women to contribute/participate in the child's conception through ova donation and gestational surrogacy. Perhaps people who embark on this process believe that a child will not experience loss because neither the genetic nor gestational mother are
"wholly" connected to the child. I think that a child created in these circumstances will feel a very deep sense of loss that it does not have a "whole" mother in its life.

Do read Nancy Verrier......she will illuminate your way as you ponder these profoundly important issues

Answer 2

I understand completely! I offered to do it for my siblings if they weren't able to conceive. This was before and after I had both of my own children. I did not want to donate my eggs, but I would have carried an implanted fertilized egg.

As far as actually being able to do it, age and health are the #1 factors. Before that, there's a few other things to consider. Are you going to supply eggs or only carry fertilized eggs. You also have to remember you'll be carrying someone's child and they will want to have as much input/contact with you as possible to get the gestation bonding process. It 's pretty much a interruption on your family and will throw a monkey wrench in your marriage. Since you are married and have children of your own, you have to consider their feelings and opinions. Depending on how old your children are, they might not quite be able to grasp the giving the baby away process even after you explain it's not really yours. It can be emotionally disturbing for them. As far as your husband, it's perfectly understandable for him to not get it. He doesn't have the same urges as you do about bringing life into this world as a gift for someone who can't. It's also a "you're mine" syndrome process that they go through even when you are carrying their child. I don't want to say it's a possession thing but more like a territorial thing.

That being said, I'm not trying to sway you from doing it because I think it's an awesome thing to do for someone you don't even know. You have to weigh everything and decide what's best for your family not just your yearn to give birth again even as generous a gesture as it is. Do some research on what exactly will be required of you and share the information with your husband and kids(age appropriate). Make the decision together but don't do it unless everyone's on board. It can make or break your family.

Answer 3

Im a 14 year old. My mother has tried this. First you have to have someone who wants to have you as there surrogate. You would then discuss terms and make contract. You would start taking medication, and they would then place the embroyos inside of you. But make sure you dont have what my mother had, which is the killer gene which kills the eggs.

Answer 4

i loved being pregnant sooo much that i actually thought of doing this myself(i am single and 35 now) i don't think i could use my own eggs though i would definitely consider it using someones eggs without a doubt

Answer 5

I think it's a great thing to do but it is a big sacrifice. I suggest going through all the testing and psychological exams to see if you even qualify.