my 4 yr old having problems in preschool (maturity)?

Question

Hello . I have a 4 yr old son that just started preschool 3 weeks ago . He is a hyper child . I am having trouble and dont know what to do about him . As of yesterday he just got on a 10 day probation . If he doesnt change he will be removed from class. I am a wreck . Acedemically he seams well but behaviorally and socially he isnt. He has very good days but then very bad days . One day the teacher says he is showing signs of improvemnt the next she is ready to kick him out . He is having problems listening , following (understanding) orders and doesnt understand a no touching rule as in dont grab a childs hand and play hard . He doesnt hit. I dont think he will start kindergarden next yr cause he is way immature in school setting but dont know what to do as him learning those settings . If teachers always kick children out that need this how do they learn and what do i do . Its hard not to blame myself trying to think if I did something wrong. This will hurt him deeply

I do not spoil my child. I do not expect a teacher to take all her time out of her day just for my child. My child doesnt hit, bully, or harm a child. His playing wild means he is just hyper. I have concern since my husband is ADD. I have taught him the best that I could . My hubby travels for work and I have another baby at home as well . My child knows time out and knows when to go to his room when he is in trouble and does know the word no . I thought everyone was supposed to be supportive not bad bash a Mother, Thank you all that have been nice and that did help me

Answer 1

i teach pre k and i have had very hyper children. my class now has 2 very hyper ones, so bad that we do not have any parties that have anything sugar...we are a healthy class so everyone is benefiting. :)

is his behavior the same in all environments? does he act the same home that he does at school? does he listen better to your husband or to you or somewhere else?

can you get the teacher to break down the day into smaller pieces so that you can get an idea of when the behavior problems occur? i know that with one of mine he cannot handle free play or any unorganized activities. he is autistic and gets overstimulated.

my other child hasn't been formally diagnosed yet but his problems are during organized activities. he just cannot keep his still at all. he is very, very impulsive.

talk to your doctor about your concerns as well.

also, look into programs that your state offers. look for lab schools at colleges which offer very low child teacher ratios. it is important not to get offended when you get bad reports. work together. i am sure she is feeling very overwhelmed too.

good luck. i'll offer any help i can!

Answer 2

Poor little guy. If he's not socially mature enough, he might be better off waiting that extra year. In the meantime, perhaps set up a playgroup so he can get socialized in smaller doses.

I'm sorry, but I have more sympathy for you than advice. I've been thru this with mine. He's 8 now and we're finally out of it. I hope you get to the point some day where you suddenly realize how GOOD your son can be in school. It can be a hard journey. Hang in there and don't let ANYONE pressure you to medicate a child that young. Every preschool teacher mine had was convinced he had ADHD. If I'd medicated him, I wouldn't know now that he was capable of maturing the natural way.

Answer 3

That's too bad! I feel bad for you and him both but I think this confirms my decision to start my daughter at a nursery school at 15 months! She goes 2x a week for 4 hours a day. She's 3 now and loves going and does well.

I've seen many people on here dog out preschools and this is an example why kids NEED it.

I wish I had an answer for you.

Answer 4

I don't know what to tell you. My son's preschool told me that my son (he's 3 years old) was to immature to go to preschool because he wouldn't talk to the teacher. On he would do everything they would tell him to do, he would play with the other kids, and he would talk to the other kids but he wouldn't talk to the teacher, so I took him out. He didn't really have to go anyways. Maybe I'll try again next year, I'm not sure yet though.

Answer 5

I would contact your Dr. first. He/she can point you in the right direction to getting the help you need. There are a lot of special education programs out there that work specifically with children with behavioral problems. If your Dr. can't help then call your local Department of Human Serivices or Child Protection Services, they too have those resorces available.

Answer 6

this may sound odd because your son is so young, but most behavioral diseases start early. he could have one or both of the following:

adhd - (attention defifit hyperactive disorder) .. this basically means he has trouble controlling his emotions and can often act out and misbehave without meaning to..

odd - (oppositional defiant disorder) .. this is a behavioral problem that is more commonly seen in children, and it affects judgement.. some people call this Extreme Stubbornness but children with this disease will purposely do the OPPOSiTE of what they are asked to do. many times a child will go against their own liking just so they can do the opposite of another's.

however, luckily, nowadays the latest in technology is available.. there are many different types of meds to treat these conditions, and most of them Really help.. at four years old, its best to treat this problem right away. if you leave it, he may grow up and become worse.. i would not suggest homeschool because while he may be safe at home, once he gets out into the real world (working, family, etc..) it will be hard for him to adjust.

it IS possible for this conditon to NOT be one of the above listed, and if so you can talk to his teacher about his options. good luck =]

Answer 7

my son did 3yo kinder and i got told all the same things, they wouldn't put him up to 4yo kinder so i put him in family day care were he spent 1 year 3 days a week with another family. when it came time to go to 4yo kinder it started all over again,,, same old same old. worked with the shire to get some help...... nothing. he when off to school, i had a meeting with hi teacher to explain all of the things u talk about. she said he was fine. by the end of prep she called and said i cant deal with him any more. i had the school nurse give me a referral to a paediatrician and the is now on meds for ADHD. 1 year later he is top of his class, not in any fights plays with other kids well......... i find this years teacher a lot better because she knows I'm trying to help the situation. just persist you will get there, and not matter what happens its not because of u.... best of luck

Answer 8

Boys tend to mature less than boys. Have you looked at his diet to see if there were any changes in behaviors? Was there more sugar in it on the bad days compared to the good days? Sugar tends to make my mind more hyper and alert longer than the average person. In regards to kindergarten, you might want to wait a year to see if it helps him on maturity and controlling his diet more. Also, have you had him evaluated by his doctor to rule out medical problems or allergies? It could influence him, too. Good luck!

Answer 9

It is your fault. You are the one who is supposed to teach him basic social skills and what is/isn't acceptable. If he feels totally comfortable acting a fool in class it is because he gets away with it at home. You have the nerve to say that the kids will never learn if the teacher kicks them out. Stop spoiling the little boy and give him some boundaries!

Frankly, most parents are tired of parents like you who drop of the spoiled brats at school and blame the teacher for not giving him enough chances. Every time he acts out he is taking valuable time away from the other children. You better get him under control before elementary school.

You are raising a future bully.

Answer 10

Home School him