I grew up in a 3rd world country. Back home my class mates hated me. I am short, skinny and very dark. I was too dark for my people. My older sister is tall and light skinned. After we moved to the U.S. my older sister became the center of attentiion. Everyone thought she was pretty. At family get together everyone would talk to her. My cousins looked up to her. I was a nobody back then. I was alway in the corner unnoticed. She went out on dates with many men of different ethnic backgrounds. No body asked me out on dates. Now my sis is married to guy from our culture. She has acouple of kids and has put on a little weight. I am engaged to a wonderful white guy who things I am so beautiful. When he met my sis he didn't complement on her looks like other men do when they meet her for the first time. Now my sis doesn't like my guy. And she keeps asking me if he has said anything about her. He thinks I am alot prettier than my sis. I am unhappy that my sis doesn't like my fiancee.
2006-11-09 03:39:33 · 19 answers · asked by Need H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From the look of things, your sister is a pretty vain and self-centred person (unlike you).
You should really appreciate that this guy in your life is a genuine one who loves the 'Real You'. Very few people are as lucky as you are to get such true love. DON'T LET HIM GO AT ANY COST.
As far as your sister is concerned, try to develop a relationship with her that is more than just 'skin-deep and cosmetic'. Tell her that your fiancee is really special for you and just because he doesn't whim your sister's fancies -- that doesn't make him a lesser guy.
Don't pay too much attention to your sister's comments about this guy --- Remember you can't and don't need to please everybody.
Just let her be and I'm sure with time she'll accept this quite easily because psychology of such people says that superfluous people are poor at holding on to grudges for too long.
BEST OF LUCK with this man...
2006-11-09 03:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by Himalayan Mystic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I think you should feel sorry for your sister, she has obviously built her whole sense of self worth on her looks. Now she can't stand that someone would not find her attractive, because then it brings up the question of "who am I if I'm not beautiful?" I think that if your sister keeps asking if your fiance has said anything about her, tell her he thinks she's really nice, or smart, something that nothing to do with her looks. She's fishing for compliments, and you can feed her something nice, w/o giving her what she wants.
If your sis still doesn't like your man, its not your prob, you've obviously got the better deal, because you are secure.
Try encouraging your sister to develop other aspects of herself, and hopefully she will learn that she has value other that how she looks
2006-11-09 11:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your and your man are happy that is all that really matters, but i see what is upsetting you. Perhaps just here a little white lie is in order...say that your man did say that her husband was lucky to have her..or something like that. And make sure to tell your man what u r doing..he might have better ideas. If he doesnt like the white lie idea then tell your sister how angry and hurt you r at her for not being happy for you and with what she has. Just tell him how you feel and dont be afraid to yell cuz that will help get the point across. Good luck.
2006-11-09 11:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by mybizyagottaknowthat2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry too much about her. She is just mad that he finds you attractive since she was used to getting all the attention for herself. Once she realizes that SHE is not the only beautiful creature on the Earth, she will leave you alone. As long as you are happy with him, that is all that matters. Everyone is beautiful to someone, and not everyone likes the same type of look. Be happy that you have a great man and let your sister work out her own internal issues. She might be self-conscious about putting on weight, looking for attention, and getting angry that she is not getting it.
2006-11-09 11:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jasmine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should choose the guy and worry about your sister later she will come around and realize that you want to be happy to. she has her man along with kids its your turn for happiness i think your sister is a little jealous because as you said she has put on weight,married with kids she doesnt have the confidence that she had before maybe try doing something special for your sister from you and your new man.
2006-11-09 11:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by ruth b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be unhappier if your fiance likes your sister. Who cares about what she thinks? You are the "ugly duckling" who got her a man, and now she can't take it because he doesn't compliment her on her looks??!?!? Sounds to me like she has a problem with security. Her looks is all she has going for her. Do not worry about what makes her happy. Marry your fiance and love him, without worrying about what your sister thinks. Your fiance is your love and she shouldn't have to worry about what he thinks of her looks.
2006-11-09 11:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by vanityspice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister is all about herself...Well just tell her that not everyone thinks she is pretty..She will just have to get used to it..You were always the one who looked on well now it is her turn and she isn't liking it...Just because your fiance didn't fall at her feet...She needs to get over herself..You go girl..Good Luck and Best Wishes
2006-11-09 11:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister has had her time to shine and you have remained humble. Ignore her and move on with your own life. Why is she concerned about YOUR fiancee? She sounds like a real B**ch. Tell her to get a life!
2006-11-09 11:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by hersheekysses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say thats her problem, she so use to ppl saying oh your this and your that and when one does not notice her she freaks, too bad for her, I would tell her the world does not revolve around her, and if she does not like my man then its her problem and she has to deal with it not me, cause he loves me and thinks I am better then she is. Thats what really matters is your man loving you, no reason for him to love your hole family, all that matters is you and no one else. Good Luck!
2006-11-09 11:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She really needs to get over herself. Even if you're the most beautiful person in the world, not everyone will think they are...i.e your sister. Tell her not EVERYONE will compliment her.
2006-11-09 11:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋