Help! children acting out...keep reading question?

Question

My kids are getting used to a new routine where there father goes away to work for about 2 weeks at a time and comes home for one week. We are on a second stint of their dad not being here, and they took putting him on the plane fine, and the day after was fine. Today i want to pull my hair out....the woke at 5am throwing temper tantrums because i wouldn't let them stay on my bed, because they were playing...and all day they have acted out. I understand it is probably still getting used to Dad not being here, but I don't know what else to do...they are doing the complete opposite of everything I ask them to do. I have set up a photo by their beds so they can kiss Dad goodnight or good morning, doing a calender, they talk to Dad everyday for as long as they need....and it all worked last time. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

I tried making sure they knew I was boss, and I didn't let them get away with anything, but I don't know what else to do. I am wondering if I should take all their toys off them and make them earn it back

sorry i forgot their ages, 2 and 4...and I have talked to them, and they understand they didn't do anything for Dad to go...we do talk to them quite a bit about it...ta heaps for the advice everyone

Answer 1

Wow, what a difficult situation for you.

It sounds like perhaps they had a bad day by starting it by getting up so early. They probably wanted to play on your bed because their dad isn't there.

If you think they may have early mornings again maybe you could try telling them they can play on your bedroom floor but it has to be quietly - they probably just want to be close to you.

Or if you don't want them in the bedroom at all at that time of the morning (which is quite understandable, lol) perhaps you could talk to them the night before and make suggestions of what they can do if they wake up before you.

My kids used to like to get up before me and when putting them to bed the night before I would make suggestions of what they could do until I got up. This included telling them they could get their own breakfast - which they liked to do because it made them feel like they were 'big' kids.

All you have to do is leave out enough cereal in a container or bag so that they can pour it into their own bowl and the same with the milk - put a small amount in a little jug. AND DON'T STRESS OUT at them if they make a bit of a mess or spill a bit of milk. Rather than worry about having to carry all the bits and pieces I would suggest they sit on the kitchen floor to do it all. This way if they do spill something then it is really no big deal.

Okay so that covers the morning, lol ... and I'm sort of thinking maybe they acted out for the rest of the day because they had a bad start to the day??

Anyway I hope this helps in some way :-)

Oh, and make sure you take care of you! If you have someone who can look after the kids (even if its just for an hour) try to have a break regularly. A four year old and a two year old together can really take it out of you.

Answer 2

okay, two and four year olds don't understand much in the way we do. they are incapable of abstract thought. your children are very very young and i imagine they are having a terrible time with this adjustment.

i was raised with hitting and yelling (something that is harmful to kids and totally unnecessary) so i was a very docile little girl. but, when my father went out to sea, i, at 6, started kicking the boys in my school - in the shins.

The point is - you can't make some distress go away with punishment. You'll just have the punishment, plus the distress.

Temper tantrums - ignore them. You should do that if daddy's in town or not. Ignoring something makes it go away.

When they are being contrary - joke with them. If you say it's time for dinner and they say no, they want to keep playing, jump into the middle of their play, put on a dress up garment or something, and say, 'oh, i wish you could play all day. i wish you never had to eat or pick up your toys.' and then spin a nice fantasy about what you'd like them to have or do.

grant them their wish in your imagination. it shows them you're on their side, you understand.

play with them, relax, have fun, reduce your expectations of what can be accomplished in this time.

I recommend the book - how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. it's awesome - and so well illlustrated that you can get a let of their ideas from pictures/captions. !

Answer 3

You didn't say how old they were. I think you just have to have patience and try to stick to a routine. They can sense that you are tense and stressed and are acting on that as well as the fact that Dad is not home for a bit. If they are young they might perceive it as their own fault that he is gone or worse, because you take him to the plane, etc, that is is your fault and it may be like a punishment to you. Just keep on keeping on what you are doing. Be firm and have LOTS of patience and love and count the days till Dad gets home again!

Answer 4

hi glad to hear ur putting ur foot down as at this young age they r trying to see what buttons to push to make mummy give in and by not giving u in are showingt hem that ur the parent. Keep showing them ur the boss but maybe have them draw pictures for there dad and also get them to record special message onto a tape for him .Explain each day that dady be home soon and when he dose he would love to see there pictures ect and even get them to mark of the dates on a calindour till daddy comes home and u could also do a star chart that they can show there father when he gets home and depending on the amount of stars depends on what daddy dose with them ie zoo park movie day cartton day ect that way they have someing to look forward to do with him on his return home.

Other then that keep strong and show extra love to them

Answer 5

woop their ass
just because Dad is not home dont mean they can act up. Once you show them that you mean business and will not take this kind of behavior from them they will come back to earth.