I feel like I am being used should I get out now or give it a chance?

Question

I have been dating a guy for nearly a year. We've had ups and downs. I feel like I've done alot for him and we might have broke even in the money issue but his jeep riding always comes before me. he wouldn't even talk to me around halloween but he broke his leg and is laid up in bed and I paid one of his bills b/c he said he would give my money back. Now it's waiting on him hand and foot and I haven't gotten my money back and none of his so-called friends that he put ahead of me has even came to visit him. I just think I am being used. I am getting offers to go out with other guys and I am starting to think that maybe I should just let him go. Would that be mean in his condition? I just think he lied to me about my money because he got a paycheck - maybe he doesn't think that I need the money as much as he does but I spent $200 on his birthday last month and why would he think I would just want to pay his satellite bill for him to just sit up and watch TV on me and knowing I have a kid

Answer 1

Sounds like he's not the least bit considerate of you and you go overboard being considerate of him. I would leave him now, and next time you hook up with someone you really like take it easy on how much you give. I mean its ok to give but the fact you go overboard guys will find it easy to take advantage of you. Wait until you know he cares as much about you as you do about him before putting so much of yourself out there for him.

Answer 2

You know I was really reading this what you wrote and I want you to know there are plenty of women just like you that goes through the same thing, At this point yes I think you are being used and also being given no consideration of your feelings in this one way or another. I personally commend you for putting up with it like you have, most women would have left a long time ago but you didn't and you took all that junk that was being thrown at you and that makes you a very strong woman....Now here is my opinion I personally think that since the situation is the way it is with his leg and all I would nurse him back to health and then I would leave after that because your happiness is just as important as his and you do have a life whether he thinks so or not. Also forget about the money I can tell you that you are not going to get that back I just can tell you to count on that...But like I said you do need to let this go and move on after he gets well and let him know just how tired you really are being used and not being given no consideration at all...For you my dear stay strong and things will work out for you...Just do what is necessary and then when things are back to normal say goodbye!

Answer 3

Kaye,

Glitzyjewel has a wonderful jingle (poem) that you should learn! As others have mentioned, there are many women out here who do (have done) the same--I'm one: when I was moved to give to an ungiver, I got one foot stuck in the mire and repeatedly: I was looking for ONE caring man, and I thought I had to prove to God and the world that I was a caring WOMAN. And so I gave, catered, and yes, even loved when I didn't get care in return. I thought my example would be an "eye opener" that would heal the heart of (these men) I'd found. I knew what it felt like to be abandoned, and I refused to abandon these guys.The lesson for me (and hopefully for you): just because he came into your life doesn't mean God put him there to be your provider, lover, husband, or soul mate. Perhaps fellow lost soul, but not the skill/talent for a team (marriage).

I was looking (and still am) for a generous and dedicated person. You've proven to all of us readers that you're generous and dedicated: now give the gift of those virtues to yourself and your child. And KEEP these virtues foremost for the two of you. That will attract someone who appreciates your dedication--don't go dedicating yourself to strangers, especially Jeep riding satellite TV watching types! Frankly, that kind of self-centered thrill seeker who has not one molecule of tenderness or responsibility will never be good husband material: and you my dear are not going to open his eyes to even if you stand on your head and juggle penguins.

Don't need to prove ANYTHING to him! Life is short! If you remember him, fine, and forget about any kind of reciprocity: go find a guy who has the qualities! You're shopping in a sporting goods store and there ain't no food there for you or your baby!

Answer 4

The kid has to come first, so that right there gives you reason enough not to pay his bills. Maybe he didn't realize how much he needed you until he got hurt and you were the only one there for him. At any rate, don't pay his bills, just give him your time. If he does really appreciate you he will let you know; if not, then yes, I would move on.

Answer 5

i was in arelationship just like that i worked 40 hours a week for nothing at all then he cheated he was only with me to use me he knew i would wait onn him hand and foot i promise that you can do better you need to tell him first if he dont listino or mad then leave him its not worth it because if he wants you to stay that way then he wants a slave and i mean you will find someone that cares and will have50/50 i did and it took time if you stay with him its just going to get worse and that means you just dont want to be alone but you shouls really leave because you could have so much more and have alot more fun i promise pleasse dont let this go in one ear and out the other

Answer 6

girl, get out now..he appears to be sponging off of you and doesnt really care about how you feel or has any decency to think of you, your child or your relationship..demand your money back and just leave..there's more fish in the sea that will treat you like a queen but you have to dump this trash now..take on the offers from the other guys, then he will know you dont need him..dont lose any self esteem from this guy..your better then him..always remember that..

Answer 7

Actually, this is the BEST time to leave him, when he's laid out on his a**. That way, he can know that he had a good, caring girlfriend (you), and lost you because he's insensitive and self-centered. He'll have a lot of down time to contemplate what he did wrong. There are much better men out there for you, mama.

Answer 8

You know best if you are being used. You shouldn't sacrifice your life for someone else, if you are having doubts about their appreciation of you. Giving your all has proven that you care a lot but having nothing returned is very negligent on his part. You are a kind person for caring about a character who puts everything else before you. Enough is enough. Move on and enjoy your life.

Answer 9

Now that you're writing this, it means you are letting your stess away, and making assurance that you are right.
And you are. Why do you want to spend time with this guy?

The big fat rule for relationship before marriage, NEVER LEND MONEY TO YOUR BF OR GF!!!!
It's always a huge issue when this happens. Even for 100 bucks.
Guys without money ...geez. They will never get in my eyes even if they are cute and fit.
They will never ever make ladies happy!! Seriously, leave.

Answer 10

Chances are that if you feel that you're being used, then you are. In this case...yeah you are. His back isn't broken so he can get up and move around so stop waiting on him hand and foot and let him go. You deserve better than that!