What's wrong with Parental Notification?

Question

This question in regards to proposition 85, which was just voted down in California requiring that parents be notified before their child has a abortion. I admit I am for the most part against abortion, however I can't for the life of me understand why people wouldn't DEMAND to be aware if their daughter, their CHILD under the age of 18, is going in for any surgical procedure.

Please I don't want to turn this question into a political battlefield, I just want parents views on the subject.

Thanks

I agree Rebecca. In California Children under the age of 18 can have a abortion w/out their parents even knowing. Crazy huh. Then again it looks like I am in the minority on this one since the Prop did get voted down.

Great responses, thanks everyone. Here is what I have gathered, It seems like people against parental notification main concern is the physical well being of the teem mom (that this might be a incest relationship w/father, or that if her parents find out they would beat the tar out of them) Even though I know abuse such as this does happen, I would have to believe this is more of a rarity rather than the norm.

Voting No on this proposition IMHO is punishing the great majority for the lesser minority. This doesn't make sense. We need more strict laws against sexual abuse, and tougher laws protecting children against physical abuse should they get pregnant. Nobody should get physical with a child who is carrying potential human life.

I am in the same boat with those of you who wonder how a child needs their parents permission for everything, but when it comes to something major like a surgical procedure, we are kept out of the loop. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

Answer 1

This is ridiculous. Underage kids can't consent to have their ears pierced, vote, buy Sudafed decongestant, or get a tattoo so obviously the consensus is kids this age aren't capable of making big decisions. So what makes abortion an easier, simpler decision than getting your ears pierced?

A 15 year old cannot consent to sex, so a pregnant 15 year old is quite possibly the victim of a crime (unless the dad is 15 too). The same people who would allow the girl to hide the proof she had sex with a 25 year old man are the same people who would want to jail the guy.

Where's the logic? If she is old enough to have an abortion without her parent's consent, then isn't she old enough to decide if she is going to have sex?

Following this logic, I suggest that the age for consent be lowered to the same age a girl can have an abortion without a parent's consent.

Tell someone that 14 year old girl is capable of deciding to have sex with a 40 year old man and most reasonable people are repulsed. Yet somehow these same reasonable people think a 14 year old girl should have an abortion without her parents knowledge or support.

Ask a reasonable person why they don't support PN and they tout the rare examples of girls raped by their dads, abusive families, medical emergencies, etc. All of these exceptions are covered under the law and girls can even have a judge okay the procedure.

This brings us back to maturity and consent---if she is mature enough to decide to have an abortion, she should be mature enough to talk to a judge about it.

The abortion lobby has done its job well convincing the general public to ignore their common sense and allow children to make medical decisions.

Answer 2

Well, if I were under 18, I wouldn't want parental consent for an abortion. That would mean that my parents would have the power to force me to have a child. Especially in the case of incest which is more common than I realized. The world we live in is ugly enough. An abortion on a child is much safer than delivery of a child. Teens that are pregnant are considered high risk pregnancies and have a greater chance of mortality and morbidity than women of approriate age. Are we to enforce pregnancy by perhaps incarcerating mothers who need abortions? Ok that was extreme. Have a nice day.

Answer 3

It's my belief A LOT of parents out there DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEIR CHILDREN.
They want to believe theirs are good kids that are not sexually active - don't have any thoughts toward experimenting with drugs - just go to school and do what they are told.
I don't mean to sound cynical or nasty - my son is 18 yrs old. I had him when I was 15 yrs old. So I have been what I would call a pretty realistic parent. I have NEVER told him NO NO NO about many things because I have always felt that could lead to some real rebellion - with him thinking I'm a complete hypocrite.
I HAVE always been there for him to discuss OPENLY and 100% honestly any topic he felt he needed to talk about.
As uncomfortable as it was - starting at a young age I talked to him (age appropriate of course!) about dating, marriage, monogamy, disease, families (in all their forms) Mom's and Dad's and the mistakes we make. When I didn't know the answer we'd look for it together. I've always taken his opinions seriously.
I'm proud to say we have a very close relationship - don't get me wrong - I'm strict! Something I feel I didn't have that contributed to some of my own bad choices...
My son has just bee awarded Eagle Scout :) He felt comfortable (a yr or so ago) to tell me when he had his 1st kiss - and how great he felt and excited he was! Also said he was grateful for the rules I had put in place - "without those it would be kind of easy I think for thing between her and I to go to far, I see now how you could lose your head"

I am reasonably sure if abortion or pregnancy ever became/become an issue I would know - he would tell me. I have tried to make talking to me a comfortable and a good source all his life.

During the summer my house has 3-4 boys from 9-10am until as late as 11pm at night ALL SUMMER! I'm SO GLAD my son is here, and that his friends feel comfortable and have fun here - but it's often made me sad that none of the parents ever say a word about them being here MUCH MORE THAN THEY ARE HOME!

Watching some of his friends and their parents though and a lot of my experiences with the public school system and parents - I honestly have found many of them don't have much of a relationship with their teenagers. They don't seem to want to know. They are happy believing they are close and things are good although they never talk. 5 mins after school "How are things?" good. Is about it.

A friend of my sons who has talked to me about girls and dating and birth control - which IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE talking to someone Else's child, you don't know if you are helping to back up what they want their children to know!?!? - he is about to turn 18 in 2 months. They've been friends since they were 10 so we know each other well. His mom was talking to me a few weeks ago and said "_____ hasn't actually noticed girls yet - Thank God."
I was shocked - blown away. I don't think it matters how good of Christians you are or how much you go to church. To believe your 17yr old son "hasn't noticed girls yet!?!" Maybe I am cynical - or "expect the worst from kids" I don't think I do - but I find that unbelievable.

That was an example to me - yet again - of a parent that doesn't actually want to really KNOW their child. It's more important to her that her beliefs stay in tact and that she not be asked to leave her comfort zone!

I believe there are probably a LOT of parents out there that would much rather never know if their daughter had an abortion - they'd prefer she deal with that pain and horror on her own. So they can keep their illusions in tact.

I know this sounds very negative and I'm sorry for that - it just bothers me so much when people have children yet don't seem to want to really be involved with them.

Answer 4

There is absolutely nothing wrong with parent notification. Abortion is wrong and for some young girl to find herself in this situation is most definitely not in the frame of minnd she should be to make this decision by herself or GOD HELP HER the misguided help of those who encourage abortions.(like they are really going to be objective) Telling the girls parents is the only right way to handle these situations. How can they support her if they don't know? This is a family matter, let the family deal with it.

Answer 5

Parental Notification shouldn't be required because some parents have a religious or very critical view against pre-marital sex. Some women feel its unsafe to speak to their parents about this. They feel even more unsafe to speak to them about pregnancy.

Women have committed suicide because they wern't able to get an abortion without parental notification and couldn't live with the fact that they'd have a child out of wedlock.

I believe women over the age of 15 should be able to make the decision for themselves whether or not they want to keep the child.

More parents need to have an open dialogue with their children about sex and sexual activity.

If the child feels safe enough to talk to their parents in the first place, parental notification wouldn't even be proposed as necessary.

What if it was the raping boyfriend or father that caused the pregnancy in the first place and notifcation was mandatory?

Answer 6

That's crazy. A child under 18 can't vote, live on their own, or assume any legal adult responsibilities, yet they are allowed to end a pregnancy without parental notification? I agree that consent should not be mandatory but the parents have to know what's going on. They have to be made aware that their child has chosen to do this. No wonder parents are afraid to discipline their kids, or stand up for their kids' rights anymore, the government is eating away at the role of parent, they are making it illegal to be a parent. Maybe I'm exaggerating her a little bit, but when you take away a parent's right to know what's going on in their child's life, you take away their ability to parent, you take away their role as number one authority figure, you take away the role of household leader.

Answer 7

Because there are times when a child knows their saftey is at stake, and if they tell their parents they are pregnant, they'll be beaten into a miscarriage. It has happened more than once. That is the unfortunate reality of abusive households. In most circumstances, yes, I would like to think that a young lady will talk to at least her mother about the situation and look to mom for guidance, but sometimes that's not possible and it is better for the family to NOT know. It has nothing to do with politics. It has to do with abusive households.

Answer 8

I would not want my parents to find out
IF I had to have a abortion without their consent its because we do not communicate at all anyhow
Also if I had to have a abortion its because my parents and I never had the sex talk or they wouldn't allow me to go on birth control

for whatever reason.. if there is no communication between and teen and her parent/s it for a reason..
and not the kids fault
some parents are just crappy mean non communicative judgmental parents

Answer 9

I'm on the fence with this one. I think parents should be notified but consent should not have to be given. If a girl wants an abortion, she has the right to do so. her parents should not have the right to deny the procedure.

I also think the age should be lowered to girls under 16 needing their parents to be notified.

Answer 10

I would want to know if something like that were going to happen. If they are under 18, they are still a child and parental notification should be required and parents should have to sign a consent form. I hope we have taught our children well enough that we never have to face anything like this, but we will discuss all avenues with them including safe sex so I would hope they would come to me on their own.