I Got Raped Two Years Ago.And Ever Sense That Day Im Always Scared To Let Anyone In Evan If Im Dating Them.Im Scared To Get Close To Anyone Or Let Any One Get Close To Me..I Have Been To Therpy But Im Still Like this.. HELP????
2006-11-08 15:40:21 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe you are just not ready. When the right person comes along, you will totally trust them. You will trust and feel secure with them. As secure as you felt in your mothers arms as a baby.
2006-11-08 15:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry about your experience. No one deserves what you have been going through.
Since I am a guy and have never been raped, I cannot fully understand what you are going through but I have dated someone who had been in a similar situation as yours. So I think my persepective may be a bit different.
First of all, it will always effect you in some manner. Traumatic events seem to do that to people. What is most important is how we deal with it. In your case, I think it is important for your boyfriend to know why you have issues and be patient. This maybe a bit harsh but a boyfriend that cannot be patient given your trauma is not being supportive and a happy relationship is not likely.
I am not saying to dump him but communication and support is key to trust and that is what you are lacking at a subconscious level.
Your boyfriend will need to allow you to build the trust you need to let him past your defenses. This just takes time. Don't rush it because it can't be. It may take years. Don't be surprised that most guys won't wait around. Don't get discouraged-the worst thing you could do is to retreat away and not date anymore. Although you may have some unsuccessful relationships, all are helping you deal with your trauma.
Therapy will help with the many feelings you have now and will have in the future. I highly recommend it.
Good Luck
PS. Remember that woman I dated that had similar issues? I married her.
2006-11-08 16:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by my2cents 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, don't be too scared to face new people, stuffs and most importantly - new things in reality! All of us can understand your trauma and shadows that happened to you previously. But most important thing is you're the only person that can help yourself. No one can and no one has the ability to change one & another! You must REALLY let go of the pasts, bit by bit and it takes long time for your wounds to be healed. But it helps! We know it's definitely very difficult to let go and it terrifies you extremely. But if you've never learn how to let go, you'll never know how to receive, not even mentioning to gain something else. Since you've been to the therapy sessions, I'm sure the professionals have been doing their best to help you. Did you really try & do what they said or something is still holding you back? Think about it, only you knows! I hope you can slowly walk out of your shadows, let your dream guy takes it a slow stride to enter your heart! Don't be afraid to try. That's the only way to break your fears! Anyway, sweetheart - you must really learn to forget and you'll be receiving it in no time. Take care & keep trying!!!
2006-11-08 15:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by PoshBerries 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that. Somehow you need to regain your trust especially to people close to you. Always paly it safe but do not be scared always.
You have been raped and if you continue on this fearful mindset you will never win. You owe it to yourself, be strong. Past is past...You can not change it anymore. The best thing is, you can do something about your future.
2006-11-08 15:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by alandicho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need someone close. A valued relation can only heal you out of this. Go slow, meet people, befriend them, but don't trust easily. Give some time, and when your heart feel it ok, then only go serious. Just give some more time. One more thing : no two fingers are alike.
2006-11-08 15:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Svati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been raped 3 times and once was right outside my job it is just somthin you gotta get over honey if you let it get to you they win
you cant change what happend i wish i could but it just cant happen you gotta keep yur head up its hard and it hurts inside but only if you let it
but now i carry a 5 inch switch blade at all times
good luck and i hope you get over this
2006-11-08 15:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by lv23smurf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are OK just boys which you choose are dogs.
I don't know your desire but looks like bad luck in love.
Is the way I fell about you.
Let us hurry to love people,
they depart so quickly.
2006-11-08 15:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing you can do except decide when your ready, and you will find a guy who dosent mind going realy slow for you, or completely abstaining for a time, jsut decide when youre ready and trust someone, dont ruh it because you think you have to otherwise you will have even worse memories.
2006-11-08 15:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is not along enough to put something like that behind you give it plenty of time try not to dwell on it but most of all be honest with your partner and your self its not an easy situation to deal with .......good luck
2006-11-08 15:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by treeman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its will deffinitly take time to get over. it was a horribel impact on your life. if you start to like someone, you need to warn them that it will take you some time to get close and they have to be understanding. good luck, and im very sorry that happened to you
2006-11-08 15:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋