I've been with my husband for almost 18 years , we have 2 children, 16 and 11. I'm 33 and he is 37, we have not ruled it out 100%,.. i'm 95% ready to tie them ,.. but here is the thing,.. what if he turns 40 and decides he'd like another baby and i cant give him one..
2006-11-09 07:32:26 · 22 answers · asked by D.C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
When he turns 40 you will have a 19 &14 year olds so you really want to start all over, it shouldn't be to long after that, that you will be grandparents (I made my mom a grandparent when I was 21) But if you are having any doubts even 5% I would say don't do it.
2006-11-09 07:38:45 · answer #1 · answered by Who Me? 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your doctor about a reversable surgery (a clamp rather than ligation)... Also, both you and your husband should go to counseling before you get this done... as a couple AND as individuals. Don't do it until you are both 100% sure. I got a tubal ligation at age 27... non-reversable. I have never regretted the decision... but it was MY decision and I did not have a husband at the time. It did make a difference in some relationships after the fact... some guys were straightforward about wanting kids and I had to tell them they weren't gonna get it from me. But my man now agrees that he doesn't want kids either (we are both 46 now)... so it works out. I don't know why you think him turning 40 will make him want another kid... a new car maybe... but not another kid!! Men are more reluctant than women to have another baby after they others have grown up!!!
2006-11-09 07:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 28 be 29 I have two kids 11 and 8 At the time I had mine done I thought that I was ready. Although I had mine cut tied and burned. Then I met my husband and he has no kids although he KNEW that I was unable to have them he loved me for who I am. Then I decided it would be nice to give him the gift of life as well. I had to go and have a reversal to do so. Don't get me wrong I had to really think about this although I went through it! ( 24 weeks preg. ) I guess what I am trying to say although you are pretty sure you want them done set back and take your time and think about it before you do it. Like you said WHAT IF. Then if he decides no more at 40 then I agree get-r-done! BEST WISHES
2006-11-09 09:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 22 when I had my first child. I was 34 when I had my second and LAST. You also have to ask yourself. If both your children were to die in an accident are you 100% sure you wouldnt want another child. Thats how one of the nurses put it to me. I had mine tied because I am such a high risk pregnancy both my kids were premature. Daughter was born just under 24 weeks gestation, son was a month early. And my cervix wouldnt get any better and any other pregnancy I'd have the same problems I had with my other two. Its a very personal decision and if your heart your done, then have them tied.
2006-11-09 07:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're worried he'll hit some mid-life crisis at that point. For now, if that's a concern and you would like to give him another child if he want, let him know. Or ask him now if he's going to want another one. You're still young. I know this sounds horrible, but I hear alot of women wishing they could have children with a second husband. Well, what if you're in that situation. He isn't too much older than you, but the life expectancy of a man is shorter than a womans. You have alot to consider. I wish you luck!!
2006-11-09 08:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by Laura R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one should want another child after having raised two. Who would want another child to raise at 40? I would tell him to find a hobby.
I wouldn't want to get pregnant at 37 or 38 either. Remember, at that age it is a lot more difficult to get pregnant and you have maybe half the energy you had when your others were born.
If he chooses to have another one ask him if he is going to handle the night feedings, the sick nights, running to the doctor and all the other wonderful things you get to do when you have a new baby. We won't go into the expense involved. Tell him you will buy him a puppy. OR, borrow a friend's infant for two weeks and see if he still wants to start over...................
2006-11-09 07:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a decision only you can make. My son was a terrible baby, so I had my tubes tied after I had my daughter thinking all babies were bad. She is the best baby I've ever seen. I really regret doing it now. If anything, stick with birth control, or have him get a vasectomy. It's a lesser surgery and reversible.
2006-11-09 07:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're 100% sure it's the right thing to do, I wouldn't, not yet anyway. You don't want to regret it in the future. I know at our hospital here, you can't have your tubes tied unless you're either over 35 or have at least 3 kids :/
2006-11-09 07:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get them tied just yet, especially not when condoms and birth control are A LOT cheaper than surgery!! :)
It keeps the door open, and with the proper measures an "oops" baby wont happen.
2006-11-09 07:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he say he wants another child or is it your thought? Having your tubes tied is considered major surgery....why not let him get a vascectomy? Regardless of what men say, it is a simple, office procedure and can be reversed. If youv'e gone thru 2 pregnancies already, why not let him be man enough to get "snipped".
2006-11-09 07:37:05 · answer #10 · answered by US Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋