My son (3 years) keeps on pinching my upper arms while lying down with me or even while sitting with me..?

Question

Sometimes he does it so hard that it cuts. I have tried to get him to stop but he starts off again after a few days. What is the reason for such behavior.

Answer 1

I think you should tell him ahead of time, "I'm not going to stay with you while you try to sleep if you're going to pinch my arm" or "I won't hold you unless you tell me you won't pinch my arm". Then he can think it out and decide what he wants to do.

Tell him that that isn't what people do when they love someone because it hurts them, and you're not supposed to hurt people.

I hate to say it because I'm generally not one for hitting kids, but you could warn him, "If you do that ever again I am going to smack your hand because I'm not going to put up with it." He can consider himself warned, and the next time he does is smack his hand, put him down (or get out of the bed), and leave.

There's a chance he's doing this to see how much of it you'll put up with. Kids test parents. He may wonder why you're putting up with it, and maybe that's enough to make him keep doing it (its just a mystery to him maybe).

If the only thing that ever gets him a smack on the hand is this he'll know that generally you don't hit him but this particular thing won't be tolerated by you. Chances are he won't do it too many more times.

If you end up leaving him in the bed or putting him off your lap, tell him with authority (if he comes out to find you) why you left, that you're not going to put up with it, and that you expect him to apologize. Don't come across like an injured person. Come across as in charge.

Answer 2

It is soft and motherly feeling to him. It is like the booby, you know? Wear long sleeves, or lose weight. Geez, it is affection is all I know. My daughter does it to me sometimes, still. I rarely get the affection from her though, she is too busy trying hard to hate me. Wait ten years, a pinch is a gift compared to what could come at puberty. You have to love them!

There is nothing wrong with him, laugh it off.

Answer 3

its a form of comfort much like sucking thumbs or twirling hair. my daughter used to rub the bottom of our earlobes and suck her thumb. the other one used to rub our arms when she was sitting next to anyone in the family. my last one has the worst habit of all, she carries around an old bra. she can't go to bed without it. she holds the strap of it and sleeps. she takes it for car rides but she's knows she can't bring it into the store. it's really weird. i'm hoping she outgrows it. she's always stealing my good bras because she can't find hers!

Answer 4

Either another kid does it to him and he needs to see what the right response is, or he wants and likes the reaction he gets from you. It may be he needs your focus completely on him for a while so he know he's special.

Answer 5

My mother in law said my husband did that to her every time she would try to get him to go to sleep or take a nap, until he was 5. It was some sort of comfort to him.