I dont want to LOSE HIM.....Need serious ADVICE/ANSWERS?

Question

Dear Everyone,

I have been in a online LDR for about two months now. just the past couple of weeks, things have been really confusing. It seems as if we both have soo much on our plates. There was a moment, when i really felt like speaking with him, and I kept calling him over and over, till he called back (he mentioned that he is busy and would call back in a few) the few minutes turned out being 13 hrs later. I got really frustrated, coz he always, doesnt have the courtesy to return phone calls on time. I wrote him an email, and said that I am just confused on how things are, and if he is just ignoring me or something, do let me know. He called back hurt, and we made up --- since then, we had plans to meet on a certain day, I had to cancel coz my daughters recital was gonna happen(we both got children). he took that offensive, and i was joking around that when we speak during the odd hours of the night, i sometimes am half asleep, he took that offensive, he is thinking i have became distant, which is not true…we both just need assurance that things will work out and these are just confusions…….PLEASE EVERYONE HELP ME… I wrote him an email explaining how much he means to me. I just feel soo overwhelmed, at the moment, coz of my parents interfering in my life, and the daily stress of seeing them. I sent him a text message one night, that “I miss speaking with him, love him, and worry for him because he is going through a difficult time”. And he returned my call around 3:45am, we spoke, I did question him, that is he wanting to quit speaking, because their was lots of awkwardness, and he got upset, and asked “is this what I am wanting?” I said NO!!. and ever since, we both have been a little distant.
I sent him an email yesterday, explaining how I felt of him, and explained how these couple of weeks been tough on me. Last night, he called me around 3am and we spoke, it was the first time ever, the he mentioned how his past marriage failed, which we both never opened this topic, but he still says that he is not going to call me in the middle of the nights He has been calling me in the middle of the night, but, then apologizes that he has called this late. As I said before it was the first time, he discussed about his past marriage too. He mentioned that he thinks, I am a bit confused, and we should take a step back (meaning, he will only call during 9am-9pm) and no longer later. He doesn’t say “I love you” anymore. I don’t want to lose him, but what is going through his mind? Is this a bad sign??, I don’t understand, that he says that he is not going to call me in the middle of the nights, but still does so….which I want him to continue? But, I don’t want to break things off with him, he is the best thing that has happened to me.

Answer 1

It sounds like you both care about each other but need to toughen your skin so to speak. It's hard not to take things personally, but it is a choice. If he doesn't call you cack for 13 hours, you have a right to be upset, but if he says he was busy, you can either choose to believe him or not. It is your call.

As for taking a step back, it sounds like it's part of the drama. Most likely it's a move to get you to realize how much you are into the relationship. Point blank: sit down and talk with each other. Figure out first what you hope for each other and what you want out of your relationship and then weigh that against what you have now. It may not be what you're looking for, but it may be exactly what you want and sometimes we can make things difficult when things seem too easy.

Answer 2

If you never met him how can you serious say he is the best thing that happen to you, I believe from the way you write that you will be the best he ever had, but,he's not on the same page as you, so , before you meet him take a step back and evaurate your sistuation, is their men that you can meet that is close by, I had a friend that met a wonderful man on the phone chat line and you can meet people near your area by selecting your choice of location. here's 2 # you can try 704-714-7777 or 704-943-0069 GOOD LUCK!!!! have fun and don't be quick to look for love, let love find you.

Answer 3

LDR is the hardiest type of relationship to maintain, it takes a lot of work from both people. You both must want it to work and set the time needed aside to communicate.

Answer 4

what does ur man do till that late everynight? does he bring other women frends home? well i dont know about what kind of guy is he but i sure know that guys stay awake till late only if they are watching a sports game, porn or have a woman with them!and yeah when the guy stops his "i love you's" its time to get your head ticking and give ur emotions some rest!