Last night I had a dream about a co-worker. He's a really nice guy and he's always right there whenever I need him. In my dream I kissed him and the funny thing is even during the dream I realized that I probably shouldn't be kissing him and stopped myself. This is because I am engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years. I woke up feeling kinda guilty and I felt like I cheated on my fiance. I think I feel even more guilty because I know I have feelings for this other guy. I have no desire to cheat on my fiance in real life--and even if I did it would not be the mature thing to do so I wouldn't allow myself to do it. Is it possible to like another person for the qualities they possess and that your significant other lacks but still love your fiance? Am I just having pre-wedding jitters? Am I with the right guy? Why do I sometimes have crushes on other guys? Does this happen after you've been with someone for a while?
2006-11-08 14:36:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One of the reasons I ask this is my fiance is my high school sweet heart. So I don't have a lot of relationships under my belt. Also we're at the point in our relationship where I'm aware of all of his faults and he of mine. Kinda at a tough time also because we're both trying to get college degrees. He's a junior and i'm a sophomore. I know I can live with his faults for the rest of my life but sometimes I wonder if I'm just too young to know what i'm getting myself into. Also at the same time can never see myself breaking up with my fiance because he is the other half that makes me whole. We've become so close that we're often the same person and can have a conversation without talking. We usually know what the other is thinking. But will I regret never experiencing other guys? I know there are tons out there who I could love and others who I'd hate. Or should I count my blessings for having met someone who I get a long with so well and stop worrying about silly things
2006-11-08 14:48:03 · update #1
It is normal to admire other guys as long as you would not do anything about it. I mean, it is okay to see the attitude that guy has BUT do not ever compare. Because there is no perfect individual, no perfect or ideal man who has everything. When you start to compare a guy to your fiance, you will start to doubt your feelings (just like what's happening ), you are starting to question your feelings and if he is the right one. Remember that if you contiue to be like this, hte cycle will just go on.You will like someone, dump the one you are with, then get another one..because every guy lacks something. What makes them perfect is our love for them.We see their flaws and still accept them. My advice is that, if you knew you are happy wiht your finace and you can't imagine soemone else to be with you then don't doubt. If you are not happy and doubts are all over you then give up while you still can and not after you are married when evrything will be difficult for you. Hope this helps, God bless
2006-11-08 14:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by justurangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. I've been married almost 13 yrs and still (rarely) get a "crush" on someone. Like you, I have no desire to actually do anything about it and it's certainly not something I encourage myself to think about so that it doesn't ever get out of hand, but I think it's normal to find someone else attractive and nice to be around. Like an ARMY chaplain once explained to us, there are plenty of other people you "could" be with... but you have CHOSEN to commit your life to one person... and staying with your choice and sticking by your love no matter what other things might tempt you to stray is what will keep your relationship strong and lasting. So be friends with the other guy if you can and if you can't then try to keep a distance, be true to your love and you will be just fine. Best of luck to you as you begin your life together, and God bless!
2006-11-08 14:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember a dream is just a dream, you can't help what happens. You may have some feelings for this other, because maybe he is giving you attention you want that maybe your fiance is not giving you. I think you are having pre-wedding jitters and you are with the right guy. I don't think you have an actually crush on this guy. Just go on a special date with your fiance and enjoy getting married and don't feel bad. We are human and you can look just not touch.
2006-11-08 14:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by bsigno21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for a long time. If you are happy with your Fiance then chalk the other guy up to a crush. I know if you work close with someone it is easy to have feelings for them. There are a lot of guys out there that are sweet and attractive, etc. But if you have a good guy you love do not let him go. I think that is how it will always be you will meet people you find attractive, sweet, etc. You will have feelings you just have to be strong enough to not act on them!
2006-11-08 14:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to admire qualities in others that your SO doesn't have. Having crushes on other guys is fine as long as you don't act. Remember that dreams are just dreams, although I do know where you're coming from as far as having a steamy dream about someone else then waking up next to your SO. It makes you squirm.
2006-11-08 14:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Steph L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spirita explains your dreams
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2006-11-09 01:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Spirita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I EVER found out my GF thought this way, I would MURDER her!! Just kidding. No, it's normal, if your not acting on it and it's not affecting the time you spend with him. Now, on the flip side of the coin, if you spend ALL your time thinking of other guys, even when your WITH your guy, then MAYBE he isn't the right one.
2006-11-08 14:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Shadow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take the dream too seriously unless it starts ocurring frequently. Just forget about it, you are engaged.
2006-11-08 14:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by DW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pants, as in huh eeh huh eeh huh interior the early levels; aggravating interior the process the typhoon, and then I study the final and understood. sexy, considered necessary desires require capability, acknowledgement of fact to stand as much as. this could be on your precise 5 of your precise 40 best; perchance even the precise.
2016-10-21 12:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try out the new guy, if he's good then take it!
2006-11-08 14:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋