Should parents give humiliating punishments?

Question

Some parents give their kids very humiliating punishments. I know a 17 yo girl that messed up, drank, joined bad crowds and got a cruel punishment. Sher has to wear rag clothes, spends every saturday and sundays doing housework, is grounded from everything she likes and has to do chores for her sister. Other parents don't go so far but resort to long and strict groundings that spoil their kids lives and emotional stabilty. Other spank, or spank and in addition give other punisments.At 14 I can't understand such things. Punishment is sometmes necessary, but if given by parents it should be out of love. Why do parents give such punishments, don't they love their kids? Harsh punishments coming from parents brings about resentment and destroy emotional stabilty, for parents should be our primary and uncontional source of love. Why is this not the case? I myself have had a strong resentment towards my parents for a year, though technically wasn´t abused. But our relationship is destroyed

I'm sure the 17-year-old girl I mentioned will hate, or at least resent their parents for life. Her self esteem is low and she's getting into depression. Too harsh punishments cause depression and low self esteem. My God, parents should be able to forgive

Answer 1

some parents only give what they receive from their parents.
education comes from parent to parent. and it,s very similar ,one from another.
some punishments are hard in did.
some times they give a punishment just because thei are upset with something else, our just are tired of saying things so it pass from the verbal to fisic.
it changes the reason all the time .
but punishment should at home were we have our education and not in the public.
with that punishment they will get a troubled child , with a trauma and with severe social problems in the future.
Yes, some times we have to give a fisical punishment, but that,s not the answer for the problem because it WILL NO give him an EDUCATION, but instead it will give him FEAR.
PUNISHMENT IS NOT EDUCATION.

Answer 2

I agree parents should be able forgive but then the teen needs to make a change and grow up. Its a two way street. Punishment for doing something wrong plays no factor in self esteem !!! If someone is dense enough to keep doing wrong things, the self esteem issue was in place far before the trouble started!

When my son was little he took a piece of candy from a store which i found out about on the ride home. I turned around, made him apologize and pay for the candy. It was humiliating FOR ME and for him. He never did it again or at least in my presence. A little humiliation goes along way. My teen was an angel and we have fabulous relationship due to me talking to him openly and honestly.

More teens should try being honest with parents rather than placing blame on them for everything wrong in their lives. Parents love their kids and only want them to be a good person. Parents have bad days too!! A little respect goes along way.

Answer 3

not humiliating punishment, but you want to correct the child, you don't want your kid to be wasted in his/ her life afterwards. what you do is discipline, not punishments,
a kid doesn't do the homework and don't like to go to school have him work in the house, and tell him why you did that,
tell the kid if you don't finish school, give examples of the poor, people, struggling everyday just to eat,... that temporary fun they have in teenage life will be only there as long as parents are there, if there are no parents how they will live,


if the kid goes in the wrong crowd, don't give him money, as in nada, he can't be drunk, or a friend helps him he'll be annoyed afterwards because the friends is such a parasite...

discipline is the key for the kids to live a normal life, even if your gone, you aresure that they can involve in the society the right way

Answer 4

I do not think that is fair. I am 12 year old girl and i do not like either to be punished and always i am humiliatid if i am to be punished but more am embarissed over bad thing i do and not punishing i get. I get strict grounding and spanked very hard but i still know my parents do love me much and want me to grow up to be great lady. And i think when i am punished it is from love even though i not like it.

Answer 5

Kiddo,

Some parents may go too far , others not far enough!

The trick is to get the kid to see the error and realize that the "crime" isn't worth the punishment to try to keep the child from making the same or worse mistake again!

Yup from time to time the "outta the box" approach is called for to get the kids attention...... I knew a man who dressed his kids in all pink sweat clothes ... after catching the trading the "good clothes" he and his wife had purchased. they (it would seem) didn't get the correct label on the clothing...so the kids were not fitting in...... he did teach them to be grateful for what they had and if the wanted a name brand item ..to this day the work and spend their own cash for it.

But they were wearing pink clothing for weeks ...... Yes it was humiliating... but they learned a lesson about the value of things.

The whole parenting role is trying to keep your kids from growing up and becoming road kill on the super highway of life .... and yes parents are people too .. they make mistakes...most try out of love for their kids to make it better for them.

Try harder to not be a torn under the saddle.......

Answer 6

I think some times a little humiliation works best. When my daughter would get ready for school in the living room she would always leave her dirty underwear on the floor for me to pick up later. No matter how many times I reminded her she wouldn't put them away. So finally I said next time I'll hang them on the front door. If she left them out again after that I would hang them on the light post and if there were a next time I would hang them on the mailbox for all to see. They got as far as the light post. When she realized I wasn't joking she never left them in the living room again and thats been almost five years.

Answer 7

Well, you are right, parents shouldn't resort to such harsh methods to punish their kids, but there are times when enough is enough. I'm not a parents, I'm only 18, but I understand when parents don't know what to do, they have to resort to a last and final method. Believe me, her parents are kind compared to my how my grandparents were with my dad. They beat him with a stick, or whipped him w/ an electrical cord. They made him bend on grave with his bare knees. Yes it was pretty bad. Don't compare her treatment to this. Its not the same.

Answer 8

Whatever it take to keep my child in line is what I will do so to each its own If the act up on the parents then the parents should act up on them. And that doesn't mean you don't love them your not gonna get me in a public play and act like you have lost your mind, And if you do then I'm gonna lose mine to. I found this to work and it's not that my child is scared at all when we are at home and you wanna throw a fit then go ahead but when were out you dont do that. They will thank me later

Answer 9

I guess I'd have to say it was the occasional bare-bottom hairbrush spanking in a store or some other public place, but I never thought of them as humiliating at the time.

Answer 10

Aside from harsh physical punishment sometimes parents must resort to what is called "tough love" in order to control their children. I am sure that at your age you look at all punishment as being cruel and unjust but let's see your view on things when you get older and have children of your own.