I am 18 years old and have been dating my fiance for 3-1/2 years. I have told almost everyone except my parents and everyone is excited but my parents expect me to wait until i finish college. I want to get married in May because I feel I am ready for everything except telling my parents. How did you break the news? My parents arent very strict and they are very understanding in most cases. Also, they love my fiance.
2006-11-08 15:44:43 · 14 answers · asked by Brandi J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My sister has been happily married for 26 years, they got married at 19, my parents flipped when they found out they were engaged, but by the time the wedding date rolled around they had come around to the idea and made the day a happy one, my brother in law is now adored by them and dad considers him his son.
Tell them soon to allow them time to adjust and remember not to get angry at them, it is your life but you are still there baby.
2006-11-08 15:55:34 · answer #1 · answered by Snakelady 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
they might be a little worried (18 seems REALLY young when you're in your 40s or more) but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and have been dating for a while so it's probably no real surprise. I would sit them down and have a nice dinner and break the news. However, i would come with a game plan- how you're going to provide a home for yourself (that's not on thier money), that you're forgoing children until you get your degree, etc. don't be defensive, just tell them that you would like thier blessing and feel this would ease thier minds. If they're traditional, they'll be very happy to know that you're getting married.
I had planned on getting married in college but my parents flipped out. i got engaged junior year and married at 23. I spent the entire four years "living in sin". There were other reasons i choose to wait, which included not wanting to mess up my financial aid. i was functionally a wife and was treated so for the entire time but i didn't like the deception. even when i did get married my family felt i was too young. really they were probably never going to be happy about no matter why age i wed at (i'm the baby)
2006-11-08 15:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by smm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great you feel ready for everything. Doesn't mean you should do it now. Your parents may not accept this which is unfortunate...it would be great if they could support you, but they may not. In which case...they may decide not to help fund your wedding...which leads you down a very rough financial road, now doesn't it? I also recommend waiting until after college. I had been with my now fiance 2 1/2 years when we started college and we're not getting married until at least 2008 after he graduates. There's no harm...I know you feel like you're not rushing things but given your age and your education you may very well be. Good luck!
2006-11-08 16:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat! I am 21and we've been together for more than 4 years. We have a 9 month old son, and everyone is expecting it, but I'm not sure how to tell mom and dad. His parents will be easy. They've been wanting this for a while now.
We are wanting to get married in September, and we haven't bought an engagement ring yet, so I plan on waiting a little longer to tell. I will probably tell mom first.
Good luck, and congratulations!
2006-11-08 16:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them. I told my parents in an email. I live in another continent than my parents. I'm 22. I was shocked at how happy and excited they were. Your parents may suprise you too. Definitely do as the other asker said and make sure to tell them your financial plans as well as your family plans. Don't have children until you are finished your degree!
2006-11-08 16:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously not ready because you haven't told the most important people in your life. No one should get married who can't financially and emotionally support themselves. Listen to your parents, get an education, get a real job, then get married. Your love will still be there and you will be ensuring the success of your marriage.
2006-11-08 20:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they like him, and feel that you are mature enough to enter into this holy matrimony, then I do not see why there would be a problem. Just be forthright and truthful with them. The only way there might be hurt feelings is if you try to hide, conceal, or delay all these matters from them. They are your parents and they have a vested interest in your engagement/marriage. Congratulations, and good luck!
2006-11-08 15:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by Justin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They love your fiance, they will be happy for you. Make it clear that getting married/engaged doesn't mean you're not gonna finish college. Finishing college is a good idea.
2006-11-08 16:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by Chicagoan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your life. Do what you feel is right. They are not living your life, you are. If you are ready to get married, then get married. Just be an adult and tell your parents you are getting married. You will have to tell them eventually or someone else will tell them. Hearing from someone else instead of you might make it worse.
2006-11-08 15:48:20 · answer #9 · answered by boonslilsis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready to tell your parents, you're not ready for marriage! Please, please finish your degree before you get married - I didn't, and I regretted it more times than I can tell you. Do NOT allow yourself to be dependent on a man; I'm not a "feminist" - just a person with experience. Make sure you can stand on your own two feet before you get married - that way, you will never feel trapped, and you will unquestionably have a better marriage.
2006-11-08 15:54:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋