How do I help him cope.....?

Question

I've just lost my 2 1/2 year old Dalmatian to Kidney disease and I'm totally devastated, he was my baby. How do I help his 2 year old deaf brother cope with it? He's never been on his own and has always been with his brother who was effectively his ears too. Chester is lost and I don't really know what to do to help him.

Answer 1

Hi. I am sorry to hear about your dog. It is devastating. I hope you will be able to deal with it with positive thoughts in your heart about the dog. For Chester, I have a few suggestions as immediate measures, though it will help to get another pup eventually.

Do not throw away rugs, mats or anything your dog used which may have his smell left on it. Chester will feel secure and comfortable snuggling up in those as they will feel familiar.

If your dog was helping Chester, think of what he was doing and begin doing a few of those routines with Chester. If known bhaviours are repeated, he will not feel lost and also find it easier to respond.

Try to establish eye contact every time you want to do something with Chester and instruct him without speaking, only with the help of gestures and expressions and objects he knows, e.g., showing his bowl and putting food inside at meal time when he is looking at you.

I know it is going to be tough to handle him for the first few weeks, but till you take a decision on whether to get another dog or not, these will help you find some level of control over the situation.

All the best and once again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

hopefully you allowed him to see the body of his brother to understand what has happened. I always bring the body of a dead pet home so that the other animals here can see and sniff it and understand that they are dead. Otherwise they get confused and wonder where their friend is, and look for it.
Then I would allow the pup a couple of months to grieve. Dogs and cats grieve as do other pets. Pay him lots of special attention and give him extra treats etc.
Then when you and he are ready, start looking for another dog. Don't rush into anything though as you both need time to grieve and if you rush something it just won't work out. You yourself are not ready yet to take on another dog. Your mind is still full of grief and loss. When you are ready, go for a different breed so that you will not be reminded. Or go for a different coloured Dalmatian so that you won't expect it to be just like the oone you lost.
I lost my beloved border collie in February this year and am only now over the grief and able to start thinking about getting another dog for myself and for his best friend my lurcher.
We both had to grieve and heal before the time was right to bring another into the home.

Answer 3

I'm really sorry for your loss. Please take a hug and give one to Chester too.

One thing that might help you both, is to spend more time together. I don't mean just time, but good, quality time: playing or just walking together or even sitting together for awhile.

Touch is a very effective form of healing from grief when it comes to animals, even human ones.

One really nice place to go is the pet loss website:
http://www.petloss.com/

Yes, you will probably cry if you go there, but crying is a form of healing, you know. In order to help Chester recover, you need to help yourself as well.

Learn about Rainbow Bridge and help to heal your pain as well. Chester may sense your pain too. You can heal together, it just takes time.

PS: Believe it or not, (you may already know), deaf dogs can learn sign language:

http://www.seefido.com/html/hand_signals_for_dogs_sign_lan.htm

It will give you both somethign to do together and you can help communicate better with him.

*** I added this just now: I forgot to tell you something. I'm definately NOT an expert, but I am an animal lover and have always shared a connection with animals that I'm not able to find words to explain, but I wanted to add one more thing: be careful if you decide on adding another dog, so Chester doesn't feel like you are replacing him. I know it sounds weird, but dogs are very intelligent and if he sees a new puppy or dog and happens to notice that you may be paying more attention to the new one, he may just get more depressed and withdraw, so just be careful.

Answer 4

Don't rush out and get another dog!

Chester will need time to adjust and he will have to learn to cope without relying on his companion.

Give him plenty to do and build up your relationship with him so that he can rely more on you.

It is always difficult for a dog when they lose a companion. My dog became depressed when the last of her three companions died and she was left on her own. I introduced her to new places and new games and tried to to fill her time.

She eventually recovered and after a while I got a new pup but not until she was a lot happier.

Answer 5

Give him lots of love and affection. If you give him lots of attention and love he will enjoy this and he will soon get used to the idea his brother is no longer with him. Dogs are very adaptable and don't seem to suffer in the same way as we do when they lose a close companion.

Have just read the other comments, I am not sure that introducing a new dog is the answer. As long as you spend good quality time with your dog I think you will find that he will be just as happy on his own with you and he will be much more affectionate to you. What happens if he doesn't like his new companion, then you'll have problems.

Answer 6

this may be the saddest thing i have EVER heard! i don't know if dogs really understand a mourning period, but i think the best thing you can do for chester is get him a new hearing ear brother. it will probably be more painful for you to have a new puppy around than for chester. you should maybe take him to the pound or shelter and let him pick out a suitable friend (since he lost brother/friend)... now i will go cry myself to sleep...

Answer 7

hi!

I am so sorry for your loss, chester too. Maybe get him another of the same breed. Don't let it make either of you sick..lost my partner a little over a year ago..time heals

Answer 8

my poodle and I lost our sheltie and he refused to eat for months until I got another dog......this is the only bad thing about being a dog mom or dad....everytime one dies, I think I'll never get another to go thru it again, but I have 8 now :) all about the same age.....will be very hard for a long time......keep a pix on the piano and good thoughts in your heart!

Answer 9

I'm so sorry for your loss, I have lost 2 dogs and a horse this year, but it is true, time is a healer.
I'm with Spring S on this one, take him to your local rescue centre and let him pick his new friend.
Good luck :-)

Answer 10

You need to get him a friend and quickly. Do you have contact with the breeder to see if they have another brother or half brother?

The sooner the better. I left it to long when I lost one of my horses and the other then wanted nothing to do with the new one and I had to pass her on again which wasnt fair to either of us.