When I was very little, an adult man (don't remember who) sexually assault me. I still have a the this unclear memory and I can't delete it out. What is the best way for me to forgot this memory. Also, I start to like person who is same sex with me during the childhood, am I gay ? I don't want to be gay becasue I have been married with my lovely wife for 3 years already and I really love her. However, there is a dark side of me. I am still attracted by man although I love my wife more than anything. I hate myself, why I am becoming like this. Some researches said it is probably relate to early childhood sex abuse and assault. Thank you for read
2006-11-09 02:06:14 · 11 answers · asked by Nate L 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have seen counselor before and it doesn't work for me. I hate myself because I didn't tell my wife about it until I made an huge mistake with another guy. I told my wife about the my incident with other man and my wfie (was my girlfriend that time) said it is O.K. (actually she locked the feeling inside her). She try not to expose the feeling because my emtional was very weak after I told her about it. I thought about breaking up with her, I thought about killing myself, I thought about running away. But she didn't allow me to do it. She stopped me. Few days ago, she told me that she actually care about it, especially when we are having sex. She will image the moment that I was with another man. She said she is also a victim for it. What can I do ? I don't want to be like this for all my marriage, My marriage will eventually break up ? I love her so much and I am so afraid to loss her. Thinking about killing myself, but I want to try my best to not kill myself. Thanks to all
2006-11-09 03:01:11 · update #1
Timeline: Been relationship for 4 years (1998 ~ 2002), Experience with roommate (2002), Married (2004), Now (2006)
2006-11-09 03:04:21 · update #2
The researchers are likely right. I too, was molested as a child, and it tormented my life for years. Bottom line Friend, when this kind of trauma happens to us, eventually, we all need counselling for it. Don't ever feel ashamed, because you did nothing wrong, and trust me, counselling will give you back your life. Perhaps, the abuse did make you attracted to same sex. I've been told (by my counsellor) that I was fortunate, and that a lot of times we will be either very promiscuous or attracted to same sex. Get yourself some help, because sooner or later, it gets us.God bless, and take care of you.
2006-11-09 02:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a good therapist as soon as possible. The best ones, the ones who really care about people will allow you a 10-15 min session over the phone before you actually go into their office. It will help you a lot in deciding which one is best for you.
2006-11-09 02:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are very much a normal person who has been assulted. A lot of it can be due to the fact that you cant remember who he was. The best advice I can give you is go under hypnosis to erase this memory. Or go to counseling to cope with all the issues from it. It worked for me.
2006-11-09 02:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very real and deep issue. I would make an appointment to see a psychologist or some sort of sexual abuse concelor. You may want to tell your wife what you are feeling so she can be supportive of you when you go for help.
2006-11-09 02:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Old memories eating u inside...
U only need to share it with someone, like posting it on yahoo ans is a good start.
Talk about to your wife n as other people have advised, seek professional help if need b...
gud luck.!
2006-11-09 02:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Sean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to someone about this. Try and find someone you can relate all these memories to. Do not suppress them, you need to talk about them. Understand your feelings and then you will understand why you feel the way you do. Try and talk with your wife about what you are feeling and thinking. Think hard about it. And you will find your solutions.
2006-11-09 02:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a shrink ASAP. Your repressed memories might be a precursor to something even more treacherous, and you need therapy and meds for you to cope with these memories. Good luck.
2016-05-22 00:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How you feel is probably "normal", considering your circumstances. If you talk with a therapist, he/she can probably help you with the past memories and help sort out your present feelings.
2006-11-09 02:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by doug k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to forget it, you need to confront it or it will always be there waiting to haunt you. You need to seek professional advice and involve your partner! It needs dealing with or you wouldn't be feeling the way you are.
2006-11-09 02:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your past does not equal your future.
Also forgiveness is the answer forgive yourself, the person, and your family for not protecting you.
Say this prayer 3 times a day for 90 days
Jesus please pray with me as I pray for forgiveness for those who have brought evil into my life I also forgive myself for holding on to the guilt. Please release me and protect me and my family as you have promise thru the blood of Jesus Amen
2006-11-09 02:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋