Me and him have 9yrs, And I gave him another chance cause I love him with all my heart..but I think alot of what he did to me...and it kills me...and gets me real mad....I dont know what to do.
2006-11-09 07:11:22 · 33 answers · asked by mabel20179 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay, i know you've been together for 9 years but dump him. Anyone who can cheat once can cheat twice. Anyone who can cheat after being with someone for 9 years doesn't care about the person they cheated on. What do you think he's thinking when you aren't around? He's thinking how easy it is to cheat on you and how you won't do anything about it. sorry and good luck.
2006-11-09 07:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been cheated on and it hurts! Nine years is a long time. First off, why did he cheat? Is it because of boredom? Are there some underlying issues? If you WANT to save the relationship..you have to figure out the root of the problem. I suggest the two of you go for counselling. Is he truly sorry? Would he go for counselling? If he seems insincere, then it's very unlikely that it will work.
Also, can you forgive? I'm the type of person that will bring it up over and over again and use it against him in every fight. I know it's wrong, but I'm being honest....and that is NOT a recipe for a happy relationship. You have to be extremely honest with yourself and ask some hard questions. Do you think he's worth it? Is he worth ANY more of your time? Life is too short! You could be missing out on something better. Of course, that is for you to decide. The 9 yrs you gave him are gone forever! Does he deserve anymore? What if you stayed and he cheated again? Will you be singing this tune, but now it's 13 years etc.?
I know what you're going through, it it's painful. But things WILL get better. You probably know in you gut what you should do -listen to it. Be strong, you deserve to be happy and to have someone who will truly love and honor you. Good luck
2006-11-09 07:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by Snowflakes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are in some pain over this and it is going to be hard to forget it but try you must, because you closure on this as well personally I would let him go even though you have gave him a chance and probably forgiven him as well not to say spent 9 years with him and still in love too! How much pain are you willing to take before it really destroys you?
What I am saying to you is that you cannot live like this under no circumstances and you will never be happy like the way you were before unless you let him go whether you love him or not....I know that this is a hard pill to swollow but think about how you are feeling right now? Can you live like this? I don't think any woman that would be in your shoes would go through it and that is for real...Let him go and find happiness someplace else away from him before it tears you apart....
2006-11-09 07:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's almost impossible to forget something like that, but the hurt will lessen in time. For now, you really need to talk to him about your feelings. They are valid and he needs to hear them. Try not to let it get into a screaming match, but do express yourself.
If you both want to save the relationship, he has to understand that his cheating made a serious crack in the wholeness of your being together. He has to start over with earning your trust.
You have to put it behind you. I don't say forget it, but put it in the past. That means whenever you have a fight with him, he's a little bit late, or you don't know where he is every minute of the day, you don't immediately throw it up in his face that he cheated on you once.
BUT, if he should ever do it again, then I would kick him to the curb and move on. Make sure he knows that but then never bring it up again.
2006-11-09 07:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know what you are going through. I have been there and done that. My relationship was for 8 years. I forgave him and gave him another chance just like you have, but in the long run it will happen again, no matter what he tells you. Me, I finally came to the decision that a man should love me as I love him.no matter how much it hurts, you have to let go. It took me maybe, almost a year before I was strong enough to stop crying, feeling lonely and started gaining my security and confidence back. As long as you forgive the more they think they can get away with! TALK TO ME - otherpeople7@yahoo.com- my name is Tameka
2006-11-09 07:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that you wish to have time to determine why you're having those emotions within the first location. Has he given you any rationale so that you can suspect infidelity? If he's being devoted you truthfully are going to harm the connection on the grounds that no person loves to think distrusted. Maybe you must sit down down with him and give an explanation for to him the way you think. But dont maintain accusing him. Sometimes you have got to deliver a character the improvement of the doubt. Love them. But maintain your eyes open. You must be competent to inform if any person is dishonest on you. Your a lady come on. You can play FBI...with out even giving him a clue that you simply suspect him dishonest. Get robust..Get sensible...Get instantly with your self and along with your guy. Now move do anything attractive for that guy of yours.
2016-09-01 09:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by marentes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what u mean that madness and killin u, but it only harms u .. you know..
But dont listen to ppl if they say u cant!
what u could do is talk to him straight up about how u feel and that u cant stop thinking about it and if he understands u and really love u and yall talked it out (u could ask him to help u 2 try to get over it)and if u love him 2.. and u heart say yall ment to be
Forgive him and once u did stop reliving it :)
You can do it.
2006-11-09 07:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person can always be capable of forgiving, but it is never easy to forget. The most important thing you can do now is decide whether you are going to stay or go. BUT if you are going to try and make it work, don't hold over his head his affair because it only makes things harder for the both of you.
2006-11-09 07:14:00 · answer #8 · answered by mvngs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take a long time for you to get over the hurt and to be able to trust him again...if ever. If you are committed to giving him another chance and he wants that chance...you'll have to deal with the pain of distrust and he will have to deal with your distrust of him by being very accountable to you for his actions and whereabouts. He created the situation not you so don't let him make you feel as if you're being unreasonable by wanting to know where he is all the time.
2006-11-09 07:14:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend, wow lets not even go there. i have been with my man for 6 years. i cheated on him. he talked to other girls. but we worked through our differences. it is VEEEEEEERY hard to forget. forgive is one thing but forget is another. the only way you two can be happy is if HE wants to change and wants to be faithful. if he doesnt then as hard as it may seem you have to leave him. trust me i know that kills you to hear because i am going through the same stuff right now. only time can heal all wounds. i know you are hurt but remember it CAN get better, not will just can.
2006-11-09 07:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋