Horribly defiant 3 year old...?

Question

I do in-home daycare and I have a 3 year old girl in my daycare that has been adopted and diagnosed with attachment disorder and possibly ADHD also. She is absolutely rotten to deal with! I understand she has problems but I am completely at my wits end with her. She has no remorse when she hurts other kids, she laughs when she gets in trouble, she is completely out of control and it's even worse when her mom comes to get her and her brother. When her mom comes she thinks every rule I have is out the door and runs around destroying everything. How can I approach her mother about finding another daycare? I can't handle her anymore, I have 5 other kids to take care of all day (one is my 12 week old baby) and I just can't keep up with her destruction. Any ideas?

Also, I send home daily notes telling about the kids' day...she is aware that these problems have been going on since she started here in July.

Answer 1

You obviously cannot control the parenting that goes on at her home. Her parents may have poor parenting skills or the child may indeed have difficult behavioral problems that even good parenting isn't controlling. Either way, you are not obligated to keep a child in your daycare that is so disruptive and abusive to the other kids. Your responsibility is to ALL the children in your care.

This child would be better served by caregivers trained in dealing with behavioral problems. Their abilities and the caregiver-to-child ratio will be better suited to give this little girl the help she needs.

Answer 2

Let the mother know that you are giving a 2 week termination notice due to the fact that her child is becoming more uncontollable and the behavior is escalating to violent behavior. You have a duty to protect the other children in your care. It is better to lose one child than to lose all the other children. Unless she is willing to find support with a professional while the child is in your care, then you really don't have any choice. You don't say how long this child has been in your care. If it is recent, then give it some time for the child to adjust. If it has been some months, and she still is difficult to handle, let the mother know you have tried everything and you can't do it anymore. She needs to know so she can make other arrangements.

Answer 3

Tell her mom it's enough. Why are risking the safety of the other kids for her. I have a home daycare too and if it happened to me she would be out on her behind really fast.
Goodluck

Answer 4

don't beat around the bush. actually, take what you have written above and copy it to a letter to her on your daycare's official letterhead.

document situations and include them in your letter. Give her say, a week to find alternative day care for her child.

you have every right to have a peaceful daycare. you will start loosing the other parents' and their good opinions of your daycare, if you don't put them 1st.

keep a signed copy of this letter and send her one registered mail. return reciept requested, signature required.

or hand it to her and have her sign something stating she recieved it from you.

Answer 5

You have to let her Mom know, for the safety of the other children in your care. Be honest, and kind. She may react to this, but this is something you have to do, and you are well within legal rights to deny caring for this child.

This is a tough one, so good luck.

Answer 6

Just call her mom up and tell her you aren't going to put up with her anymore and she'll just have to find someone else to care for her kids. I know that sounds kind of awkward, but seriously her child is tearing up your house and causing chaos in your home--you have to do something or she'll get even worse.

Answer 7

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/

Answer 8

in my opinion i think of habit charts are rapid-fix parenting. If he's doing something you do in contrast to, only confer with him approximately it. 3 IS have faith it or not, sufficiently previous that they might comprehend. If he's working circles around the homestead, kneel down AT HIS EYE point (you're able to desire to continuously confer with infants at their eye point, this is much less intimidating and infants are lots greater probably to hearken to you while you're actually not towering over them and while you're calm) and in a relaxed voice tell him immediately what you like. "Please provide up working in the homestead." and clarify it to him. distinctive mothers and dads do not clarify issues to their infants which only makes for annoyed infants. infants will stick to rules that they might comprehend. tell him at his eye point "do you comprehend why i don't desire you to run in the homestead?" "i don't desire you to run in the homestead when you consider which you're able to desire to get harm." final, grant a answer "in case you're able to be a solid listener, and supply up working as quickly as I ask you to, we are able to pass to the park after lunch." or ask him "while you're feeling bored, what would desire to you do somewhat of working in the homestead?" if he does not comprehend grant options to redirect him "you're able to desire to shade, you're able to desire to play candy land, you're able to desire to construct with legos..." All infants push obstacles at 3. it is developmentally suitable for a three 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. this is what 3 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous's do. you only would desire to set worry-loose limits for him. issues like, utilizing great words, Being a solid listener, Being risk-free. Ask him good, clarify why, arise with the thank you to repair the issue. observe of issues that set off him to not hear.