My couzin whom I am very close too, my second sister, is very very angry with me right now. I did do something wrong, not unforvgivable, but wrong. I did apologize several times , yet she is still mad and doesn't want to talk to me at all. Just forced to when necessary. How can I fix this? I can only apologize so much and then what?????????? Any ideas?
2006-11-09 06:34:22 · 26 answers · asked by Kay M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nothing; you do absolutely nothing with them.
Everyone lies on some level, hides things, makes mistakes, etc. Don't allow anyone to hold you to their standard of right and wrong, because all humans are fickle and fall short...
When you play the "Oh I'm soooo sorry" game with people and they think they have you where they want you, you will be forever trying to get back in their good graces; which is intentional on their part. If you say it's over, then let it be over. If you say you forgive a person, forgive (and even if you don't forget) move on!
Grudges are childish. If she doesn't want to talk to you right now, back off. If it remains that way, then maybe the "close" relationship was not what you thought and this will be a valuable learning experience for you in more ways than one. Ultimately, no one wants relationships, kin ships, and friendships with big CONDITIONAL stamps on them. Real love is patient, kind, and forgiving, it doesn't keep a record of wrongs...
2006-11-09 06:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Albritton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's going to be that way, just let it go...you've done what you can. There's nothing more you can do. Some people hold grudges for long periods of time-right up until death...it depends on the person. But don't let that effect you. Just don't let it get to you. Be the better person. You've apologized. Leave her alone and see if she comes around. If she doesn't, oh well! That's HER loss!! OK? That's how I feel personally, but do what you must...good luck...
2006-11-09 06:58:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it right. There are only so many times you can apologize to your cousin. I know you love her, but just give her some time and space. She will come around eventually. So just let it go. Don't worry about it anymore. You've already apologized and realized what you did is wrong. Just make sure that whatever it is, you don't make the mistake again. Good Luck to ya!
2006-11-09 06:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In time, she will forgive you, but as of now you just need to give her, her space and stay out of her face. What ever you have done, she may feel as if you are not really sorry and if it has anything to do with her man. Then she needs to know that you can not be mad at one without being mad at the other. Family first! But just give her time, cause time is the key. Just know even if you all hang out and talk, things will never ever be the same!
2006-11-09 06:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by ressie re 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no good advice, since I am likely to be a person to hold
a grudge for decades. I don't get 'em easy - but when I get 'em,
they stick around and setup house keeping.
I come by it honestly.
My Grandfather would not speak to his sister for the 50 years
leading up to his death. We think the fight was over something
in a will, but nobody would ever say anything about it, and the
secret died with that generation.
50 years. Should I be proud of them?
2006-11-09 06:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe to you what you did was "not unforgivable," but to your cousin it was a betrayal of trust. She's not necessarily holding a grudge, but she obviously needs more time to resolve how she feels about you and what you did. If you two were really that close, there must be love there that will eventually cause her to open up to you again. It must may take more time than you think.
2006-11-09 06:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that people who hold grudges are angry people. They are miserable in there own circumstances. If you have apologized repeatedly, STOP! Your feeding into their attention getting ways. Maybe once you have stopped graveling, she will understand, your generally sorry, and have moved on. Just as she should. We all make mistakes, we are human, and its inevitable. Its what we do, or learn from our mistakes thats inportant. Hope she comes around, Good Luck!
2006-11-09 07:15:20 · answer #7 · answered by cjpburgess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your going to have to give them time to get over beijng mad at you first. That will probably take time... I dont know what exactly you did, but you are family and she will eventually forgive you. Patients is a virtue, and time is something you have plenty of. You need to wait until she is ready the more you apologize the more you are probably making her mad.... You need to leave her alone for a while....
2006-11-09 06:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by squeaky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did what you could - nothing left.Give her two more weeks of silence and if she didn't talk buy her some nice gift /what she collect or have some hobby/ and try to be sorry one more time.
If doesn't work - give up, some people can understand finally start talking or just never again. I have some co worker as sh ole who just don't like me and we never talk for years and is OK.
2006-11-09 06:43:50 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fight fire with fire and give her the cold shoulder. You apologised and she was not big enough to accept.
Whether you like her or not, you will only now make a fool of yourself by grovelling, so don't bother.
She will either come to her senses or it will be over permanently.
2006-11-09 06:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by steven b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋