I've been having sex with my BEST guy friend for 7 yrs even if each of us is in other relationships. Lately we've been seeing eachother every weekend. The sex is great, and everything else as well. But we never talk about "us". He never says what he feels for me nor do I. We don't hook up just for sex, we hook up because we have a good time together. But I'm confused, I'd really like to know if he has feelings for me, but I won't take the risk of asking him or talking about my feelings because I don't want to loose him. I'm stuck. Any advice?
2006-11-09 00:29:06 · 19 answers · asked by linda27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are going to have to bring it up with him if he won't. These things can be really difficult even for the closest and most articulate of people. Yours / and his possibly hearts are at stake here AND yours / his most significant relationship. He has been the only one that has endured over the past 7 years isn't he? Although I must add you didn't really give the others a chance by continuing to see and sleep with your friend, did you? You clearly actually love him on a lot of levels, which is wonderful but pretending that you are happy with the set up is just wrong and will ultimately make you really unhappy. If you are sure of your feelings for him then you must either bring it up with him or if there is some doubt in your mind that he feels the same way about you, you are just allowing yourself to be used. I'm sorry but it's true. I don't think any man would let the love of his life slip through his fingers, which may suggest he likes your relationship the way it is because there are no pressures/commitments etc... which men usually associate with a girlfriend/partner/wife unfortunately. Why do they think this? I don't know. Anyway, I would bring it up with him, it's clearly at the forefront of your mind and doing your head in. Maybe start by saying simply "We have spent so much amazing time together over the years and now more than ever, I never want it to change but I just feel I need to let you know how much I think of you. I love the time we spend together and you on so many levels". See what he says and take it from there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being honest, in fact I would highly recommend it. Too much time is wasted in this life and we only get one shot at it (that we know of!). All the very best to you.
2006-11-09 01:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by rondavous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the kind of situation I would want to be in. How will you ever have a proper relationship with anyone if you are still sleeping with your friend on the side? In a proper relationship you have 2 be 100% committed and faithful. Do you not want to find someone to settle down with and start a family with? all this wont happen until you stop messing around. and I also think your friend is just using you, but then again its the same the other way about, you are using him 2. I think its terrible...go out and get yourself a decent relationship.
2006-11-09 00:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lucy_L_B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an almost unsolvable paradox...
When you hook up with a "ubusy" or a close friend for just sex a guy will believe it is just that...sex, You could always play the game of dropping hints as if you are objecting to having more and sit back for the reaction... But you have to be ready to respond if things go the way you want so you don't drive him in an unintended direction.
2006-11-09 00:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you are together, tell him you'd like to talk about something with him. Since he is your best guy friend, he will probably understand and be willing to listen. Explain to him your feelings with the 'friendship' you two have and ask him anything you want to know. Make sure you also tell him how you feel about things, too, as not to put him and only him on the spot. If you lose him over asking him such questions and talking to him about such things(and I dont think you have anything to worry about there) then hes probably not the guy you thought he was. I know if I were him, id greatly appreciate the fact that you decided to confide your feelings on the subject to me and let me know what was on your mind. I mean, thats what friends are for, right? :]
goodluck with everything!!
2006-11-09 00:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by sweet.heart_xoxo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you've got to do SOMETHING because cheating on your current relationships is wrong. If you are both single then have fun but if you have a relationship you are a cheating ****. Either come clean or get him out of your life - you will NOT stop doing him if you keep hanging around him, and if your bf/maybe husband some day finds out he will probably dump you or at the very least demand you never see him again.
2006-11-09 00:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unbelievable but somewhat fantastic for you to have sex with someone for seven years just because you are having a good time unless you consider sex as a form of exercise. I am not sure from where you come from how you regard sex. If you are engage to someone and having sex with another, I would suggest you seek some kind of counselling. What you have been doing is plain stupidity and betrayal of your love ones trust. Think about it loudly!!!
2006-11-09 00:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by proelvispresley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds to me like you have two choices here. You can either ask him and risk everything you have or you can keep quite and always wonder. For me personaly I think it's better to ask and risk it all than wonder because if you don't ask you could end up regreting it. Good Luck darlin'.
2006-11-09 00:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by Mandie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why "friends with benefits" gets too complicated...you are both in different relationships...yet you feel the need to know if he has feelings for you...he isn't supposed to view you with "feelings" remember ? You guys are only f ** k buddies nothing more.Like the hooker and her "John" , it's down to business...no more .
2006-11-09 00:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just using you for the tramp that you are. Common both of you are in a realtionship with someone else. Stop putting out for him and just be friends and that is it. It if can just be friends you are better off without him.
2006-11-09 00:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when y'all hook up don't have sex for as long as you can while together and see what happens wait about as month and then you will find out if it was just for sex
2006-11-09 00:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Brandi S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋