This family member has known about a kidney problem since birth and has not taken care of herself. She is overweight and I am afraid she will return to her unhealthy lifestyle after surgery. I on the other hand don't drink or smoke and have always strived to lead a healthy lifestyle. I want to help but she has never helped herself. She has always trashed her body and now she wants others to sacrifice for her. Am I now the selfish one?
2006-11-09 01:45:26 · 12 answers · asked by Not anyone you know 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
What Would Jesus do? He would give it to her. If it was me and I had to ask my self that question, I would give her the kidney on one condition that she has to agree not to drink or smoke after she gets the kidney. I would have her to sign a legal document if possible and then go from there. I have a aunt who needs a liver and if I could give her part of mine I would. I just believe in helping others weather or not they want to help them selves.
2006-11-09 01:52:37 · answer #1 · answered by njacobs7477 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-17 10:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by Ruben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-23 18:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be a wonderful opportunity for both of you. Go through the testing first and find out if you are a match. Then if you are, sit down with her and make a deal. Tell her you want to help but on one condition, that she commits to taking better care of herself. That you see your kidney as an investment in her doing wonderful things with her life and you don't want your investment being wasted. And that she can expect you to get in her face if you see her falling back into her old ways.
Don't pull your punches on this, but be supportive. This is basically an "intervention." Be prepared to follow through on that promise. If you give her a kidney you have every right to be brutally honest with her, which I suspect most of the rest of her family and friends have not done.
When all is said and done, if you give her the kidney, she will do what she will do. But there is nothing like a life crisis to force one to look at one's decisions. You could be the tipping point to help her turn around her life.
Good luck to you both.
2006-11-09 02:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem, my kidneys... I have been having kidney stones and lots of pain most of my life as well... I don't know if any of my family would or could donate a kidney for me. I wouldn't want to ask them either. The thing you want to find out is if you are "compatible" to be her donor. There are sometimes when even family members are not able to donate organs... If you are tested and it comes back positive, then that is up to you, and how much you love this person and want to help them. I know that from your comments, she is not as concerned as you are about healthy lifestyles... but you cannot give an organ to her on condition of her way of life.. if you do donate a kidney it should be from unconditional love for her.. but you could tell her that you want to help her, and by giving her a part of yourself. You are showing her that you love her and want her to change her way of living so she can live a fuller, better, healthier life with your gift of the kidney to make that possible. It's not wrong to feel selfish when you have done all you can to take care of yourself, even if others haven't but you have a chance of helping make their life better and probably somewhat longer as well... It's your choice!
2006-11-09 01:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you would have to be a donor match to even consider giving this person your kidney. If you are a match then you need to decide. Is this someone you are really close too? Does she understand that she has aggrevated her own kidney problems? Will she have emotional support following surgery? I would talk to her and to the doctors involved and make a very educated decision. Good luck!
2006-11-09 01:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by tessasmomy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO ONE CAN HELP HER, AS SHE HAS TO HELP HERSELF. IT SOUNDS TO ME SHE NEEDS COUNSELING, EVEN BEFORE SHE CAN ACCEPT A NEW KIDNEY FROM ANY MATCH. MOST DRS WILL AGREE TO MAKE SURE THE PATIENT GETS A GOOD DEAL OF COUNSELING BEFORE SURGERY. AT THIS POINT IN HER LIFE, SHE MOST LIKELY WILL ACCEPT A DONATION, AND UNFORTUNATELY, HER LIFESTYLE WILL NOT CHANGE. THERE ARE SO MANY PATIENTS NEEDING TRANSPLANTS, THEY HAVE BEEN ON THE LIST FOR YEARS LOOKING FOR MATCHES AND WILL NEVER LIVE TO SEE SURGERY, IF YOU ARE WILLING TO DONATE ONE OF YOUR KIDNEYS, DO IT ANONYMOUSLY. THERE WILL BE A LIFE SAVED WHO WILL BE APPRECIATIVE AS LONG AS THEY LIVE!
2006-11-09 02:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by brxny2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heal Kidney Disease Forever : http://www.NaturallyGo.com
2015-05-12 22:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by Stephen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother was an organ donor and when she died we got a letter stating how much better she made the lives of those who got her organs. Think how good that would feel to do it for someone you know and can be around to love and support
2006-11-09 02:10:13 · answer #9 · answered by blzabobb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and find out what she wants and try to help her change her life style. Not all of us can maintain our weight and some diseases cause you to be over weight.
2006-11-09 01:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by c0mplicated_s0ul 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋