Daughter is biting at daycare...Advice on how to STOP this ASAP?

Question

We have 16 almost 17 month old twins. My daughter has bitten my son several times at home and in the last week has bitten him a couple of times at day care. Today, however, she resorted to biting another child in their class after he tried to play with the toy she had at the time. We put her in time out when she bites at home and they do the same at daycare. What is the best way to stop the behavior? Whenever the biting has occured, it has been over a toy.

Answer 1

Some toddlers bite for a little while. When they try to do it, ideally, there should be an adult nearby who can cut in and say firmly, "No. You don't do that."

I'm not saying it isn't a problem or defending it, but there is a big difference between the 16-month-old baby who does it and the two-year-old who bites.

A baby/toddler that young doesn't particularly "get" time out much of the time.

Children need to learn to play with others, but children who are not two yet aren't really always ready for the kind of play that involves playing with another child and knowing not to take toys from the other toddler.

I don't know whether the daycare people can do this or whether you can do this, but - really - the way to deal with this situation while your daughter is in this phase is to watch the other children who head over near her with signs that they're headed for her toy. If you really think about it, they are the ones who have (in her eyes) been aggressive and tried to take away her toy. She's too little to understand that you don't bite over toys or that having someone take your toy shouldn't be seen as "aggressive" (although - really - it is every bit as much aggressive as her getting angry and biting). Again, I'm not defending biting, and it is - in the eyes of adults and in reality - worse than taking a toy; but she's too young to know that.

If, when adults see her, they stop her from following through and say, "No", she'll eventually learn. At the same time, the adult has to take the toy away from the initiator of the aggression and tell that child "No" as well. If your little girl is moved away from the other kid (and gets to keep the toy she had first) she'll learn that adults will stand up for her and protect her "interests" in such a situation, and she'll be less likely to feel she has to "defend" herself.

The only way she's wrong in these scenarios is in her inappropriate way of "defending" herself (or at least "avenging" herself) is in her choice of methods. :) Since she's not going around biting other children for no reason that's something the adults need to consider. We all know not to leave a four-month-old baby on a changing table unattended because he's likely to roll himself off the edge. This is the same kind of thing: a baby who is not even a year and a half yet shouldn't be left unattended to play with other toddlers because, just as four-month-olds roll over, babies this age may bite.

It seems to me that as long as she's in this phase (and, again, people should say "No" and mean it if she starts to bite) the daycare people ought to make sure no other kids head over towards her when she's playing. Babies go through the smacking-their-mother-in-the-face phase, and the hair-pulling phase, and sometimes the "if-you-take-my-toy-I'll-bite-you" phase.

If you picture that adults make sure no other kid takes her toy over the next few months while she's in this phase, she'll develop more verbal skills when she's closer to two and it will be easier to explain to her why you just don't bite. (She'll probably pass through this phase and stop biting on her own anyway, though, but for now she doesn't have the social skills or verbal skills to be able to do anything more civilized.)

She's a little girl with a little brother who is around all the time. Sometimes little boys can have a little more aggressiveness in them than little girls may. She seems to have figured out that the only thing she has to keep the toy she got first is to bite her brother. Now it has kind of become her way of operating. Maybe it would help if you try to arrange for them to be a little more separated at home and when they can't be keep an eye on your little guy that he doesn't go for what she's playing with. (Its not his fault either. He's too young to figure out that you don't take stuff out of people's hands and have them just be ok with it.)

I have kind of spoken on behalf of your little girl because this is one of those times when it looks like someone who is essentially an innocent baby is being made out to be the bad guy; when all she's doing is what some babies her age will do if someone takes away their toy. Her way of responding isn't right, but as a stranger who doesn't know the daycare people at all, I'm wondering why something isn't done to stop the other toddlers from taking her toys. These are babies. They aren't four-year-olds who can be reasoned with and expected to kind of just play together. Babies younger than two just aren't that ready to be able to play with other children without "glitches

It seems to me they may be kind of "laid back" as long as all the babies/toddlers are playing; and only when someone screams from being bitten may they be paying attention. They need to supervise these toddlers better.

Note: I don't agree with the person who said "reward them for when they don't bite". It sends the wrong message to reward children for not doing something they need to know not to do not matter what. Its like "passive blackmail".

Answer 2

my little sister had a biting problem, it was only at daycare she was biting this one little girl. I believe that it was also usually over toys, we would tell her that she dosent bite people shes not a dog, that its bad, really just come down on her hard about it. Eventually she stopped doing it and grew out of it, your deffinatly not alone, but you need to let her know that it is wrong, even though she is young she will understand, she has to know that she cant do that, you might want to exspress how important sharing is also! hope everything turns out okay, im sure if anything else its just a phase that she will grow out of quickly!
~God Bless~

Answer 3

Our son tried a biting faze at daycare, but they jumped on it pretty quick. In the past that had found that kids that would bite regularly did it primarily because they were hungry between meals.

So when we took him to daycare (he was 2 then) we sent him with carrot sticks, and every time he would bite they would put him on a chair and give him a carrot stick. In the end, instead of biting he would ask for the carrot stick. worked brilliantly. worth a try

Answer 4

do not chew your daughter back!! i will't trust each and every man or woman is declaring that! that's carefully ill. And lower than no circumstances ought to you placed Tabasco sauce on your youngster's mouth. that's much better painful for a newborn than an man or woman, and that i evaluate that abuse. you're extremely on song with what you're doing now. She's too youthful to comprehend the best judgment behind being put in day vacation because she bit you, and hurting her might want to in hardship-free words confuse her. even as she bites or pinches, as we talk basically leave the mission. tell her, "No! That hurts mommy!" and then leave (yet bypass someplace the position you will discover her yet she will be able to't see you). she will be able to initiate to make the relationship between hurting you and then no longer having mommy's interest anymore. it may take slightly bit time, yet she'll supply up.

Answer 5

I'm most suredly going to get a lot of flack on this one, but the one sure fire thing that works is to bite her. Not hard, of couse, just enough to show her it hurts. She needs to know how it feels. My daughter bit me very hard one day and I bit her back and she never bit anyone again. Ever. My brother bit me when we were little, drew blood between a jacket, sweater and a long sleeve shirt, my mother bit him and he never bit anyone again.

You need to make sure you do it immediately after she's bitting someone and ask her afterwards if it hurt. She'll of course say yes and remind her that if it hurts her, think how it feels to someone that she bites.

Answer 6

As soon as she bites her sibling, out her in the corner in time out. Do that every time you catch her. Also, if you catch her about to bite, sternly tell her no & put her in time out. That will work pretty quickly. Just an alternative to biting her... but that can work too.

Answer 7

i'm a pre school teacher.first i would watch out b/c he/she will be thrown out if it happens to much.second if the bite breaks skin and it bleeds a parent may ask for testing to be done to make sure the child has no diseases.i had this prob w 1 girl and we made a positive thing rather than a neg thing out of it for her.......for each day she DIDNT bite she was rewarded w something when mommy or daddy picked her up(animal crackers,goldfish,some kind of snack she likes,etc,etc.....

Answer 8

Bite her back. Let her know that is hurts. Then put her in time out.

Answer 9

the Mazateca indians ,beat their babies lightly with a little twig ,when it cries or misbehaves
this works like a charm .and after a while they only have to wave the twig to have a effect.

sound s like this is a good cause for the little twig

you cannot let the baby get away with it ,it might become canibalistic.

Answer 10

Bite her...................let her know how it feels..............not hard............just enough so she will know there is pain involved