Mother inlaw problem. I would like a adivce?

Question

I have moved from U.S. to inida after getting married. I have a younger cosister who is healthier then me so we both get diffrent kind of treatment from my inlaws. she is being prased for everyting and they are pretty joly with her. I have tried to crack some jokes but the atmosphere seems to be dry with me and my inlaws. i have told my husband on what's going on but he told me that not to bring any of these complaints to him. what should i do?

Mother inlaw problem. I would like a adivce?
I have moved from U.S. to inida after getting married. I have a younger cosister who is wealthier then me so we both get diffrent kind of treatment from my inlaws. she is being prased for everyting and they are pretty joly with her. I have tried to crack some jokes but the atmosphere seems to be dry with me and my inlaws. i have told my husband on what's going on but he told me that not to bring any of these complaints to him. what should i do?

Answer 1

TRY TO SETTLE YOURSELF AND ADJUST WITH THEM WIN THEIR HEARTS WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION.

Answer 2

You sound like an Indian !!!!! Well this is an eternal problem that seems to be there everywhere. Why dont u ask your husband to move out or look for a job in another city. Maybe if u also avoid your inlaws, you maybe at peace. If your husband does not understand, then he is too much of a Mama's boy. But have you tried to adopt to the ways of life in India or are u still acting like a ABCD - American Born Confused Desi.

Answer 3

You are a new member in their family, you have to know and adjust with all of them and that too coming from out of india whereas they (all others in your family) have only to know you. so it really depend on you, how you present yourself in front of them. Also, you have to work the most i.e understand (likes and dislikes, behaviour esp your mother in law) each member first and also make yourself very comfortable and pleasing to them. You had been modest and jolly (by cracking jokes, etc which dint work). In india this is a tradition, one has to accept and adjust. Am sure that you love your husband most and for him initially you have to adjust and with passage of time they will and you as well, shall get used to the family. Trust in god, everything will be all right. All the best.

Answer 4

maybe you could try talking to the inlaws about how you feel. tell them you want to be excepted into there family and that you enjoy being in their country and most of all love your husband and would like to have a good relationship with them as well. good luck to you. i am afraid if he told you he doesnt want you to come to him with these complaints more then likely he will not stand up for you in a situation that would be needed. wish you well.

Answer 5

to me, from what you said, their love sounds cheap.

i would question any family affection that comes to someone as a result of their having more money. it means that if it all went bottoms up or maybe if you got richer than her, then they would like you instead.

i would make the best of a bad situation if i were you. be a good person to them, to yourself, to your husband. if it is not too hard, you can move to somewhere else, your husband may not be much help whether he knows what's going on or not. if i were you i would look for friends elsewhere from the house. they will appreciate you for being a good person, but they are a bit cheap and shallow, be good to them, enjoy life as much as you can and see how you can progress from where you are now if it's at all possible

Answer 6

I say ignore your mother inlaw and focus on your husband.Don't tell him anything about his mother.This will only make it worse,trust me.If you love your husband and have no problem with him, focus on your marriage.Be patient.Remember,you married to your husband not to them.You don't have to get along.
I had the same problem but my hubby was a coward chicken.He was always,always- even when I was right- on his mother's side.He shared everything with her.So I couldn't bear it and divorced.My only advise to you; if your husband is just like my ex ,believe me it's not worth it.But if not,be patient ,let him see things for himself.Good luck!!

Answer 7

Hi, Sonia..
I don't think any problem exist there, than your cultural background. Get adjusted with Indian life, slowly avoiding the Am-way. Everything will be fine and proper! Again, you should ensure doing what is warranted under the given circumstance befittingly.

Answer 8

some parents,,mothers in particular,,can be difficult but your husbands lack of interest is not appropriate,,tell him you like his family a lot and wonder if he can think of any way his mother would accept you,,he really should show support here but you may have to flatter your way into getting it,,tell him it would be nice for you and he to be a team,,a couple who can share all,,support one another and it is that you feel will give you a long and happy marriage.i am not indian and am not pressuming but i understand sometimes husbands do act this way,,,surely he could see the benefits of trying to get everyone to get along and that would help to make all of you more able to communicate.

Answer 9

If she is eighteen and you 2 are married and anticipating, you 2 would desire to get a place of your guy or woman. the only reason you will desire to additionally be residing along with her mom is probably money matters, or perhaps then it is going to be the final motel. and from the sounds of it, money isn't an argument. you could desire to tell your spouse that with the infant coming-you 2 would desire to have your guy or woman residing house. Time to advance up. And communicate on your spouse. tell her the variety you sense. Be very user-friendly and clarify which you dont % her to "%" aspects, yet which you're her husband now and that she would desire to stick up for you. If she does not, stick up for your self. Your mom in regulation is walking throughout the two considered one of you on account which you enable her. get up, be a guy.....you dont would desire to be recommend approximately it. only tell her while she says something impolite or whatnot that "It replaced into thoroughly uncalled for and extremely disrespectful" or something like that. supply up letting her communicate right down to you or belittle you.

Answer 10

Your problem is temporary.
Your co-sister will be going away after her marriage.
Your observation about wealth and health are unnecessary.
Extend whole hearted love (for a short period) to your co sister and others. Come out from your inferiority complex.
Use your talent, help others ( first to co-sister) and be happy always.
Be blessed by the Divine.

Answer 11

probably they think that u might go back to US that is the reason they are not very friendly with u , u try to convince them that u will be there for them when they need and u be patient with them and don't loose hope.U don't involve your husband in this because he might get annoyed and that will go against u only. Stay relaxed and everything would be fine.