I have a five year old only child. She has many cousins that she plays with regularly. She is in KG and goes to after school care ( her father and i both work full time). So many people I meet ( as well as family members) tell me that I should have at least one more child and that we are being selfish to raise her alone. We dont want more children. Are we being selfish to rise her as a only child?
2006-11-09 03:04:04 · 22 answers · asked by DEBBY'S BABY 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Truthfully, you probably are being a little selfish. That being said, a child (as you know) is a huge responsibility. I don't think you should have another ONLY to give your daugther a sibling. A sibling is an irreplacable person in one's life, it is usually the person that one has the longest relationship of their life with. They teach a kid many things that no one else can.
Again, if you REALLY don't want another child, don't have one.
2006-11-09 03:12:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that from reading the other people's responses that you get the idea that choosing the number of children that suits you and your family is YOUR decision!
I am an only child, both my parents work... I have to admit there were times in my life that I wished I had a brother or sister to play with, but my mom (who is 2nd of 8 siblings) would tell me that I would wish I didnt have any siblings to have to share my things with.
So is the glass half full or half empty? because really there are pro's & cons to every decision we make in life, but we choose what is best for us.
As for me, Im pregnant right now with my second child, because I wanted a bigger family then the one I had.
Another thought, a elder friend of mine once pointed out to me, that once my parents pass away, I will be an orphan without siblings to share the greif with and childhood memories, and that was tough to swallow. But then again My husband and his brother barely talk, and when they do they dont get along...
Do what you think is best in your heart!
2006-11-09 04:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by Why? ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being selfish. How many children you have or don't have is a personal choice. My husband and I are planning to raise our daughter as an only child. I was an only child myself, and I personally think that it had a lot of benefits. I had more privacy, I had my parents full attention when I was upset or had a problem, and I learned how to enjoy my own company. I've never felt cheated by not having a sibling. As long as your daughter has plenty of opportunities to associate with kids her own age she'll be just fine.
2006-11-09 03:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by AshletD 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I love large families but it is wrong for me to enforce that on you. You are not selfish. Raising you child well can be done with or without siblings. I think people need to mind their own business. There are many well adjusted only children who have very happy, fulfilled and successful lives.
I encounter the opposite scorn. Many people ask when I will stop having kids. (Don't you think that's enough??? - I only have three and this is coming from strangers sometimes!!)
How many kids you have does not make you selfish! Enjoy your child and tell everyone to mind their own business.
2006-11-09 03:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by artimis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not. Only you and your husband can make the decision as to how many children you want to have. No one has the right to tell you otherwise.
You should tell the people that don't agree with you that you feel it is selfish to have more children than you want just to get others to shut up.
2006-11-09 03:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - you could argue that introducing a second child would be selfish - it can have a very negative impact on the first one. Don't worry - just do what you think is right for your family. Nobody has the right to influence your decision apart from you and your partner - not even your child. Good luck!
2006-11-09 03:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Brian_Jacobs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are not being selfish. How many kids you have is strictly the choice of your husband and yourself. Only children do just fine. If she has a lot of family members and friends, she is not missing out on anything. Don't have another child to please others. That would not be fair to you.
2006-11-09 03:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by schoolot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, that is not selfish that is having solid views on your parental responsiblity to your child and any children you may or may not have in the future!
Your family needs to realize you are not a baby factory, dont get pregnant if you dont want a baby and be done with it!
2006-11-09 03:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being selfish. Keep this in mind- people may choose to NOT have babies for "selfish" reasons, but people also HAVE babies for "selfish" reasons. In other words, people have babies because they want to. People don't have babies because they don't want to. What's the difference?
There are benefits to being an only child, and there are detriments, too, but if you do your best to combat them then she is no worse off than any other kid.
2006-11-09 03:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 26 year old only child and I've always HATED it. Yes, I think my parents were selfish. I would never do that to my kids, I plan on having two. I was so lonely and I felt awful - used to cry myself to sleep at night praying for a sibling, never happened though.
2006-11-09 03:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋