One for the guys who thinks I'm a man hater, no offence to the lady's. You know i Love ya?

Question

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Boy ain't this the truth!

Answer 1

If you were any closer to me Babe,
I would hug you and kiss you maybe a thousand times for displaying suxh understanding of the male Phsyc and the female Mind. I wanna Marry you, and I believe we were made for each other in heaven,
Love you,

Answer 2

Scientists have discovered a food that
diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

That's my favourite.

Answer 3

Yeah - good heard them all before but good to see a woman with a sense of humour about this stuff - one more for you -

what have a carpet & woman got in common?

lay her properly the first time & you can walk all over her for the rest of your life!

PS - last time I told this joke here I was pilloried by the feminists

Answer 4

So true! But at the same time,, the ladies have an equal number of similar items about us guys! Turn about is always fun tho!

Answer 5

Why has there never been a woman on the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning.
Why don't Women ski?
There's no Snow between the bedroom and the kitchen!

Answer 6

What is the purpose of posting this? Other than giving me 2 points, I mean.

Answer 7

ha! i like the dog one and the a man once told me one. im soo gonna use those

Answer 8

I like to know that some girls out there know the score! LOL

Answer 9

all of them made me giggle thanx 4 that

Answer 10

I dont know who you are , but i'd love to make you my fourth wife !