2006-11-08 23:07:33 · 11 answers · asked by dodgerchik 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man had to show his grey chest hair to prove he could get his pension.
His wife said "you should have shown them your c**k & we could have got disability to"
2006-11-08 23:25:18 · answer #1 · answered by cowboys4lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frank and James were the best of friends. They loved baseball. They wondered if there was baseball in heaven. The made an oath that which ever one died first, he would try to contact the other and let him know.
It had been two weeks since Frank's funeral and late at night when th, an untimely accidental death. James awoke to a noise at the foot of the bed. It was Frank. James was glad to see him.
What did you find out?, James asked.
Frank said, "I,ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there is baseball in heaven. I'm on a team that is in the play offs. The game starts in 20 minutes."
What's the bad news?
Your scheduled to pitch in the 3rd inning.
2006-11-09 07:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a lady who had triplets. Shut up, Be quiet, and Trouble. One day she told the boys to go buy her some milk from the store. They set off. When they got there the walked around looking for the dairy section. Somewhere along the line a big mob of people came and Trouble got lost. Shut Up and Be Quiet went to a police officer that was buying some bread.
Officer: What is your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: What is your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Since Shut Up was not cooperating he asked Be Quiet.
Officer: What is your name?
Be Quiet: Be Quiet.
Officer: What is your name?
Be Quiet: Be Quiet.
Officer:(really getting irritated) Are you guys looking for trouble?
Shut up and Be quiet: YES, YES, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"
The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.
The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.
He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"
2006-11-09 07:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by anitha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
2006-11-09 10:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Electric 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this one,
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
2006-11-09 07:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q: What`s orange and sounds like a parrot ?
A: A carrot
2006-11-09 07:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by chelseaboy1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did God create woman last?
He didn't want to be told how to make the man
2006-11-09 07:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by Adele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanna hear a dirty one ? Two children playing in a mud-hole.
Wanna hear a clean one ? BATH-TIME !
Try this in a ''G'' rated chat room
2006-11-09 07:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Steven H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
awn:::
I'n case she had to draw same blood
2006-11-09 07:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by alice 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A guy walks into a bar
... ouch.
2006-11-09 07:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by mellotron12 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋