i have an ex girlfriend who broke up with me but she still wants to remain friends with me and she still wants to hang out with me, but she was the one who broke up with me and im still hurt and all this being friends is to painful for me. So i took her phone number out of my cell phone and i try not to talk to her at all. Now im i being ignorant or is this normal and should i feel lucky that she still want to be friends with me and someday we might get back together if we stay friends for a while because i still love her and she says she still love me. And another thing is that she has a baby(which isnt mind) which she lets and wants him to call me Daddy but i told her that the baby can call me by my real name instead of dad because i dont know if i want to be friends with her and i just want to lose contact with her,but she still tells him to call me daddy. And we were together for 2 years and her son is 1 years old. I just dont know what to do.
2006-11-09 05:24:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it sounds like she doesnt want to be in a relationship, but that she wants to keep you around for backup. she may have someone else in mind and she wants to give it a shot, but she wants to know she has a plan (you) if that doesnt work out. or she may want to be single but that if she doesnt like it she may just want you to still be around and available to her. i only say that becuase back in my dating years i used to play those games with guys and i know others who did too.
as for the child, i wouldnt let her have him call you daddy. if you and her dont end up together in the long run, the child will only end up getting hurt because who he thinks is his dad is not around.
2006-11-09 05:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sarrah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that you still feel hurt and don't want to see her right now. I think it is perfectly normal for you to want some distance - since she broke up with you, she's probably find with being friends, but being around her all the time might bring old feelings back and might make you think there are chances of you getting back together with her. I went through the same thing, I can tell you that from my experiences, there is nothing but pain involved - you need distance from her right now, and being friends would be too hard. Wait a few months, and then maybe you guys can start hanging out again, when you are over her.
I just have to stress, it is COMPLETELY NORMAL to want space, and you should distance yourself, or you might get hurt again.
I think it is hurtful of her to keep saying she loves you...this is just game-playing...maybe she is serious, but is this going to help your healing process? I don't think so. You need so move on...if it's in the stars for it to happen, it will, but you need space.
I don't think it's right for her to expect you to be called "daddy" by her kid, either. I mean, why does she want to do this? Does she see you are a father figure, which means she wants to get back together with you eventually? It's just not appropriate, and not good for the kid, because the kid will get really confused by this.
She is giving you mixed messages. My advice: Don't really see or talk to her for a while, until you are over her. You need time to heal - this just isn't healthy.
2006-11-09 13:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by lavender 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first off what you are feeling is normal. It is painful trying to be friends with an ex and i'm the same way cuz i don't want to see or talk to them at least for a little while. It also sounds kinda funny to me yall were together 2 years and her son is 1.... did she cheat? Look it is a good sign she still wants you in her life but with how you're prolly feeling right now you need sometime to heal AWAY from her. Even tho she prolly doesn't mean it all she keeps doing is digging the scab off of a wound she inflicted. Just tell her you need time for yourself. That you appreciate that she still cares and all but she isn't helping she is just making things worse. Good luck
2006-11-09 13:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by K@t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay,well first of all, yes, you are lucky that she still wants to be friends and hang out with you, this is kind of like saying that she still wants to give it a chance. And yes, it is perfectly normal for you to be too hurt to even want any thing to do with her. And if she wants her kid to call you daddy then there is something wrong with her. If she broke up with you and she wants her kid to call you daddy then she is really hurting you by doing this, right? It probably makes you feel like she is playing with your head. Try to hang out with her even if it hurts. She wil probably see that you are hurting and come back to you. Who knows, she is probably hurting too. And you have been around her kid his whole life, right? So you are a huge part of his life so he may be the reason if you two get back together.
Well any way that it goes, I hope it works out for you, good luck!!!
2006-11-09 13:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by amanda r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i know she cheated on you....but if you truely love her then you can forgive her. I think you should try to being friends with her. i know it will be hard at first but if you really love her then you will put the pain aside to make both of you happy. she will probably will come back to you considering she is letting her son call you daddy....you should be happy that she found someone that trusts so dont hurt her by leaving her. if you were happy with her and love playing with her son then go for it be friends with her and give her another chance she may surprise you and really have changed. Good Luck!
2006-11-09 13:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by crazybayb20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is trying to use the child to control you. She sounds like a selfish person and truthfully I don't blame you for wanting to get away from her. I also believe when people hurt others, the hurt one will always carry that around.
2006-11-09 13:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by eyesoftheredmoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on dear. It's hard. Love hurts. But move on. You will find somebody better in the end. One that will love you and only you. Best of luck to you.
2006-11-09 13:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, now mister I caught that at the end. She cheated on you. So I know what to do. Leave. It will be hard, kinda, but it can only get easier. She probly out doin her thang at this very moment. Why else did she leave you?
2006-11-09 13:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋