We have been together for 7 months and we moved in together 2 months ago. We love each other very much, love is definitely not the issue. But we agrue all the time. We are realizing just how very different we are. I am used to certain things in a relationship and so is he. We have tried different things several times to make it work but we keep arguing. I am very inquisitive, and he says it's too much that I ask too many questions about eveything. But I can't help it. He lied to me once before (not about another women or anything) something simple that he could have just told me the truth but he didn't and I found out & confronted him & he then he told me the truth. So I have a real hard time trusting him therefore I question everything. Lots of things he does that bother me to. Last night we sat down and I told him I needed to talk to him. I discussed all the above with him and more and told him perhaps we need to let this go because we are both unhappy and miserable.
2006-11-09 05:45:28 · 13 answers · asked by Tiffany S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said he isn't all the time but he is just as much as I am. After talking for a while we agreed to let it go. We still laid in same bed last night but turned different ways, after about 20 minutes he rolled over and grabbed me and said lets give it another shot, I don't want this to end. He said we have to work harder on understanding each other. I told him ok because I love him so much. I wish it could work...what does everything think??
2006-11-09 05:47:05 · update #1
I moved in with a guy after 7 months before.. I think it ruined our relationship. I will never live with a man until I am married now. It seems crazy to commit to someone that much when you haven't decided if you like them enough to spend everyday (rest of life) with. Esentially that is what you are doing.. spending the rest of your life together... so it is putting way to much into the relationship.
I would suggest moving out and still dating. You can take a baby step backwards.. He might think it is a good idea too. It might save your realationship.
Good Luck :-)
2006-11-09 05:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by Trudy Bell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Several things are happening here. First off, there are probably a lot of things you both are learning about each other that you didn't know prior to moving in together. Things that are attractive or cute when you don't live with each other can become annoying when you do. Now you guys are getting on each other's nerves. That is normal.
Another issue is knowing each other only 7 months is not adequate time to really get know anyone. Moving in this early is not a really good idea, because now you've made a committment that is not as simple as breaking up to separate you. That is too much pressure on such a young relationship.
The biggest issue is the old adage, "why buy the cow when the milk is free". Men are very simple beings. They set goals, and once their goals are achieved, they set their sights on another goal. He has you now, so he won't put as much attention in to nurturing you or keeping you. Not like he would have if you didn't live together. Not even age helps men get beyond this limitation. The only thing that helps is when they get to the point that they feel like they can't live without you. Now that he's lived with you after only 7 months, he knows that isn't true. There is no incentive for him to keep you happy.
2006-11-09 14:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by 10timesalady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to worry about, it seems as though you have a great boyfriend. He just wants you to ease up on the worrying cause it's obvious he loves you very deeply - he said so- and he doesn't wanna lose you. Just keep the communication lines open, compliment him as much as possible, cause that's something most couples take for granted. You seem to have some insecurity issues which if not dealt with by you will result in the ending of your relationship so u need to be very careful cause these are not the times to be messing up good relationships as i'm sure u would know, they are very hard to find. So work at it and try to be a bit more patient and understanding cause u've got a gud man.
2006-11-09 13:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with him. What good is the love you have for one another when you can't even get along and all you do is fight? If you have tried everything, and sat down and talked about it and tried several times to resolve the issue, you just need to find someone that is more compatiable with you. I know that it is hard to move on when you are comfortable with someone, but it will make you happier in the end.
2006-11-09 13:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry all the time about him lying. You have to trust him if you have any chance at all. Realistically, he probably lied about the little thing because he was not in the mood to go into some long story. My hubby has done that before. It is the easy way and sometimes they do that because they don't think it is a big deal. I know it's funny, but men are easy to figure out. We are the complicated ones.
2006-11-09 13:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by Ladythang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 months is way too short to move in. You are both still immature and not ready for a serious relationship. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Enjoy life and don't make your 20's into a miserable chore. Get yourown place!
2006-11-09 13:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok ok, first of all you two were only together 5 mon. before moving in with each other.. to fast.. slow down. Maybe that is the problem. you two didn't get a chance to really know each other before moving in together.. maybe y'all don't need to be together. think about that. Is it really worth the unhappiness of both of you??? You need to make that decision for yourself. And u don't trust him, that is another big issue.. And LOVE???? you've only known him for 7 months.... you two need to wake up , come back to reality.. HELLO!!
2006-11-09 13:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by gamustanggirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first comment.
You shouldn't move in together.
Especially when you're young.
You two should enjoy the space you have now while it lasts.
Don't make it complicated by moving in together.
I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and I'm glad we haven't moved in together.
Because I like what we have together.
I'm saving the moving in part for marriage.
2006-11-09 13:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of being in love is being able to live together harmoniously, honestly you should not live with a man until you are married to him it is too soon to really know who he really is, what he likes, what he does not. try talking to him about it and if he loves you he will work it out. he should not be lying to you about anything. MOVE OUT and will respect you more.
2006-11-09 13:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by MissPriss 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU MOVED IN 5 MONTHS LATTTTTTTTTTER?????????
you lost your mind, of course you argue!!!
No doubt... you don't know eachother enough to trust eachother and thus his little lie shook your trust....
give it time...
you'll grow on eachother ( so does fungs!!!)
2006-11-09 13:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by pumpkin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋