mom help!!!?

Question

my mom always screams at me and says that i don't know how to earn her affection and that my brother is better than me in everything despite the fact that he never does anything,i have come to the conclusion that she hates me what do u think about this?do u think it's true.

also me and her have never tried to communicate with one another b/c she says that everything i think about doing is wrong and she never approves any of my decisions.
she also says that i'm stubborn and that is kind of true but not so true either.

Answer 1

WRITE A PAPER ENTITLED MOM HOW DO I EARN YOUR AFFECTION,WHY DONT YOU LIKE ME AND WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT. THEN LEAVE IT SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE WHERE YOU KNOW SHE WILL READ IT,MAYBE SHE WILL GET THE POINT.I DONT THINK SHE REALIZES SHE IS HURTING YOU.

Answer 2

Okay, let's dissect this;

First, know that you should not have to EARN your mother's affection; love is unconditional and expressions of that unconditional love should be also. It is wrong for her to say you must earn her affection.

Secondly, it is wrong for your mother to compare you, especially so unfavorably, to your brother. You are a unique person with your own special strengths and weaknesses, as are we all.

Thirdly, it is wrong for you to conclude that because of these wrongs, your mother does not love you, or hates you. If your mother did not love you, she would not care how you behaved.

You can't change your mom or her behavior; you can only change how you react to her and how you think about your relationship. To do that, you need a coach/counselor who can help you untangle your thoughts and emotions and learn positive ways to deal with your relationship with your mother, and hope that she will also accept counsel at some point. Ask your school counselor or a trusted, unrelated adult mentor or minister to talk this through with you. You sound like an amazing, intelligent, fair-minded person and I am sure you can get through this.

hugs and best wishes,
cryllie

Answer 3

I could almost see myself saying these things while reading your question. I was once in exactly the same state as you are. Now I'm married and have 2 kids of my own.
I want you to know that a lot of what you say and think has to do with what you think to be true. Your mom is and will be your greatest ally, so respect her and don't take eveything she says too seriously. She might be too busy taking care of things and making ends meet which is emotionally draining. People say things they're not supposed to when they are having difficulty in their life. Eventhough nothing she might say has anything to do with you directly, you should respect her. Remember that one day you will be in her shoes and you might regret the things you say to her now.
Stay in school and focus on that only. Don't let your mind wonder about why and why not. Make something of your life so that one day you can have a good relationship with your mom.

Answer 4

speaking as a parent myself, i to find my self at times doing the same thing that your mother is doing. im not proud of it by any means. i think that sometimes parent want their children to do well. but don't communicate it the right way.i have caught myself on more than one occasion saying something to one of my children comparing them against the other. i know that this is wrong, and i say that I'm sorry. but i realize that some times sorry is no longer enough, and that it really is to late to take back what i said. maybe your mom is doing the same.she wants to see you do better.she just does not know how to communicate it to you in a positive way. i have learned to make more of an effort to think about things that i want to say before saying them, your mother need to learn to do the same. but until she does know in your heart, that she loves you, and that all you can do is do the best that you can. for your self not for any one else, and that includes your parents.

Answer 5

Sounds like the mother-daughter syndrome. Join many other girls going through the same thing. You are having communication problems and will probably never understand how the other thinks, but try to respect one another.

Answer 6

the both of you are thickheaded. She critisizes you more becasue you are her daughter and she wants you to have a better life then she did. You mother loves you very much. Maybe you should talk with her. Go up to her like an ;'adult' and have an 'adult' conversation. Talk to her about school and where you plan on going with life and how you want to try and get there yada yada yada... take it slowly from there. just try to make it worth her while to, she wants to know, she really does, you jsut ahve to guide her there slowly.


and remeber she loves you no matter what and your lucky to have a mom in your life. some of us arent that fortunate

Answer 7

I am very sorry you are treated in such a fashion. You deserve to be treated with respect not yelling and meaness. My mother treated me terribly. I decided not to treat my two girls like that. My girls are 22 & 18 and I have never screamed at them. Being compared to your brother like that is so very wrong. I don't know your age but it sure is unfair that you have to be in the middle of that.

Answer 8

you poor thing, your mother has a problem and she needs help. i think if you call this phone number there are people there that can help you. you can find out what you can do to fix the problem. dont ignore this though

1 800 4 a child

Answer 9

I don't think ur mom hates u cause ur her dughter .but u might just need to try to find someway to get along with her try to spend some time with her give up something to please her she is ur mom any how. if it still doesn't work just live ur life through and everything will get along by it's own.

Answer 10

hey jd well dont worry your mum doesnt know what shes missing she will regret it in the end mother and daugters relationships are ment to be special but dont worry and dont try and be her she will come round lets hope she does soon