but apparently she's upset some girls at school by dating a former boyfriend of a girl she has known for 3 years now and were considered friends (this girl now has a new boyfriend). she's receiving threatening phone calls, im's, etc. and is afraid to go to school. i've contacted the school and got an "i'm sorry for her problems" comment from her counseler, i'm waiting on word from her dean?!? daughter's not been quite honest with me on "who" these girls were (i found by logging into her msn and checking her "blocked" contacts) and she's upset with me. Yes i told her how i found out who was threatening her, i was honest in that respect, but in "snooping" i was trying to find out who these girls were to look out for her best interest. She says she wants to change high schools (2 in our town) to get away from these threats.
IS THAT THE RIGHT CHOICE?
Do I let her "run away" from her problems? Or should she faces her fears?
2006-11-09 06:08:05 · 13 answers · asked by joe's wife 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
after speaking on the phone with her dean and setting up a meeting, I've learned the other high school is almost "at capacity" and probably will NOT accept a transfer - unless we move into that district, which considering we own our home, that is out of the question.......... what now???
2006-11-09 07:15:38 · update #1
Your daughter did nothing wrong in this case (as you know) and it was right of you to check her e-mail in this instance. Threatening is a crime though. If you call the police, something will be done about these girls. This is not taken lightly in my town.
Although this will make them stop, I'm not sure it will help the problems at school. I would contact the police first, and then see how things go at school. If she's able to find a new group of friends and becomes happy once again, then no reason to change schools. If the harassing continues at school, no matter what, then I would consider changing schools. Teasing and taunting in HS can lead to permenant mental damage, and trust issues later in life.
2006-11-09 06:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by countrygurl587 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a daughter in the same boat, not much can be done unless the threatening girl takes action. Changing school is not the answer, remember her mind is going to follow her body wherever she goes. Next, if the girl is a minor and is still under your parental guidence, she can get as mad as she wants for you snooping. If she gets an attitude about it, I'd take away her computor. Nuff said.
2006-11-09 06:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bob P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use non-traditional methods with my children as well. I will have to remember the singing one next time my two are going at it. Once I handcuffed them together for the afternoon because they were being so mean to each other. I've also made them end every comment with "And I love you" for the entire day. Now, I also teach middle school and I use some non-traditional methods with them as well. For example, if my students are being rude to each other, I have them bow (and I mean a full fledged, rolling of the arm bow) to the other party for an entire day. So that any time that student passes them (in class, the hallway, etc) they must stop and bow. The other students are my monitors and are to report back to me if they do not bow. It's always so much fun trying to find a "better" way to get back at the students for trivial things.
2016-05-22 00:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a teenage daughter and I have done a little snooping myself. I feel entitled to seeing that this is my house and she my daughter, but I never tell her where I get my info. How serious is this relationship? It may be easier to find a new boyfriend than switching schools where shes obviously doing so well. If that doesn't work, find the school bully and tell her what this other girl is saying about her. A little distraction from your daughter may help.
2006-11-09 07:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by no expert but... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the school is not willing to help you, I would consider letting her change schools. I would hate to see her get beat up (then of course the school would do something about it when it's too late) or her grades start slipping because of other students harassing her. Sadly some teenagers today take things way too far. I am sorry that this is happening to your daughter. I hope things get better.
2006-11-09 06:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a difference between "running away from her problems" and fearing for her safety!
you need to put her safety 1st. High school kids can be very mean. and unfortunately, even brutal.
I know if my 17 or even my 16 year old student were being threatened and there was another school I could put them in to get them out of harm's way, you bet I would do it, in a heartbeat!
you need to realize, however, that there may be kids over there that could be in on the problem, or become aware of the situation, if they happen to be friends with any of the kids in question. be vigilant in who she's with and where she is.
2006-11-09 06:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by smartkid37138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent and only you know what is best for your child. I am 22 years old, and I think if I was in that predicament in high school and I said I wanted to change schools then thats what I would really want to do. I would let her. Sit down and really talk to her about it. Honestly if she is a good kid, good grades etc like I was, my mom would always let me make the decisions I wanted with her consent. I suggest if she wants to attend a different high school, and she has good judgement then let her do so. Good luck!
2006-11-09 06:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by darcilynn83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to let your daughter know that the only reason you checked her e-mail was for her safety. The school should be doing something about this. Also, try contacting the other parties parents.
2006-11-09 06:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by lovelax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had that happen to me so I started homeschooling. I didn't consider it "running away" from problems, I considered it getting away from it so you don't have to put up with immature people like that and getting on with my life. I think you should let her switch schools. If not, school is going to be living hell for her.
2006-11-09 06:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't mean to downplay the situation, but it's probably just talk. These kinds of situations happen FAR more than you would realize.
If she wants to change schools, that's something to consider, but it'll probably blow over before to long.
2006-11-09 06:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋