Does becoming a soldier really change people, the way the act and react to thing?

Question

My friend who I have known for ages has just been arrested for serious charges, and I just can't believe he would do anything like that, but everyone says that the army changes people. SO can it really change people that quickly, 2 years. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, can't relly say what he has been accused of doing.

Answer 1

of course. you will never know the reality of life outside the US until you go. especially if you are out to defend our country. Some people can assimilate upon return but some cant. It just gives you to much of a different perspective.

who ever said never heard of it effecting someone in a negative way? you must not have seen your father sitting in the corner of his bedroom screaming to get the vc with the grenade. How can the threat of dying everyday you wake up not effect you negative? and no he didnt crack, he was 18 years old with people shooting at him. read up there are 1000s of stories of the things vet of foreign wars go through. and remember them when you see someone in the military. They put their lives on the line for you to be here. never forget that.

Answer 2

I am an ex soldier life changed for me, I gained confidence knowledge skills I got fitter, stronger, I had a sense of place and belonging. something you dont find in civillian life, and yes I still miss it. but turn a person into a criminal or a wife beater or such no the army does not do that that is a personal trait those kind of people are the loosers of society if your friend only spent 2 years in the service then the service must have wanted to get rid of him. it is not the army that makes a person violent it is the person themselves'

Answer 3

Yeah it does, some more than others. My boyfriend of 4 years spent a year in Iraq and I was w/ him before, during and after. It didn't change him completely, but he does look at the world a bit differently. He lost a lot of his youthful optimism since his tour, it really is sad. I couldn't imagine having to see the things he saw and do the things he was ordered to do.

Just be patient, but don't hesitate to suggest psychological help if it is truly needed. It really can help. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/q3oea

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 5

yes it does, during peace time it can make you a better overall person. if you have to go to war and see things you or i have not seen or done then we cannot imagine the hell they live day to day and so of course it will change a person. i like the example a person gave of a cop and their cynical view of people. my dad has been a detective for over 20 years and i have two brother in-laws and a sister who are also police officers with the same cynical views of humanity. my husband who is active duty had a first sergeant who said he had to kill a kid or be killed because the kid was coming at him with a gun aimed to kill...ptsd is real...our young men and women are going through hell and are all heroes who are deployed to (currently) places like iraq and afghanistan...be patient and understanding with your friend, he really needs support right now...i dont care what anybody says about it being an all volunteer army, there is a difference of being a "hero" and another person who joined out of sheer desperation in order to provide for his family who lost his civilian job because he has a disabled daughter who he had to attend to her needs and needed instant healthcare for her or she would not be alive today so he is going on his third tour to iraq this coming may and his wife has said each time he comes back he loses a small precious part of him and drinks a bit more than usual each time...i know i am ranting but it just is an unbelievably misunderstood and understated position of being a soldier and being a soldiers spouse...please support your friend through whatever troubled times he is going through, as long as he is not doing harm to you or others then give him your friendship and patience

Answer 6

I hate to say this but if your ex told you that you're too jealous and clingy then he must know what he's saying.
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Anyone that goes out clubbing just to see what their ex is doing or drive by his place at 7:00 a.m. to see who's there tell me that you need to work on something. I don't think that you are only jealous but also possessive. And if you don't change that then you will never get your ex back. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to mean to you. I only want you to see what you are doing is so wrong. You have to admit that you are jealous and clingy. If you can't admit that then you'll never be able to fix the problem.

I understand that you don't like it if he dances and flirts in front of you. But guys are guys. And many guys don't see anything wrong with this. I know you feel hurt if he does that in front of your face. And it is disrespectful. But there are ways you can talk to your boyfriend if he's flirting while he's with you. You only have to tell him that it hurts you and that it's disrespectful and then ask him to stop doing it when he’s with you.

I don't know if getting back with your ex is going to last because now you have two problems. You were having problems with him because of his flirting and now you will have another problem because of this girl that he's going out with. It is eating you alive that he's involved with this girl and you know he's probably sleeping with her. How are you going to handle that if you get back together? Because of your jealousy and your insecurities are you going to be able to forget that he was ever involved with this girl? You really need to work on this and make sure if you try to get him back that you never again mention about his flirting or this girl. You can mention one more time how his flirting affects you but it has to stop there.

You asked how do you compete with the girl he's involved with. I looked at the picture and I can tell that your ex knows how to go for beautiful girls. So that give me a clear picture about how you look. I have a feeling that you are also very beautiful but for some reason I don't think you see yourself that way. The only thing I can tell you is that your boyfriend did not leave you because he didn't love you. He left you because of your jealousy and because you were clinging to him. If you love his as much as you say you do then fight for him and get him back. And if you do get him back then make sure that you can promise him that you will no longer be jealous, clingy or insecure about your relationship with him. If you can't promise him that then you may as well forget about him because it won't work if you don't change,

Answer 7

YES!! I have been in the Marine Corps for less than three years and have changed ALOT. Deployments change people and boot camp changes them and also just being in the Service will do it. I have seen many men in my shop grow up alot in a few years and others become alot less mature it all depends.

Answer 8

Absolutely, especially if he has seen combat or the direct result of combat. We can experience trauma in our everyday life that can "put us over the edge" or prevent us from making rational decisions.

This can be especially true if your friend instinctively reacted to some type of stimuli (visual, sound, smell) that triggered a negative or troublesome memory (war, death of a buddy, child’s death, etc) that caused him to do something they wouldn’t normally do. Look into PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and see if your friend exhibits some or all of the following symptoms:

•Recurring thoughts or nightmares about the event.
•Having trouble sleeping or changes in appetite.
•Experiencing anxiety and fear, especially when exposed to events or situations reminiscent of the trauma.
•Being on edge, being easily startled or becoming overly alert.
•Feeling depressed, sad and having low energy.
•Experiencing memory problems including difficulty in remembering aspects of the trauma.
•Feeling "scattered" and unable to focus on work or daily activities.
•Having difficulty making decisions.
•Feeling irritable, easily agitated, or angry and resentful.
•Feeling emotionally "numb," withdrawn, disconnected or different from others.
•Spontaneously crying, feeling a sense of despair and hopelessness.
•Feeling extremely protective of, or fearful for, the safety of loved ones.
•Not being able to face certain aspects of the trauma, and avoiding activities, places,or even people that remind you of the event.

If he’s in some serious trouble, and his actions are out of character, PTSD may be a viable defense and could get him the help he needs.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Everything we do in life changes us. When you go through certain things and see how people live in misery or your always a target for people's hatred it will definately change you. For instance, a cop. Cops see misery daily. what is "normal" for some is not normal for others. Cops are called cynical and if you see what they see and get spoken to the way they do you change after awhile

Answer 10

The Military does change people in a big way, but I've never heard of it having a "negitive" effect on people. He must have cracked under the pressure.