He's so jealous but also he is starting to try and control me. in the beginning he used to say he wanted me to come out of myself, that he would make me happy, and i should trust and lean on him. he wanted to protect me, and for me to need him. to let go for the first time because he would be there for me. loads of stuff like that. NOW, he is always blaming me for things. even for not being right there when his Grandma died. for not answering the phone fast enough, gets upset with me for sounding happy when he's not there. he got upset at me for not telling him what was up one second after he asked and he had a problem with it for 3 days, said it's my fault we cant share anymore. if i tell him anything, he just says 'you know you can blame yourself for that'. then the rest of the time he is lovely, loving, funny, sexy, and i can see what i saw in him but i think i've had enough. what do you think i should do?
2006-11-09 03:33:51 · 16 answers · asked by sleepyme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
LIKE I STATED BEFORE IN ONE OF YOUR QUESTIONS, I LOOKED AT YOUR PROFILE AND MOST YOUR QUESTIONS ARE GEARED THE SAME. YOU GET GOOD ADVISE AND YET YOU STAY WITH HIM AND ASK THE SAME TYPE OF QUESTIONS. ARE YOU WAITING FOR AN ANSWER YOU YOU WANT TO HEAR OR SHOULD BE HEARING?
2006-11-12 22:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by brxny2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should get out of the relationship asap. I know that is a lot easier said than done, but do you really want to deal with that for the rest of your life? I mean, if it is just over little pety things right now then think of how much worse it will get later. You should not EVER "need" someone, don't ever put yourself in the situation where you can not "lean" on yourself. He sounds very controlling and as if he just needs someone to blame for everything and that is not a relationship that anyone deserves to be in. Find someone better. I am sure that you would have not even posted this question if you were happy, be with someone that makes you happy more than they make you sad. Tell him if he wants to control something to get a dog! I think that you should also kinof distance yourself from him if you do decide to break up with him....someone like that may have a temper that you have never seen before that could be dangerous to you.
Good luck!
2006-11-09 03:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by TNL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've had enough. Maybe he'll realize what he's lost once you're gone. There is never a reason to be treated like that. That's a form of abuse. Verbal abuse. He obviously has some issues of his own and takes them out on you. He needs to deal with them. Stand up for yourself. Don't let him control you. No one controls you but you. Let him know that. Don't give in to his comments. You may need to step back from the situation. You may need a break. If he's difficult to discuss this with you probably should break away. He may come back around and change his ways. If so great. If not move on and find someone else that appreciates and respects you. A friend once told me and I use this in many situations Weigh the good and the bad. Write it out on paper so you see it. If there are more bad points than good. It's not good. Don't let your feelings for him blind you to the reality. It will only escalate if you let it go on.
2006-11-09 03:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is, this man cannot and has not been able to give you the care and support you deserve when you've needed it the most. You can hope it gets better, but trust me, it wont. It is not about you, its him and you cant make him different. GET OUT NOW before you waste more years of your life in a life that would be filled with pain. Sure it hurts, but the man you care about doesn't really exist.
2006-11-09 03:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My x was like that. Run. Fast as you can. It was hard to see that he was actually destroying my self esteem. He seemed to want me to step out and do things for myself, but it had to be sanctioned by him. He seemed to be very nurturing, but it was actually corroding, controlling behavior.
I ended up feeling like I couldn't do better, that maybe he knows whats best, I had very little self esteem left.
It took me awhile to see how bad it really was,
I would hate to see another woman in that same situation.
Good luck, I hope this helps you make your decision
2006-11-09 03:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and talk to him... and tell him how u feel and if u doesnt want to listen to u.. and he keep doing the same things then just tell him its over and u cant be with someone who's contorlling and upsest...
LIL MISS VIXION
2006-11-09 03:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by LIL MISS VIXION 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is going to get worse the longer you are with him. Becarefuk because he might become dangerous.
2006-11-09 03:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say give it another try. if you find someone else, maybe he's not controlling but may not have all the good qualities your current bf has.
2006-11-09 03:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by little asian gal in cresent city 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not good
thats how they trap you, by wanting you to lean on them for everything and expecting you to jump when they say to jump.
get out
2006-11-09 03:40:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him now. Cheat on him so he gets a clue.
2006-11-09 03:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋