Personal gas escaping from all departments?

Question

A humourous question perhaps, but farting & burping seem to be common at the moment.
I have a normal diet & digestive system, and my GP has no idea.
Hey Ho - what do you reckon ?
Carry on Farting, as a movie ?
Humourous answers gratefully received.

Answer 1

I fart like a goodun every day and it doesn't matter what i have eaten but how fast i have gobbled it up. If i eat something hot i seem to cool it down by breathing on it as i put it in my mouth and i take in more air.
I can fart for England but i have never been able to burp, no matter how hard i try, sigh,

Carry on farting!!!!! hooray for farts,

Answer 2

Farting and burping come directly from what you are eating and drinking. I would omit a food or two over the next couple of weeks - returning it to your diet only if it is NOT the one causing you to "pass gas". A rather laborious process and a lengthy one but if you want to be in polite company, one I would seriously consider.

Answer 3

So long as they don't want a movie of your colon, quite degrading that. A good remedy for extra gas is eat Arrow root biscuits or arrow root from health shop.

Answer 4

Even Dickens in a Sale of Two Titties recognised the value, and I quote "'tis a fart, fart better thing I do".

Answer 5

Hmm well if you know any smart people you could ask them to work with you on some sort of methane powered vehicle? Save it going to waste!

Answer 6

As a child we would sing: 'A fart is a breeze, that gives the belly ease, warms up the bed and suffocates the fleas'..............

Answer 7

Take Beano and there will beano gas