I have been seeing this girl lately and I just found out that she lied to me about her quitting smoking. I never asked her to quit, although before we started going out she knew I didnt like her smoking cigarettes. Recently she told me she had quit, but just the other day one of her friends (whom I also happen to be friends with) told me she was still smoking and she never actually quit. She still thinks I dont know and I am yet to confront her about this (although I want to), but I dont know if thats such a good idea. I really like her, but I dont know if I can trust her now because we just started seeing eachother and she is already lying to me. Am I over reacting? Should I just let this slide? Or should I confront her? What should I do??
2006-11-08
16:46:23
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16 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
She wants to quit smoking and she really wants you to be happy with her. She's probably trying to quit and likes the idea but don't forget that cigarettes are a drug. Quitting is a lot easier said than done. Also don't jump to conclusions. She may have quit but had a relapse. This doesn't mean you can't trust her. Drug addictions are tough. Help her through it.
2006-11-08 16:53:32
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I dont think you are over reacting....her liein to you was not a good thing...im sure if you let it slide...in time it can lead to other lies..that might hurt you even more..understand her situation...and know that smoking is not easy to quit but that didnt give her the right to lie..tell her how you feel about the situation...and if you dont enjoy her smoking I dont think you can quite enjoy haveing a good time with this person..be straight out and..you leaving her is upto you..good luck
2006-11-08 16:55:49
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answer #2
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answered by Mololina 2
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Don't take this so personally. She doesn't want you to not like her, and she's afraid you'll judge her by this habit. It's tough to quit. Tell her quietly and in private that you know she's still smoking, and if she wants to quit that you'll do whatever you can to support her. Also tell her that you're not judging her for it and still care about her (if that's true), and thank her for making the effort to not smoke around you. That is really signifigant. It isn't a lie, she respects you. She also fears what your reaction to her smoking will be. Reassure her that you care about her and aren't going to judge her. If that's true. She wouldn't fear your reaction if she didn't care about you so much.
2006-11-08 17:02:50
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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some friends lie but if u think this is true then id think u should trust her no more jus go straight 2 her n say i know u were lying bout the smoking thing
if u still <3 her then mayb u shouldnt break up wit her but ifu do nt bc u dont trust her then u should
usually she wants u 2 be happy
2006-11-08 16:53:44
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Lying isn't overreacting. If she lies about this, it makes you wonder what else she'd lie about?! I wouldn't trust her. If you really like her, confront her. Tell her she should have been honest with you. And you would appreciate honesty in the future. If you don't care about her that much, just break up with her since there's a trust issue now. Good luck.
2006-11-08 16:52:52
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answer #5
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answered by Jenna 4
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She only told you that because she wants to make you happy but she couldn't do it because she was already adictted so she can't stop so I say help her set the line say something. My friend has a grandpa that smokes and her grandmother left him and there was a note that said if he won't stop smoking then she will leave him alone forever and ever scince he never somked again because love gave him the boost he needed to stop and mabe your love is strong enough to let her stop her smoking problem. Stop her before she dies of lung cancer or something because she needs to know that you care about her.
2006-11-08 16:51:31
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answer #6
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answered by smart smart. 3
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quitting smoking is really hard, i think you should confront her and tell her you are there for her and ask her if she really wants to quit smoking and if she does help her through it. but she lied to you because you let her lie to her like i said confront her and she will know that you know she didn't really quit and make sure she knows you won't deal with her lying to you and if you catch her lie to you one more time you won't beable to trust her then ask her why she lied to you
2006-11-08 16:55:42
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answer #7
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answered by sam 4
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Be distant with her. She will soon ask you what's wrong. Then you can answer by saying you feel she's not been honest with you about her smoking habits. If she confesses, then tell her that you hate deceipt and that you can't trust her if she continues lying to you.
Tell her how much you value honesty and truth.
My opinion?: She probably is not the lady for you.
2006-11-08 16:52:51
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answer #8
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answered by a_phantoms_rose 7
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its her life if she wants to smoke its up to her maybe she was afraid that your not going to care for her anymore if she told you the truth .........its not like she cheated on you and lied give her a chance .........i know because when i first met my husband i use to smoke and when he ask me i said i didn't because he had said that women look nasty when they smoke and went on and on about the subject then ask me if i smoked i like him so much i said that i didn't well 2 months in to the relationship he found out and he had a fit .....but we have been together for 8 years now and i did quit in to the first year of my relationship because i knew it was some thing i had to do and it would make him happy..........and just because i told him that very same lie didn't make me a constant lier...............good luck
2006-11-08 17:04:27
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answer #9
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answered by mari 3
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well you should confront her about the smoking i mean its not a big deal but it could always turn into something bigger.. remind her that you didnt ask for her to quit but she didnt have to lie to like get your attention ya know.... after the conversation just let it slide no big deal
2006-11-08 16:50:24
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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