1'm a young lady of 24, my fiancee is 27 and we've been together for 2 yrs. we love each other so much and we are planning to get married next year.we're also expecting a huge contract by next month which will enabe us achieve our dream. but the problem is that my relations think i'm blind cause he hasnt got a car or a place of his own yet. they keep persuading me indirectly to find an already established man. but i really love my fiancee and he loves me too.i'm so afraid of making a mistake. what do i do?
2006-11-09 00:05:10 · 10 answers · asked by ugochi o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can not put a worth or price tag on love!!! If you love this man it would not matter if you lived together in a cardboard box as long as you two are together! Your family is only looking out for your best interest so don't get upset with them over it.A parent only wants the best for their child and they already have Been through the struggles of life and most likely don't want you to have to do the same! It does make it easier when someone is are already established in love but your heart just cant see if they have money or not nor does it care! I can however from experience say that its as easy to marry for love as it is for money money does not make the world go around but I'm telling ya it sure does help!Unfortunately we live is a society where unless you make a certain figure you just cant hardly make ends meet!You say things are looking up It doesn't matter if he lives with his parents and he doesn't have a car does he have potential or is he just one of these guys that plans on mooching off of mom and dad forever I mean is he in school ,is he at a job where he has the potential of moving up in the company or is he one who sits at home all day eating potato chips and playing video games!!You have to look with your eyes as well as your heart!If this is what you know you want in life then by all means go for it but realize what you are getting into and if he can not support the two of you just plzz think b4 you bring someone (a child) into it as well! What we choose for ourselves is our business but once you bring in a child the choice and decisions you make in life are not for just you so you have to make them all for them!!!I do hope that Love will conquer all and that you get to go with your heart in the end ,just plz do yourself a favor and make a a list of things that are good and bad about him and be honest if you don't write it honestly your only hurting yourself but write down everything his goals his chances of reaching them where you see him in a few years and think to yourself in 10 years is this what I want for myself? You don't have to break up with him because hes not financially stable but plz do yourself this favor and not marry him until he can take care of you and your future family!! the best of luck to you!!
2006-11-09 00:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by witchy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not having a place of his own or a car isn't the most horrible thing in the world. Is he responsible in all other ways? What's his job history? Educational background? Do you have the same goals? Are you savers or spenders? Establish some goals together and see how you can work on that as a team. Above all else - keep the lines of communication open. Whether you're married or not, never presume that the other knows what you're thinking. Talk things over, no matter what. If your family sees that you're handling things in a mature way, they should change their minds. And I'd also suggest that he find a place of his own - and live on his own (yeah, w/o you! - get married first!LOL!) - to show them that he can be responsible.
2006-11-09 00:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by N L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, think if you DO cancel the engagement, because your parents are saying to wait till you find the "right guy" for THEM to agree. Do you think you will never regret your choice forever?
Most of the time, yes, parents are right on reading their children's partners, if they are good person or not.
But what your parents seem to be concerned is not his personality but his finance. I think you will regret ALOT if you let him go because of this.
Value differes from people to people. So if you think you WILL meet someone later on in life, who you could definately love as much as you love this guy now, you could separate. But be sure you WON'T REGRET!!!
For me, I value wealth a lot. I don't want to lower my life style after marriage, so I do think about what my partner has, but right now I'm in love with this guy who shares a flat with a friend, doesn't care about what he wears, and are not materialistic at all.
I'm also having a huge war inside my heart...
By the way, I don't know where you are from, but a 27 year old guy, in a major city like NYC, Tokyo, Ldn, you don't need a car to go anywhere, or you can't buy your own house cuz it's damn too expensive. So if your parents want you to marry a well established guy, you should start looking for guys in mid 30's.
2006-11-09 00:27:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is quite lifelike and each and all of the reasons (they gained't bear in mind) are new lies to cover up the preliminary lie! yet Hellfire isn't a Bible coaching... i'm certainly one of Jehovah;s Witnesses and that i've got asked myself the comparable question... even though it particularly is worse than that... Like... How can they love and worship somebody NOW, (while they DO understand and bear in mind me), whom they suspect even holds the belief of torturing me (or anyone else for that count) if i do no longer placed up to their theology!? Hellfire and torture is slander against God, in my view and is no longer in team spirit with many stuff the Bible teaches... It purely ain't so... in this way, otherwise lifelike each and every physique is at risk of throw out the toddler (the Bible) with the bathwater (the fake stuff the Churchs prepare) = )
2016-10-03 11:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents just want the best for you and worry if this guy will be able to support you incially. But you have to live your own life and do what makes you happy. Let your parents know that you appreciate their concern but that you have faith in your fiancee.
2006-11-09 00:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by travelingcuti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your relations are worried about you and that's good, but they are placing too much emphasis on material items. If you and your fiance love each other then all else will prevail.
2006-11-09 00:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it show's ur not a shallow person,,,but on the other hand,,are u going to make love under his parents roof and expect them to drive u to work or worse yet support you...plz make sure hes responsible and not a lazy bum
2006-11-09 00:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not know were u coming from but it is common with us Africans u know what is gud for u so go ahead and grip it
2006-11-09 00:12:16 · answer #8 · answered by abenabox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would't care. You love him.Stand on it girl.
2006-11-09 00:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave him. That would be a mistake
2006-11-09 00:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mathias H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋