My in-laws are staying away and because they could not control her, they sent her to my place. i am working and can't keep a check on where she goes, whom she calls (long phones to boys). What should I do? Sending her back is not possible!
2006-11-08 20:37:10 · 10 answers · asked by mommy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
talk to her! probably she is just misunderstood and being judge automatically because of her behavior sometimes their are things that she find it quiet hard to explain and bring up some personal matters... because she felt misunderstood and helpless on her part, getting mad at her and making her felt that all of you give up on her childish behavior makes her more depressed and want to rebel more... communication and conversation is always effective specially for her... she's just 16yrs old... what do you expect?
trust me i have 5 siblings so i should know... be positive...
2006-11-08 20:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off remember when you were 16, I know this only makes it worse. But try not to be the Ogar that's always yelling at her. put yourself in her shoes, Maybe act like her friend. let her know about the thing you did when you were her age confide a secret of your past to her. This will start to knock her wall of defiance down (note I said start) This will not happen over night You must be patcient this my take a while. But in the long run if you continue this trend she will respect your wishes. At the same time Put a block with a code for you to lock and unlock calling features same with your computer use the Parental controls that most browsers offer
Best of luck :)
2006-11-08 20:57:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sick As It Gets on my space 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set the ground rules. tell her what is expected of her and ask what it is she thinks she should be allowed to do. also getting the brother/sister involved would help. this should not be up to just you. when she does not obey the rules she has to have a punishment.she is feeling rebellious because she was sent away now your stuck holding the bag. dont let her run over you, be firm and stick to your guns. what ever you do dont give into her, she needs this.make sure you get your partner involved sit her down together. that would help, and make sure your partner stick by you, cause if they dont you are fighting a losing battle.
2006-11-08 22:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you take this on if you couldnt do it?Because she might go to the state? Sounds to me if she is so bad she will anyway and at least may have to obey some rules and take some consequences. Teens need boundries and someone needs to be there to follow that through
2006-11-08 21:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah the teenage years! we all went through that stage, didn't we? but not everybody has the same result when we became 20. what i mean is yes she is hard to control now. but not impossible. you just have to be firmer with her when it comes to house rules. be her friend. find out what she always does. and try to see what are the things that she does which are out of control. then have a serious talk with her to tell her that it's ok for her to do somethings but only in moderation. she should understand that she is just a guest in your house. and should learn to behave in the proper way.
2006-11-08 20:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not responsible for your in-laws child. They are responsible for her until she is 18 years old and out of school. How do they figure that you can handle her if they can't, they should have put her in a private school that will teach her to be more responsible
2006-11-08 20:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a hot chic, and 16, there is nothing u can do about it. Confrontation is gonna make it even worse and could even run a way to go and stay wif her "friends". So u just have to accept it. Sorry, my opinion.
2006-11-08 20:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by badboy22bs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inform your in-laws. You can not be responsible for her actions. Make this clear to them. Tell them to call her back and take her responsibility until she turns 18.
2006-11-08 20:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by rams 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOT YOUR PROBLEM !!! Who told you that sending her back is not possible? Those in-laws are legally responsible for her. She is their kid NOT YOURS. Of all the low down nerve. Stop being a door mat and send her back-pronto
2006-11-08 21:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her parents that if they don't come and get her that you will put her into reform school or turn her over to the state. She is NOT your responsibility. Tell them that you can't control her either and it isn't fair for them to dump their burden on you. If they don't come and get her make good on your threat.
2006-11-08 20:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by BetteBoop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋