Should I stay with my girlfriend?

Question

Should I stay with my girlfriend?
My girlfriend and I have lived together for 3 years going on 4. She and I have very different personalities and yet I find myself attracted to her just as much as when I met her. My dilema is that her and I do not see eye to eye and argue profusely. Our arguements are about silly, not-important things and the stress is killing me. I find it hard to maintain my daily life because I am living under constant stress from her overbearing ways. We have extremely different backgrounds but we have made it work thus far. How much sacrfice is too much when trying to maintain a relationship. Is a relationship healthy when the partners don't have any friends outside of the relationship because of the partner. We have a lot of good times and for the most part get along but her jealously and immaturity hold me back. We have so much vested in our relationship that I don't know where I would be without it. Do I bite the bullet and deal or start looking again?

Answer 1

My friend had a bf she was madly in love with for 2 and half years. They lived together, but all those time, her friend told her that she wasn't being herself.
She was sacrificing her social life because of him. He was never a sociable guy, and she thought it was love to stay with him, and killed her personality for some degree.
But finally, she realized that that's not her.

Can you imagine yourself being happy with her, having kids, smiling infront of your kids, or always arguing?
If the latter, you should bring out your courage and get separated. It's hard, but better for both. I think relationship is a compromize, but if you are too much on stress, you will burst one day...

Answer 2

Feel free to e-mail me about this but let me ask you, was this your husband, or boyfriend? If he is an ex husband what does the court order say? Typically court orders will have a clause that says no over night guests allowed, or can't spend the night at another residence...etc. If this is an ex boyfriend and there is no court order you have all the rights to that child in the eyes of the law (unless you live in Arizona) and can dictate where he is taken and what is done while he is there. On the flip side you may want to think why the dad is taking the kid to his girlfriends house. Is it so the dad can be with the girlfriend, or the girlfriend can get to know the baby, or so the dad can have help with the baby? Maybe it is a comfort issue for the dad to be able to have someone there to help. Maybe he feels her house is safer than his? Maybe she has kids at her house for the baby to play with?

Answer 3

No, it's not a healthy relationship if you do not have any friends outside of the relationship. You don't need to "bite the bullet and deal" so to speak. You've obviously made many sacrifices for her, but she hasn't for you. That's not fair, and that's not what a relationship is about. It's give and take, not give, give, give or take, take, take. I would sit her down and talk with her and tell her how you feel and let her know that if things don't start changing and she doesn't even act like she's trying, then you're going to have to call it quits. It's not fair to you because you're obviously unhappy. Sacrificing for a relationship is too much when you're the only one that's doing it.

Answer 4

If you both truly love each other than you need to figure out why you argue so much. It doesn't sound like you are on the same page, if you were there wouldn't be so much arguing. You cannot live with someone who is always jealous. Do you give her a reason to be jealous? It's ok not to have outside friends, but if it's because of her jealousy than that is not healthy. Maybe you both need some counseling. I think the bottom line is are you happy? If not, get out of that relationship. Two people in love are suppose to show they are and not constantly argue.

Answer 5

if you are having these problems at 3-4 yrs and worried about staying with her bc of the time u have invested think of it this way....it it better to stay together for 30-40 yrs just bc of a percentage of the time or move on to someone else u would enjoy spending the time with and not have to worry about time invested (it should be flying by and u not getting enough of it) plus the romance (puppy love) of a relationship usually lasts 2 yrs. so after that point u begin to have to really work at it (love doesnt just happen, contrary to belief). and if ur having these problems now, imagine in a few yrs or so...when u both get tired of trying to work at it and have given up.

Answer 6

How many MORE years do you want to live with the high stress?
Yes, you've invested time. Yes, you would miss her. But would you miss the arguing and stress?
The sooner you get out of the situation, the sooner you may find a more compatible relationship.

Answer 7

Well, is it something that you CAN deal with? I mean, in every relationship there are ups and downs, and each time you learn more and more about what you can live with, and what you can't. It does seem as though you need to do some serious soul-searching and decide for yourself if all of this is worth it. Best of luck. :-)

Answer 8

I am not going to write you an essay like everyone else I am just going to say unless you are 83 and she changes your diapers you don’t need her. You have had 4 years of learning what you want from a woman and you need to move on to someone that will make you happy so you don’t have to ask questions like this!

Answer 9

i have main thing to say, are you HAPPY, if you are unhappy with life becuse of your relationship then end it, if you beleave you are happy then you can do things to cut the argueing down, first if its pittly dumb things that you are agrueing bout, it takes two to tango, just stop argueing, two you can talk to her bout it, just sit down with her can brace her, and very nicely ask y do we argue so much, ask her if she is happy, the more you can talk the less the argueing, and even if its hard just bight your tounge sometimes to stop an arguement from even starting, if its somehting dumb

Answer 10

DAMN IT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH BUT I THINK THAT IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER AND WANT THINGS TO WORK YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER AND LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL IF SHE LOVES YOU SHE WILL LISTEN AND CONSIDER YOUR FEELINGS IF SHE DOESN'T THEN MAYBE IT COULD JUST BE TIME TO LET IT GO. MY MOTHER TOLD ME ONE TIME THAT PEOPLE ARE LIKE BRANCHES SOME ARE LIKE THE THIN ONES AT THE TOP THAT WILL BE THERE FOR A WHILE TEACH YOU A LESSON AND LEAVE WHILE OTHERS ARE STURDY AND STRONG AND WILL BE WITH YOU FOREVER. IDK EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT BY IT BUT HEY MAYBE IT JUST WASN'T MEANT TO BE TOGETHER MAYBE THINGS WILL WORK OUT BUT YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY BEFORE YOU LET HER GO BECAUSE SHE COULD BE ONE OF THE STURDY ONES