and army people life is in always danger.i could not decide what to do. His mother & Father see my photo and they like it. there family is also a high society & respected.all thing is good but he was in army that thing was dissappointed me.and after that he was 9 months away from india and 3 months in home for three & four years.this thing also herristed me.How can a girl live alone after few days of a marriage. just give a perfect opnion.
2006-11-08 21:36:22 · 13 answers · asked by SAPNA D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear Sapana,
An Army Officers life is tough and there is no doubt about that, but it is not as dangerous as you think, today traffic accidents, bomb blasts and other acts of arson in India make the common man also exposed. Do you know that in world war II the ratio was one lac bullets to one man so if his destiny is to live he will live no one can change that.
Yes your fear of being alone is correct many a times you have to be alone for long durations. An army officers wife should be independent, be able to stay alone, be able to manage the house and the children and most of all be able to show a cheerful front to your husband who is away and at times helpless due to proffesional commitments and lack of leave. But remember being an army officers wife you are better of than the civilian counter part becaues you stay in cantonments were you are comparatively safe and have other wives who come forward to help you in your time of need and other facilities which are avilable make life comparatively easier. But yes you should be prepared to spend at least 50% of your married life alone, it requires a brave girl to marry and army officer (this is a compliment to all the army officers wives reading this).
Your Choice ?
2006-11-08 23:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi Sapna, Your fear is right and reasonable. Of course, fighting for the nation in the army is a noble thing. But it does not work for a good marriage, especially if he is not going to take you to the border area where he has a housing.
First of all, remember you have a lot of chances of surviving him as a widow (Forgive me for this a negative note, I pray if you ever mary him this should not happen). If it happens there is nothing more painful than that.
Secondly, him leaving you alone for the most part of the year is not a comfortable thing. I know couple who ended up doubting each other and disowning the children not as theirs because of the husband not being with wife for most part of the year. (High or low society does not matter, doubt can kill marriage)
Thirdly, most men in Army are accustomed to giving and taking orders. They boss over you all the time. If that is your choice of marriage - go for it. (Not everyone though - There are a few good men around)
Nine months over the phone and the three months, when they come back to be with you, think what are they going to want from you - just sex. There may not be enough time for understanding, talking, making you special. They will want to take it all from you, but you may not enjoy the relationship. There are many defence wives who live unhappy, but can't complain as it is their pride that their husbands serve the nation.
Some women (I mean a few) do take the marriage as a licence and do whatever they want behind their husbands back. When the man is around they are the most wonderful wives. When they are out, you know the mouse is at play! I don't think you want to try such double life ever!
I respect men in the army. They sacrifice and risk so much to go for a war. They do deserve a good family life. They can do it better if they are willing to take their wives to the quarters around their camps of if they get retired early to be with their wives.
Whatever you decide, let it be a firm decision. After deciding do not regret.
2006-11-09 05:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know what you feel like. I am also afraid of having a loved one in the army and fearing every moment of his life. Anyways, if the offer is good enough in every other aspect, you might consider talking to the boy and inform him about your worries. I think they allow you to live in a family posting where you can be withyour husband for a few years and then send them away for some time and then again a family posting. You may ask him about the pattern. Also ask him, whether you both will be able to live together as a family just after marriage or not. Fearing about life, I guess, is not really creadible anymore, given so many uncertainties and accidents that might occur to civilians too. So, you don't need to discuss this with him or you may look too cowardly to him. About the good things, army life certainly offers you quality life with a certain discipline, free evenings during family postings, social gatherings, good education for your children and free medical services for the family that are perhaps the best too. Its a good life overall and quality of life is perhaps the best. Number of martyrs is few but numer of people who get good lives is many. Hope that helps.
2006-11-09 06:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Instead of fear, you must be proud of him, because he is serving for the cause of nation. The family of the armed forces maintain discipline in the life. One must like discipline in the life.You need not worry about the high society.As regards 9 months duty and 3 months stay at home, in the beginning you may feel disappointed. After some time, you will be adjusted with it. Take the example of wives of the army. How they are leading happy life.
2006-11-09 08:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
c watever u r sayin is perfect!! and tell him abt d same along with d love u have 4 him
tell him dat u love him vvvvvv mch n cant evn think abt losin him cause losin him is like loosin d wrld if he loves u as well hell understand ur problem
bt c he will err in d beginin so dont loose ur temper
n remember 2 err is human its a human nature so dont loose him bt try sortin out things I PRAY DAT EVRYTHIN BECOMES F9
2006-11-09 08:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mary 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
PEOPLE DIE OF HEART ATTACKS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND BELIEVE ME THE NUMBER IS FAR MORE THAN PEOPLE WHO DIE WHILE SERVING IN THE ARMY DURING WAR...
LIFE AND DEATH...HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH THE KIND OF WORK WE DO FOR LIVING ...AND SERVING YOUR COUNTRY IS THE MOST DIGNIFIED OF PROFESSIONS...SAPNA ..LOOK NO FURTHER AND SAY YES TO THIS PROPOSAL...JUST DONT REJECT BECOZ HE IS IN THE ARMY...OF COURSE IF YOU DONT HAVE ANY OTHER PERSONAL REASONS FOR REJECTION...
2006-11-10 07:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ave to decide it urself....
If u love him & believe i his work & duty, go ahead...... the good days between u both will be a good memoryfor both of u when he leaves for work....
besides, there will be longing & alot of love when u meet again...
u can make ur days together as a dream , full of love & happiness....
If u can't...... leave him to a woman who can do this...
But remember , u should know how urlife will be when he leaves,,,
study , for example....... read...... learn languages........do charity activities........etc
I wish u a happy & blessed life
2006-11-09 05:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Monika 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Real love will win over your problem. First be sure that he loves you in toto. If it is yes- it doesnot matter what he is and other things.
2006-11-09 05:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by vinadh 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
army
2006-11-09 07:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by yeshpaltomer123 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it is a tough life, but i guess once he reaches a higher rank, he wouldnot be staying away for so long.
2006-11-09 05:52:43 · answer #10 · answered by queen 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋