is it wrong to hate your father?

Question

i hate my father...i can't remember one memory with him...he doesn't understand..never called..he never paid child support...he pretended to love me at one time then dropped me back into the world on the day i was born....i've lived a great life without him...but if he does come around should i forgive him?

Answer 1

It sounds natural that you would have these feelings for your father. If he does ever choose to enter back into your life then the decision is up to you as to whether you want to have any contact with him. You may decide that he has hurt and used you enough and that you don't trust him to be a loving father so would rather that he remains out of your life. Or he could ask or beg for your forgiveness and be sincere in doing so and you may end up with a great relationship with your father where you can discuss how he made you feel for all the years he was not-supportive etc. It would be a big decision on your part if he were to come around again and one that I would suggest that you take your time before coming to any rash decision.

Answer 2

You have every right to hate your father because he was NEVER involved in your life and never wanted to take part of it! You shouldn't have any respect for your father because he never took responsibilities for his actions, was never man enough to admit he was wrong, and wanted nothing to do with you! Besides, I applaud you for living your life without him, because you are doing just fine! Besides, why bother trying to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't love you back? Your father is paying the price by not being there for you when you needed him the most! The decisions that he's been making will be full of deep regret later! Good luck and keep moving on with your life! You don't need him!

Answer 3

To err is human to forgive divine. My father did the same thing...first I talked to my mother to make sure she wouldn't be insulted if he and I became friends...after all she did all the work to raise me..I felt I owed her the respect of asking whether or not it would be hurtful to her. Another thing is that I would not let my dad talk ill about my mom. She made all the sacrifices and deserved his and my respect. I demanded that he not dwell in THEIR past and that he and I begin OUR relationship from where we are now. I held no real animosity toward him because I respected my mom's role as mother and father and not only that she ain't perfect (smile). She did a pretty good job despite the hardships she endured as a hard working single low income parent. There were times when people asked me where he was but my mom instilled enough confidence in me to meet most situations on cue. You know, never know the dynamics between your mom and dad that could have contributed to his poor performance as a dad. But honestly NO BAD EXPERIENCE SHOULD EVER keep a parent from contributing to his/her child's upbringing, future or present. Not paying child support is a bad thing...but if your dad is willing to try and make for his actions consider giving him a chance. But compartmentalize the experience. Meaning: "It is what it is". Except what he has to offer and give him a break on what he can't do...but definitely don' t YOU expect him to make up for all you missed with him. If he wants to take that burden upon himself then let him do so...it won't be an easy task...don't stress yourself out trying to recapture the experiences you missed out on..it will only cause problems between you and your dad. Darling....just sit back and enjoy having a new friend (your father) who wants to do what he can to make you happy and a part of his world. Let PEACE be your objective and an opportunity to SHARE your lives your motivation. Good luck love. from L.S.

Answer 4

hate always hurts you more than the other person- it isn't a physical thing that they can feel, but it IS a mental thing that can torture you. I would find a way to forgive him, not because the things he did weren't cruel but because he is pitiful person who will always suffer the consequences of his actions and behavior- he won't know the joy of being loved by a child, he won't have the comfort of true friends, etc. forgiveness isn't forgetting however, nor is it being a staunch supporter of someone. It's simply willing to let go the pain, to reduce the power this person has over your thoughts and your life. Live for yourself, and cast this hatred you have for him away.

Answer 5

Hate will destroy you in the end. You can forgive someone in your heart and still not like them for what they have done. When you forgive, you are also pushing hate out of your heart, and that needs to be done. This does not mean that you ever have to see someone again or have a conversation. So, forgive him now, even if you never see him again.

Answer 6

Forgive Him, theres no reason to let what he's done to you bother you any longer, Just forget about it, theres total dead beat parents all over the world but that doesnt mean it has to hurt you and what you want with your life. Just because your dad happens to be a jerk that doesnt mean your any less important than anyone else. But dont hold grudges just wish him well and move on with your life.

Answer 7

that's not incorrect in the form of enormous volume of words.... in case you've faith the bible it says you're to appreciate your mom and father and obey them, yet in the journey that they were to do some thing like abuse in any way, or reason a wrestle between you than seperation is a result. in case you sense hate in the route of your father tell him, and clarify why. Be straightforward. in case you sense this way now that's ultimate to sparkling the air of unstated thoughts even as you nonetheless can. it may help him to to work out, or a minimum of help convey you some closure. do not wrestle him, basically say your peace and leave.

Answer 8

yes, you should forgive him cause you are only burdening, tearing yourself if you continue to dwell into the pass. no matter what he has done to you he is accountable to God not you but as for you, you are accountable when comes to being his son - that's why it's not right to hate your father. like it or not it's still the fact he's your father and there's nothing to change that. learn to forgive not because for your father but for yourself and a better life for yourself, although forgetting is never possible.

Answer 9

Yes it is wrong to hate your father and any one else and yes you should forgive him you can not be forgiven by God unless first you forgive those who have done you wrong. this does mean you have to like what he has done but maybe he has problem that you don't understand hate only hurts your self it causes cancer ulcers all kinds of illness hate is a disease we are to love our enemy repay bad with good i hope you believe in God because god believes in you Love is the answer to all love your Mother and your Father Please.

Answer 10

maybe you should forgive if you cant live with out him. and maybe accept him back.but since you have learnt to live withuot him,maybe you should just let him know the things you have written in here ( your question). let him know how you have felt, and its all because of him.tell him that, even if you have forgiven him,nothing can be done to catch up with the times that he had lost with you.and you have lead a life all this while, where he never took cared of,or even bothered to know about you-and yet, you had still lived.and it will remain that way.