My boyfriend and I went out for 2 years. He's a bit immature, but we loved each other a ton. He's a good guy, just not quite a man yet. We broke up because of a big fight that we got into and then he wanted to get back together and I said no because he broke up with me and I was scared that he would hurt me again. Now, I know that I want to be with him, but I want him to change. Should I contact him or should I try to move on and let him contact me if he really wants to be with me? He has called me a couple of times over some lame questions that he had.
2006-11-09 07:07:01 · 10 answers · asked by Mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Can't change the man, doesn't work that way. Move on, perhaps in time he will choose to change his ways, maybe then you will find yourselves together again...but don't wait...go forward
2006-11-09 07:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by T-Bone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should know by now there is no changing anybody, unless that's their goal as well. U broke up, he wanted to get back 2gether and u said NO, now u want him back? Sounds like you both got some growing to do. He might not want to get back with you now because you turned him down first. Maybe you should just give him a call and tell him how you feel. Maybe it's best to have time apart, this way he grows, and you both have time to sort out your feelings. If it's meant to be, it will be. You can't force it though. If he says no, then suck it up and move on sister. All the best.
2006-11-09 07:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by TRUTH HURTZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NEVER and I repeat NEVER go into any relationship with the hope of that person changing! If you can't love him now for who he is right now, you should walk away. The possibility of those changes NEVER happening is high and even if he did change into someone else, he would do it solely for you and end up resenting you and hating who he became. Because that person is fictional.
We all have potential in us but what if the changes you want him to make never come about. You'll have wasted a lot of time and in the end will hurt a lot more. Move on, let him go. The qualities you wish he had are in someone else. Good luck!
2006-11-09 07:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through a similar scenario at the moment. I cheated on my boyfriend because i was confused and didn't know what i wanted. I'm like your ex-boyfriend - trying to win the loved one back.
People are telling me "onwards and upwards, move on" but it's up to you and being in your boyfriends shoes, i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't say give him another chance. That's what i wish my ex-boyfriend would do everyday!
Then again, i don't want either of us to change and at the end of the day people will only make changes because it's what they want. It's a fairytale to think that anyone can change another person.
So if he's not the one for you, since you feel you need to change him, then look for someone who you wouldn't want to change then you'll be happy!
2006-11-09 07:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by Louise M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you want him to change. It just might take the rest of your life to realize that you can't make people change. You also said he is immature, this means he is too young for a relationship. If you are meant to be together it will happen sometime down the road. Do you want to be a path or a destination? He is on the path now.
2006-11-09 07:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by MG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a young thang! (all good!) If you want to get back with him, don't waste time. Do it!!! If he call again with some lame question after answering it, ask him what he is doing. Ask him do he want to go to the movies or something! Get back with him.
And you can not change anybody!
2006-11-09 07:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never try to make a man change. If he's not the one, he's not the one. You either accept him for who he is, or you move on. It's that simple.
2006-11-09 07:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take people the way they are. If you get back together with him and immediately say, "things have to change..." then it won't work. If it's minor things, tell him what they are now and see if he will change them BEFORE you get back together.
2006-11-09 07:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id say find a new person but if u really want him back just hang out with him and ast all nice and stuff and ask him out
2006-11-09 07:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by sdtgfwabf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to be with him but want him to change???
move on, find a mature man,
2006-11-09 07:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋