where are all the decent guys? i always end up with players!?

Question

what happend to guys being gentlemen i always fall for players !!

Answer 1

There are a lot of a** holes out there because there are a lot of girls that let them be that way. Let's all put a stop to it!

This is a very common dilemma and I don't know many girls who haven't been there. I think eventually you will get bored of playing the same old game. It may take a few broken hearts to get there, but in the end you will start to see these men as pathetic losers and you won't want anything to do with them.

You need to try to re-think how you approach relationships... You are probably hooked on game playing, but that isn't real. Natural feelings for people don't develop under those circumstances. Be friends with someone first, and see how your feelings for them develop. Look at them as people first, and then figure out if you can have a relationship with them.

Try to keep your obsession with bad boys for fantasy. I drool over Steve Jones and Colin Farrell, two of the baddest boys in town, I think they are sooo sexy but I hope I'd know better than to try and make a relationship with anyone like that now. A lot of girls don't seperate the guys we fantasize about from the guys we actually want to be with. Men always talk about women they'd sh*g vs women they'd marry- they know how to make a distinction between someone they'd want for a partner, and someone that just turns them on. Try and think the same way.

Best of luck. I am sure you will find someone great one day, in the meantime have lots of fun looking!

Answer 2

You said that you always fall for players. Maybe (just maybe) you have the problem. It just shows that if the cycle of getting played repeats, then you haven't learned from your mistakes. It is highly possible that you have to reconstruct your concept of the ideal guy--and always remember that your ideal guy isn't necessarily the right guy for you. Be realistic. Don't just fall for someone you know you can only be with temporarily. When entering relationships, always see if things would work out in the longterm. Do you have the same values and principles?Goals and ideals? Check all these things first before you enter into a committed relationship.

Answer 3

I want to let you know that there're several gentlemen on-board this site. But I always insist that the begining of a relationship is very germane to the outcome of that relationship. It's like the foundation of a building. Someone once said: the deeper the foundation, the taller the building. So, I'll advise you to spend a quality time with knowing a guy deeper and better. A leopard doesn't change its skin in a day. Anyway, let me tell you frankly that I'm a guy but I'm NOT a player nor brute. Contact me through my profile now and let's know each other better. cya soon.

Answer 4

We are still here. Girls are taken in by the bad boys, its your own fault.

You say you "always end up with players" as if they are given to you and you have no choice. Perhaps you need to look at the way you meet people. The good ones are not going to be the ones looking for a quick drunken fumble on a saturday night.

The good guys are not necessarily wall flowers, but they are certainly not the ones at the centre of attention.

The good guys don't understand why you all go after these blokes, its like watching a train crash happen, its just so inevitable.

Answer 5

Most of us decent guys (wink,wink) are already taken.

Seriously, decent guys are hard to find now-a-days. most of them were born only until 1980's. So if you are looking for one, try searching for older men. Older men are likely to be serious and decent about relationships. Most of the younger men are players. This maybe because people do not take relationships genuinely anymore. To these people love is a game so they don't play fair.

There is no full-proof way of knowing who is sincere so be careful when choosing one. Good Luck!

Answer 6

this all depends on life style and how u go about dating take for example where u meet these players is it in a club or at a bar why not get to no some1 before any i mean any commitment see what they like what they want how they live this often gets you learning more than finding out the bad way also play harder to get guys love a chase let them no u r interested but u need to be impressed

Answer 7

It is not the problem with the "good" men and lack thereof; rather it is what, as you eloquently put it, "WHAT YOU FALL FOR", of which in this case is a player.

Just a hint, the gentlemen are the ones that are relatively quiet, withhold most of their profane language when around ladies, and most importantly is the presence of respect for you as a "decent lady." Holding the door,etcetera, is just thrown in as a bonus.

;)

Answer 8

You obviously like players and maybe secretly you have a player side yourself. So this is the way of life helping you discover it and embrace it.
The fact that you are attracted and YOU don't choose somebody who is not a player is an indication already.
So when you will feel like you have had enough
your own self will be repulsed of them and go for a different kind of guy.
Simple

Answer 9

The good guys are either married already or gay ! The secret is to never embark on a relationship with a guy u have met in a pub , try and meet someone where theres no alcohol involved you may notice a difference . Even better still try get a guy who doesn`t drink ! I am so glad my husband doesn`t drink and isn`t interested in partying ....

Answer 10

Personally I believe that the art of being a gentleman has been dying out since equal rights has grown. Its difficult to motivate yourself to open doors for women when the occasional one only thanks you with a scowl.

But more recently I think its because of two other things. Firstly the increase in ladettes, woman behaving like men and secondly the sexual liberation of woman both meaning there are more "easy" women around and impairing the idea that a guy has to court a woman in order to sleep with her.

Then again it could just be your age, or where you chose to pick up men.