I have been dating this guy (just turned 19 and i'm 16 about to turn 17) but neither one of our parents know about us dating. He's met mine, and they liked him, but they wont let me date him until his mom says its fine that we do. But his mom wont even let me come over to meet her and like have dinner or anything. She doesnt like the fact that i'm 16 and he's 19, but how do i get her to just meet me and then decide if i'm actually mature enough to date her son? i'm so sick of having to hide my relationship, and i just want her to actually meet me before saying im just some little girl...?
2006-11-08 15:02:19 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not sure if you'll get her to meet you, it might just take some time, but if you do here are some things I've learned:
A mother is always very protective of her son for just reasons and as a result mother in laws are impossible and frustrating to deal with for us girls. Just realize that no matter what you do she might not like you. Give up the battle now because in her eyes you're stealing her baby boy. But no matter what just realize that there is nothing wrong with you. It is her inability to accept that her son is growing up and that she has to let him go. It'll do a number on your self esteem if you don't realize this now. It'll be hard for her to accept you until he is out on his own and supporting himself financially and emotionally, doing his own laundry etc.. Everything will change completely when you can support yourself. Once you have the money to be on your own there is nothing they can do. If you have trouble understanding and you just feel like you'll never get through it try to understand where his mom is coming from. Someday you'll be a mom too and it'll be tough to let your babies go.(This always helped me a little bit) Also just realize that this is your relationship and not your parents. Ask your boyfriend to talk to his mom and tell her how you feel. perhaps you can write her a polite and short letter asking for a chance. Nothing too long or mushy. Just try not to be too rebellious and show them you are mature by not doing anything immature. (sneaking around, etc.)
In conclusion every girl goes through this at one point another. Don't let it get you down. I had this same problem when I was 15 and my boyfriend was a year older then me. We were completely dependent on our parents. Now we are 19 and 20 officially engaged with the 5000 dollar ring, dream car, college education, and apartment. Now that we are on our own we can do whatever we want and our relationship with family is a lot better. If he does turn out to be a keeper realize that even though it doesn't seem good now it'll get a lot better later.
2006-11-08 15:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like dads with their daughters moms are the same with their sons. There is not a whole lot you can do. If he wants this relationship he is going to have to talk to her. Maybe you can get him to tell you about some of the things she likes. Would she agree to meet you two at a nice resturant ? If not send her a gift basket or something and drop a little line like " I cant wait until we meet", or " I hope we can get together soon". Dont be too pushy though because sons we always choose their moms over there girls. Good luck I hope things work out for you.
2006-11-08 15:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by brookesingsalways 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At any point you could get that guy arrested because you are a minor and he isnt. I dont think you are going to win her over until you are of age. I think that is what she is worring about. She cant not like you for any other reason because she hasnt even met you.
2006-11-08 15:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by Thumper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋