my son has sever adhd. I dont know what to do hes so bad my parent or most anyone doesnt want to be around him

Question

he has sever adhd and is on three diffrent medicens and we are just starting councling I love my son more than anything but I'm even getting to where I just dont know what to do anymore. nobody want to be around him becuse hes so out of control. Hes only 7 years old and already so out of hand I fear the future and on top of the adhd he is prone to vilonce hes always talking about killing this or that or someone. I feel like all I do is yell at him becuse he wont even listen to the most simple thing Please help

Answer 1

Kelly, when i read your story it was like hearing mine! I feel for you, and know exactly what you're going through.
I have the same despair, the same fear for the future and the same sense of hopelessness that you do.

I have to force myself to go to work and function normally with all the turmoil going on in my head about how to deal with it. My son is not on any medication because i didnt want to do more harm to him, but i think my own health is in severe danger now if i keep feeling so stressed.

Like you, i have spent the last 8 yrs doing nothing but dedicate my time to his development. Speech therapy, occupational therapy, behaviour therapy, funding for classroom help, you name it. And still i find myself feeling like a failure as a parent because of his actions.

I just really wanted to respond to your question, i dont have any answers, but i was compelled to let you know you are not alone, and i feel the exact same way. I didnt think it was possible for anyone to feel as desparing as me, and your question made me feel less alone.

I wish you all the best in the future,

Hearttattoo.

Answer 2

You're on the right track with getting him help. Now he needs an outlet for his energy. Enroll him in any sport, if he's coordinated enough and can get along with the other kids. Or try karate or other martial arts. Kids with ADHD usually do well in martial arts, because it's not so much a teamwork thing. They also learn some self-discipline and respect, which can greatly benefit your son and your family.

Make sure he gets chores and does them, no questions. Don't let him veg out in front of the tv or computer all the time. Send him outside for fresh air, even if it's just to take a walk around the block. Hand him a shovel and have him dig a hole. Anything to keep him active!

Tell him the violence talk has to stop. Be firm with him! Remind him who's in charge. Always the parents, never the kids!

Do you do family counseling, or is it just for him? Family counseling would help you deal with him better. Also sometimes a kid needs to hear from someone else what he ignores from you.

One more thing, and this might sound really off-the-wall, but it's worth a try. Get Cesar Millan's book "Cesar's Way". It's about dog training (he's the dog whisperer), but a lot of it holds true for parenting too. I just read the book, and wish I'd had it to read when my son was younger. He's 16 now, and still a handful, but he's starting to listen to me more now that I'm talking to him like someone who commands his respect.

Good luck! Stay strong! Hang in there!

Answer 3

Has the pdoc (psychiatrist) settled on these meds as being the best for him? Or are you still in the trial and error stage? What is he taking? Some meds can actually produce some very nasty side effects which could explain the violent speech. Keep a diary of behavior and bring it to his pdoc so you have a day to day account of what is happening to him. You also want to take a look at family history. One type of ADHD which includes ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) is actually the pediatric dx for Bi-polar and will eventually need to be treated as such - sometimes as young as your son.
In the home, set boundaries, set a routine. You will need to discipline yourself as well as him if you are the spontaneous type. He will respond very well once he knows what to expect at any time. A lifestyle without routine is chaotic and frustrating to him (does he behave better in school?). And try other methods of getting him to do things beside yelling (that also adds to the chaos in his brain). Establish a reward system and let him earn privaleges (tv, video games, skateboarding, etc). Let him know that these pleasures are not rights and misbehavior will lead to boredom. If he acts up because he is bored then he earns himself an extra chore or two.
And most importantly BE CONSISTANT.
Good luck, I know you will need it.

edit to add: Don't forget to praise, praise, praise him when he gets something right, especially a behavior that he has to make a big effort on. And brag to others in his presence whenever you get the chance. These will boost his self-esteem.

Answer 4

I have an 8yr old with ADHD. He has the same anger problems also, let me tell you I cringe every time the phone rings afraid it's the school. I recently took him to a psychologist who specializes in children and also has a PhD so he can write prescriptions. He changed my son's med's. He is now on Ritalin and a med called Risperdal. It took a while to get the right doses for him, but now that we have it figured out he's a completely different child. Polite, curtious, loving, everyone comments on how it's like someone flipped a switch in his brain. And the plus is that he doesn't look and act like he's in a drug haze. His grades have improved markedly, he has alot of friends and is the loving son I always knew he could be. Look into changing your son's meds and or dossages. If your counselor doesn't agree, find someone who does and is willing to do whats best for him. Good Luck.

Answer 5

There are new technologies out there that can help. A company called 4Life Research has an all natural product called Transfer Factor ReCall. It has no side affects and it is great. It has a beneficial effect on the neurotransmitters (chemical mediators) in the brain. If you are interested then visit my web site and look up this product and read about it ...then e-mail me...
Try it... what have you got to loose?

Answer 6

I don't know how true this is but I read an article quite a while ago about getting children involved in something that would help them focus and Karate was at the top of the list. It helps them to learn how to focus and meditate. OR just something to teach them how to meditate. Keeps them busy and involved. I actually think that is the key - keeping them busy and involved. You have nothing to loose by trying. I wish you all the best.

God Bless!

Answer 7

I have no answers, just wanted to say this sounds so tough. I am sorry and hope things get better for you and your son.

Well, I have one answer.. you need some support. Try to find a group or another Mom that is having the same problem. It's a shame your family won't step in to help...

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 8

In my opinion, the medications might be making the problem even worse. I think that he will grow out of the violent threats, because when my younger brother was that age he used to do that too. He stopped when he started learning Karate, and since I do that too I can attest that it improves focus and concentration.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear your dilema. Have a look at this website www.fedup.com.au it's all about how food intolerence changes behaviour and learning in children. Even natural food chemicals in fruit and veg (which you think are healthy) can really effect kids.
It's hard at first, but once you get the hang of it it's 2nd nature and your son will realise too that his life is better and less stressful.

Answer 10

My two oldest children have adhd and they aren't on any meds. I read a book writen by a doctor that says it causes permanent damage in adulthood for kids who have taken it for too long. I took my oldest to a homiopathic doctor and he prescribed a great herbal combonation that helped greatly and not only did it help, but it's nonadictive, there are no side effects, and it actually helps to improve the parts of the brain that are having trouble so it isn't going to be a life long thing!
I only had her on that for about 6 months. (money problems)
but with a good diet and lots of love, it's workable.
Instead of focusing on the poor behavior, give him lots of things to do to steady his thoughts. Projects that don't take very long, but will help him feel like he was successful at it.
Try feeling out different sensory things. Does playing with sand relax him, or feeling something cold?
If you are afraid of violence, help him get his agression out in a different way...pounding nails and building something, or Karate lessons.
Give him lots of chances to get his energy out, going to the park, running, jumping....dance with him.
Let him know it's okay to have fun and be a kid, tell him you love him and seak out as much good as you possibly can. It will help him and you.