Okay, so my brother is 19 and just a year younger than my husband... Hes burned bridges with everyone he knows except us... He doesnt listen or follow rules. He moved to FL with his last g/f and things didnt work out, so hes coming back here to CO... We said he could stay here, but i think Im regreting that decision.
I want to help him but dont know if I can stand him long enough for him to get a place of his own or if he will even fo that...
Im worried he will steal things and not follow our rules or even pay rent! We are giving him 2 weeks but thats a long time to deal with someone whos lazy!
I still have faith in him and that he will soon pull his head out of his a** and start taking care of things he NEEDS to take care of... But no one else in my family thinks he can or will... No one wants to help him or anything... Like I said hes done things to everyone hes lived with .... So what should we do or say to him that may make him see the seriousness of the situation???
2006-11-08 20:18:35 · 13 answers · asked by greygirl06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he comes in tomm evening... should i let him rest or get on his a** bout getting a job and laying the rules out?
2006-11-08 20:22:04 · update #1
yeah I thought he would have growm up after being kicked out of my moms house and then for messing things up with a few of his friends by screwing around... Ive tried getting in touch with his g/f in fl (now ex) to see why she broke up with him and if it was for the same BS
2006-11-08 20:29:26 · update #2
i'd say 2 weeks is a very generous time period for him. i'd also suggest letting him know that u're there for him and that u'll help him but u're not going to baby him.
if i were u, i'd tell him that for those 2 weeks, he's welcome to sleep in ur house and to shower and all that, but when it comes to food, he's to pay for his own. if everyone's given him everything before, then he really doesn't have a reason to straighten himself out.
if he wants to stay longer than 2 weeks, he just needs to get a job and pay for rent. tell him straight up from the beginning that if he disturbs the rest of the house cause he broke the rules or something like that, and especially if he steals, he's out of the house that day.
2006-11-08 20:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be very greatful that you are willing to help him. I don't blame you for wanting him out as soon as possible,but honestly,two weeks is not enough time,even if he really tries to get a job and do other stuff he needs to do,it will take more then two weeks. I don't think you should start in on him as soon as he gets there either. I am on your side,but seriously and realistically he needs more time. If you see that he is not trying within the first two weeks,then I would just tell him to get out. If he tries,then I would work with him on the time frame. If he steals from you,toss him out right then. Good luck
2006-11-09 04:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Deerrunner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you have told us. Don't hold back. tell him you love him and he is your brother but these are the rules and this is my house. Let him stay the two weeks that you told him and stick with it. Get him out of bed every morning and make him look for a job and if he doesn't at the end of 2 weeks kick his butt out. It's called tough love. But maybe then he will grow up and take responsibilities.
2006-11-09 04:27:31 · answer #3 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My life experience has shown me that your brother is probably depressed and feels like a loser, which he has probably been told a thousand times.He will stay with you as long as you will put up with him.Suggest that he enlist in the military and make something of himself.People all seem to think he will be carrying a rifle and shooting people, but that isn't always so.If he has a hard drug problem, you are wasting your time.
2006-11-09 04:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by Donald H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brother sweet brother.
Even though he's bad, he's still your brother. You can do anything you want as well as to make him better. You can angry with him, even you can kick him out for awhile. But you have to think about, if you kick him out, so what will happen to him? Don't you want to make him criminal or may be someone will make his life suffered, he's still young and inexperience in life.
You have to think the consequences before you decide.
2006-11-09 06:13:03 · answer #5 · answered by eddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say to him u are giving him a chance, hes your brother you have to do that for him but he needs to know the rules because it is your house, tell him to make something of him self your only telling him because you care or you wouldn't even give him that chance so just lay down the law and take it one step at a time..
2006-11-09 04:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is actively pursuing a career let him stay if he is lazy give him 1 week
2006-11-09 04:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by space case 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom can't stand him...frankly you won't be able to for longer either. I think stick to your 2 weeks and make sure he either shapes up or ships out.
2006-11-09 05:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to encourage him to get a job, and once he get the job, you charge him rent and he can't be lazy anymore, try charging more then other places since you are also giving him food and he doesn't have to pay water or electricity bills or any utility bills.
2006-11-09 04:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by ParadoxZero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you and him are older now and you need your own space
2006-11-09 04:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋